Reception Speeches/toasts?

Tripletwist88

Hey,

So at almost every wedding/rehearsal dinner, there are a variety of toasts and speeches given.  I was wondering the brides-to-be and those who have to give the speeches/toasts thoughts on a training program for it.  Would a bride want to pay to make sure their dad felt comfortable giving a speech, or to ensure the best man does not give an inappropriate toast?  

Any speech horror stories? It's a fear of mine not only getting up and speaking but also having someone embarrass me on my big day.  Would anyone want to pay to ensure it runs smoothly and/or pay if they felt nervous getting up there?

Thanks for your feedback, just something I have been mulling around in my mind!  

bunni727

Since speeches are never required, people who don't feel comfortable don't have to give a speech. So that's an easy fix.

It would be horribly insulting to pay someone to teach someone how to toast properly. Not only does that assume you know their speech would be inappropriate, it assumes that they would want to give a toast in the first place, but it also assumes you have a right to change what they would offer.

If you are worried about a specific person, just tell the DJ or MC that you don't want any speeches given. No worries.

MairePoppy

I went to a wedding were every member of the very large wedding party, plus representatives from the bride's and groom's families gave speeches. The speeches were loaded with inside jokes and stories from kindergarten to drunken college parties. Although most of the speakers were experienced at public speaking - it was excruciating to sit there listening to all that nonsense. I left my table after the third or fourth speech, headed to the lady's room, chatted with some of the guests that were killing time in there, passed by the courtyard, where guests were smoking, headed to the bar, where there was a long line of wedding guests getting refills. I can promise you, the only ones who enjoyed the speeches were the bride and groom, speakers and parents. The rest of us were hungry and itching to get onto the dance floor.

If your dad wants to make a toast, he'll volunteer. Don't offer him instructions. He's your Dad, his heartfelt toast should be good enough for you.

southernbelle0915

RetreadBride said:

Toasts are a congratulations to the couple, not a speech.

Since the toast is a congratulations, no one should be asked or directed to give one.  The couple should wait until someone offers.

The MOH and Best Man usually give a toast, but it's not required.  Wait until they offer.

The toasts aren't required. The couple can eliminate them entirely, and tell anyone who offers that the wedding was enough attention for them.  Thank you, but we want to party and not bore the guests.

Exactly this.

Toast horror story: wedding last summer, MOH feared public speaking so BM#2 gave toast. Here's what went down:

 

1) Read from her iPhone the whole time - did not look at anyone, even bride;

2) BM#2 was slamming drinks beforehand "because she was nervous" and was noticeably drunk; 

3) talked about all "bride's" previous boyfriends/failed relationships and how messy she was as a roommate; 

4) speech lasted for a SOLID 15 minutes (everyone was staring uncomfortably at the floor; while the bride looked helpless and horrified); and 

5) *the best/worst of all* BM#2 made a blatant reference to the fact that bride/groom were living together (this was a BIG secret from her ultra religious family).

FAIL.