Military Brides

Groom Presenting a Flag to Bride

My fiancé is active army and we are getting married in a couple weeks. I'm trying to find a way to honor him and acknowledge the fact he's soon deploying without it being to bah hum bug. I love the song "Soldier" by Gavin Degraw and was thinking that maybe my fiancé's dad (active national guard) and my fiancé could do a flag folding ceremony and present it to me while the song plays. We are going for emotional but not too negative. I know flag presentation happens at funerals a lot, but one of our nco friends told me that there are other reasons to present the flag and that it would be very appropriate. Does anyone have any thoughts or other ideas on what could be done while the song plays?

THanks for your creative ideas!


Re: Groom Presenting a Flag to Bride

  • Honestly, I would find that very depressing and sad. I say to keep the wedding about you and him getting married and the happiness - not the fact that he will be leaving soon. 
  • Agree with PP.  I'm a MOB with 26 years in and I have never seen anything like that and it feels very sad and wierd.  The reason a military wife is normally presented with a folded flag is because her husband died.  I don't get any positive vibe from this at all.  I don't want to be mean or anything but as a guest I would think it a bit wierd and I would be uncomfortable.
  • thanks for your thoughts ladies. do you have any other ideas of what I can do instead?


  • Just have a wedding. Why would you want to combine anything about him deploying soon with what is supposed to be a happy day? 
  • it's not about him deploying, it's just honoring our choice to be a career military family. he's second generation so I think it would be neat to have his father pass down something to him to pay tribute to it.
  • At most then, have maybe your Dad, or someone, raise a toast during the toast time to all military present, and say that he's honored to have the tradition continue with this new family. I've seen this done by FOB briefly and succinctly, and it was nice. But keep it light, and short. It's a wedding, trust me, the rest of your life will be about being a military family. Just be a bride for the day!
  • Agree with lisabeats.  My dad was a lifer in the military, I was a lifer in the military.  Anything more than a toast really is overkill and awkward.  I highly encourage you to take advantage of being a bride for the day cuz Uncle Sam will be knocking at your door a whole lot!
  • lol i'm finding out how true that is, the hubby is in training all the time now it seems. We really like the song "soldier" by Gavin Degraw. We like it because it isn't a Debbie downer song, it talks about "if you need i'll be there for you" we want to use it in the ceremony but I don't want it to be about death or deployment. Any other ideas on how to use the song in the ceremony? we aren't doing anything else military in the wedding.
  • Maybe use it as a background for your introduction, your first dance, or while you cut the cake or something. Realistically, you can't expect everyone to catch on to it all at once or hear it the way you hear it. Just let it be during one of the "moments" that are for you guys and the two of you will know why it's special. Anything more than that I feel may be overkill.
  • Maybe you could make a slideshow of the two of you and have that be one of your songs? I agree with the rest of the ladies though, keep the day upbeat and about your love! Everyone knows he is a soldier and you loving him is honor enough. :) Congratulations!
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