Pre-wedding Parties

Jack and Jill/Registry Question

So my fiance and I are getting married in October. We are registered and everything since we are in the process of buying a house. He really wanted a jack and jill so my bridal party is planning one. But i was told there was no point in registering since people pay for the jack and jill. We really need stuff for our house! If i am having a jack and jill I dont have a shower right? Do people still buy you gifts for a jack and jill? Should we have not registered?

Re: Jack and Jill/Registry Question

  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    You don't have a party where guests must pay, period. If you really need stuff for your house", leave it at the shower. You can't ask guests to fund your wedding,. It is your gift to them, not the other way around.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    There are two types of Jack and Jills: 

    One is a the same as a traditional shower. Men and women are invited and the groom is there to enjoy the festivities. The guests bring traditional gifts. 

    The other is run like a fundraising carnival - admission tickets are sold, there are raffles, sometimes roulette wheels and card games. Food and soft drinks are usually provided for the price of admission. Sometimes, there is a bar where beer and liquor are sold to raise money for the couple. The point of the party is to fleece your loved ones for cash to pay for your wedding. This may be an acceptable way for firemen to raise money for fire victims or your church to raise money for the poor, but your wedding is not a charity. 

    You should let your bridal party know that you want a traditional Jack and Jill, not a fundraiser.


                       
    brielleinlove
  • MairePoppy's assessment is correct.  If your bridal party is planning the second kind of Jack and Jill, tell them to change their plans.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Please have the shower J & J. The fundraiser version is terribly tacky. Plus, it isn't the kind of party you seem to be looking for. Explain that to your fiance.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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