WEDDING HAS HAPPENED UPDATE - Rude Rsvp (?) WWYD?

annathy03 · May 2013

An eight-year old doesn't need a +1. End of story. If she's shy, she can hang with her parents all night. If they don't want to tend to their child all night, they can hire a sitter.

Exactly this.

laradoll · May 2013

StageManager14 said:

I definitely don't think you should give in, though I totally agree with PPs that your FI should be the one to respond.

To all you who said that I should get FI to deal with it- (honest question) does that seem rude as I have been the one to deal with them up to now?

(Also I did the phone call because FI wasn't able to and I replied to the email because it was me they sent to it)

Peledreamsofrain · May 2013

Who lets unrelated people take their son to a stranger's wedding? WHO?

jemmini6 · May 2013

laradoll said:

StageManager14 said:

I definitely don't think you should give in, though I totally agree with PPs that your FI should be the one to respond.

To all you who said that I should get FI to deal with it- (honest question) does that seem rude as I have been the one to deal with them up to now?

(Also I did the phone call because FI wasn't able to and I replied to the email because it was me they sent to it)

When it started out as a simple question, there's no reason that you couldn't handle it. However, since it's now moved toward awkwardness, there's no shame in handing over the reigns to your FI. They'll likely receive it better from him since they've obviously known him longer.

zitiqueen · May 2013

Jen4948 said:

If they keep emailing her and he doesn't handle it, she's stuck in the middle.

Only if she chooses to put herself in the middle. If her FI refuses to handle this, she's got bigger issues to worry about.

Simply Fated · May 2013

AddieL73 said:
I was like Stage. My dad reminds me all the time that when I was playing at the playground, if other kids came along, I would leave. I was even almost too shy to go up to Mickey and Minnie at Disneyworld.

But I agree their reasons sound ridiculous and pushy, and I would stick to your guns.

I was the EXACT same way on the playground!

I had a "boyfriend" when I was 5. It NEVER would have crossed my mind to even want him at a family wedding like that. That's bizarre.
You never know, her and this kid might stay together and get married and live happily ever after. But they don't need to use your wedding as a romantic playdate. Just... no.

TKzilla · May 2013

Sorry, third grader. No ring, no bring.

(totally joking about the no ring/no bring policy, don't do that IRL)

Simply Fated · May 2013

CourtaniaLynn said:
Sorry, third grader. No ring, no bring.

(totally joking about the no ring/no bring policy, don't do that IRL)

Do ring pops count?

TKzilla · May 2013

Simply Fated said:

Sorry, third grader. No ring, no bring.

(totally joking about the no ring/no bring policy, don't do that IRL)
Do ring pops count?

Only if they're the blue ones. Blue stuff tastes the best. It's science.

KDM323 · May 2013

I guess it wouldn't be proper etiquette to revoke the invitation to the entire bunch of them now would it?

Wow. That's special snowflake thinking at its finest.

I'd simply reply to them:

While I an appreciate that your daughter is shy, we are unable to accomodate your request to bring an additional uninvited guest to our wedding.

If this changes your ability to attend, please do let us know by x/y/z.

Wow...just wow. A "boyfriend" for an 8 year old. That's just amazing.

Peledreamsofrain · May 2013

I can't get this thread out of my mind. Every fiber of my being is all..

MoxieMickie · May 2013

As someone who was painfully shy as a child, I will say this is the parents' responsiblity, not the bride and groom's, to solve the problem of what to do with their shy child. They might get a sitter, they might hold her hand all night, or they might find some technique in a parenting book about helping her get more comfortable in these situations. They do not get to bring a friend with her. They are, in fact, making the problem worse by teaching her that the world revolves around her comfort.

If he brings up the "relationship" part again (this freaks me out; it reminds me of those horrible cases I read about in the third world in which a family sells one daughter into sexual slavery to feed the rest of the family), I would say something like, "we are only inviting relationship partners if we are not legally required to report sexual contact between them." something concise, but designed to make him feel icky.

emeejeeayen · May 2013

If she's so painfully shy why not get a babysitter for the night that she's comfortable with? When I was 8 it really didn't matter who my parents brought for me to an event, I just wanted to hold my mom's hand the entire night.

That said, I will say when I was 5 I got kicked out of kindergarten class multiple times for pinning down my "boyfriend" and kissing him during circle time. (FI complains about my PDA tendencies to this day.) Clearly I'm a different kind of shy.

swimmy1988 · May 2013

I "married" my neighbour when I was 4. Our sisters set the whole thing up, it was mostly just for play. Haha but even if I did attend a wedding at that age, I wouldn't have even asked to bring him along. I had 3 siblings though so was always around children I knew.
Is she an only child?

laradoll · May 2013

swimmy1988 said:

Is she an only child?

yep she is

StephJean83 · May 2013

swimmy1988 said:
I "married" my neighbour when I was 4. Our sisters set the whole thing up, it was mostly just for play. Haha but even if I did attend a wedding at that age, I wouldn't have even asked to bring him along. I had 3 siblings though so was always around children I knew.
Is she an only child?

