Dear Prudence,
My college graduation should be a joyous event, but for me it is
foreboding. I find events of this sort to be embarrassing since the
accomplishments of mine being lauded are so meager. I have celebrated
birthdays, graduations, and other milestone parties by leaving in tears.
I have tried counseling to little avail and have been like this for as
long as I can remember, and believe it is simply a quirk of my
personality. I have found it best, after making the minimum required
appearance, to be by myself to work out my emotions away from the public
eye. I attended a low-ranking university lured by a full-ride in a bad
economy. I have excelled there, but I have not been particularly
challenged or self-motivated. I’ve decided to work for a year or two
before considering graduate school. The job I had lined up fell through
due to budget cuts and I haven’t yet found another one. I’m moving in
with my parents while I look. Without consulting me, my parents have
invited my extended family and their friends to celebrate my graduation.
I feel a great shame over how I have spent the past four years and do
not feel I have thick-enough skin to explain my situation. This is
compounded by the fact that my brother entered a highly competitive
graduate program upon his graduation. I would rather spend the day
reflecting. Am I being unreasonable to ask them to just let me do that?