Registry and Gift Forum

Involvement in Wedding Shower

So I don't know a lot about wedding showers. Am I supposed to have anything to do with my own wedding shower? Like do I decided the date and time and send out invitations, or is that the job of whoever is hosting it? Also, is there a traditional time that people throw wedding showers, such as a certain amount of months before the wedding?

Re: Involvement in Wedding Shower

  • No, you have nothing to do with it.  If someone offers you a shower, you can accept it.  You should not ask someone to throw you a shower or throw one for yourself.  It is likely that the host would confirm the date with you and maybe the general plan.  

    My mom's best friend hosted my shower.  We talked about a date together, since I was coming from out of town, and then she picked a restaurant and menu, sent out the invitations, and handled RSVPs.  

    My shower was in April for a July wedding, since the timing worked out with me coming into town.  I think showers are typically in the 2-3 months before the wedding.  
  • Thank you :)
  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers

    I disagree with jessicabessica that you have nothing to do with it. You absolutely have say in the date! Without you there, it wouldn't be a shower.  You also have say in the guest list, as long as it falls within the host's limits since you need to make sure that only those invited to the wedding are also invited to the shower.


    As for where it's at, what happens, what food is served, etc., you don't get say...but there are some very key things that you definitely will have input on!

  • Thank you all for your input!
  • You should ask the host how many people she would like to host/accommodate and then make the invitation list. You'd hate for your host to leave off someone important that you want to be there or invite someone who isn't invited to the wedding.
  • Agree with PP; your only real involvement is to ask the hostess what she can afford in terms of guests and then supply a full and accurate guest list WITH ADDRESSES. You should have some say-so in the date, of course, and if your opinion is asked for on other things, provide it. Don't say 'whatever you want'; speaking as a several-time hostess of bridal showers, that is NOT helpful.

    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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