I get the idea that she must be an only child. I was far from shy as a child but my older sister was horribly shy. She couldn't even walk up to a priest we knew and accept the bear she won at a Christmas party without me holding her hand. Maybe because she had me, our parents would never have thought to see if she could bring a friend to a wedding.

I also was "married" as a child, to about 5 different neighborhood boys. My brother used to claim he wanted to be a priest so he would "practice" Mass, wedding ceremonies and even funerals with our dead fish or other small pets.

Dreamergirl8812 · May 2013

Tell him his daughter's a slut.

Dreamergirl8812 · May 2013

Really?! I can't say that word?

Also, I also had a crush on boy named Justin when I was 8 so it's about to go down between me and Addie.

Teddy917 · May 2013

Most parents don't even like the fact that their children date when they're old enough. This is the strangest thing I've ever heard of.
When I was a child and brought to an event, I brought a book or something to do. I was considered the best behaved kid. I never expected anyone to accomadate me. I sat down and shut up and was happy as a clam.

TKzilla · May 2013

Teddy917 said:

Most parents don't even like the fact that their children date when they're old enough. This is the strangest thing I've ever heard of. When I was a child and brought to an event, I brought a book or something to do. I was considered the best behaved kid. I never expected anyone to accomadate me. I sat down and shut up and was happy as a clam.

That was back in the good ol' days of yesteryear, when parents didn't bow to their child's every want and demand. When you could give 'em a slap on the butt if they were misbehaving and CPS wouldn't get involved. When the word "no" actually meant something.

Sigh. I miss those days.

arrippa · May 2013

CourtaniaLynn said:

Teddy917 said:

Most parents don't even like the fact that their children date when they're old enough. This is the strangest thing I've ever heard of. When I was a child and brought to an event, I brought a book or something to do. I was considered the best behaved kid. I never expected anyone to accomadate me. I sat down and shut up and was happy as a clam.
That was back in the good ol' days of yesteryear, when parents didn't bow to their child's every want and demand. When you could give 'em a slap on the butt if they were misbehaving and CPS wouldn't get involved. When the word "no" actually meant something.

Sigh. I miss those days.

They give out participation trophies theses days. What happened to the days of actually trying to win and being rewarded for being better. But this is coming from someone who thought boys were gross at 8. No wonder I am finally getting married at 35.

Also growing up, I had to go to a lot of functions were I was uncomfortable (I was a a very shy little girl) and I always carried a book. Maybe the father should bring her a book instead of her boyfriend.

[Deleted User] · May 2013

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[Deleted User] · May 2013

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[Deleted User] · May 2013

That's another thing-- 'rough' kids? I've never been to a wedding where kids beat the hell out of each other.

StephJean83 · May 2013

LMc0322 said:
That's another thing-- 'rough' kids? I've never been to a wedding where kids beat the hell out of each other.

You mean the latest wedding trend isn't "Fight Club for Kids"?

laradoll · May 2013

LMc0322 said:

That's another thing-- 'rough' kids? I've never been to a wedding where kids beat the hell out of each other.

He thinks my family is a bit 'rough' why I have no idea - we just aren't as posh as FI family (this cousins side especially) But we certainly aren't going to beat you up.

How do I say this. My family is mostly Working class made good. FI family are very good made better

PrettyGirlLost · May 2013

LMc0322 said:

That's another thing-- 'rough' kids? I've never been to a wedding where kids beat the hell out of each other.

Me neither. . . just girls getting rowdy during the bouquet toss :-P

[Deleted User] · May 2013

This is just so absurd. I hope that you will provide us with an update after FI speaks to them.

zitiqueen · May 2013

laradoll said:

LMc0322 said:

That's another thing-- 'rough' kids? I've never been to a wedding where kids beat the hell out of each other.
He thinks my family is a bit 'rough' why I have no idea - we just aren't as posh as FI family (this cousins side especially) But we certainly aren't going to beat you up.
How do I say this. My family is mostly Working class made good. FI family are very good made better

You don't! Your FI does!

Seriously, this is exactly none of your responsibility. He needs to deal with his family, NOT YOU!

laradoll · May 2013

zitiqueen said:

laradoll said:

LMc0322 said:

That's another thing-- 'rough' kids? I've never been to a wedding where kids beat the hell out of each other.
He thinks my family is a bit 'rough' why I have no idea - we just aren't as posh as FI family (this cousins side especially) But we certainly aren't going to beat you up.
How do I say this. My family is mostly Working class made good. FI family are very good made better

You don't! Your FI does!

Seriously, this is exactly none of your responsibility. He needs to deal with his family, NOT YOU!

sorry - i was saying 'how do i say this'? about the above saying why Cousin calle dthe other kids 'rough' as in couldn't find the words

I have handed it over to FI he has promised to phone tonight.

I will keep you all updated

WEDDING HAS HAPPENED UPDATE - Rude Rsvp (?) WWYD?

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