RSVPs when you don't know plated or buffet

leasimon

We have 182 people on our invite list plus 17 more on tier 2 that we'd like to invite if we have space.

My venue can accommodate 184 people for a plated meal, but only 152 for a buffet. We would prefer a buffet, but I'm worried that we won't get enough "no"s to be able to invite everyone we want there. Is it incredibly tacky to ask for meal choice on the RSVP as if there will be a plated meal, and then if we get enough "no"s switch it to a buffet? Or, is there any non-committal language we can use on the RSVP card that isn't tacky? Something like "Depending on the number of guests, we may be serving a plated dinner or a buffet, but we would appreciate if you let us know which meal option you would prefer."

Maggie0829

First, do not do an A/B list.  That is rude and people will know if they are B listed.

Second, if I RSVP'd for a filet and potatoes and then I get to your wedding and instead there is a buffet I would be confused and possibly irritated because I picked that meal for a reason.

Finally, do not denote anywhere on your invite that you may have a plated meal or a buffet dependant upon the number of RSVPs.  I have been to many a wedding where I didn't know what I was getting fed until it was dinner time.  Sometimes it was a plated meal other times it was a buffet.

Honestly I think you need to just make a decision as to whether to have a buffet or a plated meal now and invite guests accordingly with no B list to fill in the gaps.

Maggie0829

We have 182 people on our invite list plus 17 more on tier 2 that we'd like to invite if we have space.

My venue can accommodate 184 people for a plated meal, but only 152 for a buffet. We would prefer a buffet, but I'm worried that we won't get enough "no"s to be able to invite everyone we want there. Is it incredibly tacky to ask for meal choice on the RSVP as if there will be a plated meal, and then if we get enough "no"s switch it to a buffet? Or, is there any non-committal language we can use on the RSVP card that isn't tacky? Something like "Depending on the number of guests, we may be serving a plated dinner or a buffet, but we would appreciate if you let us know which meal option you would prefer."

JIC

itzMS

Your only option if you want a buffet is to cut your guest list. No, not by tiering it, but by sucking it up and cutting names from the list.

Add this post to the list to support that booking a venue that can't accomodate your guest list is always a bad idea.

Maggie0829

Hmmm, I didn't think my reply was rude at all but good for you for calling us names and breaking the TOS guidelines.

SlothGoals

leasimon said:

Wow, thanks for the completely unhelpful, rude replies. Awesome. I'm going to go ask people who aren't assholes.

None of the replies were rude, or unhelpful. Both Maggie and ItzMs told you how to accommodate all of your guests properly. If you really would prefer a buffet (which is completely your prerogative) then cut your list down to 152 and don't b-list people. 

AddieCake

leasimon said:

Wow, thanks for the completely unhelpful, rude replies. Awesome. I'm going to go ask people who aren't assholes.

WTF? 

Weezy56

What in the world OP. Nobody was rude to you.

JoanE2012

leasimon said:

We have 182 people on our invite list plus 17 more on tier 2 that we'd like to invite if we have space.

My venue can accommodate 184 people for a plated meal, but only 152 for a buffet. We would prefer a buffet, but I'm worried that we won't get enough "no"s to be able to invite everyone we want there. Is it incredibly tacky to ask for meal choice on the RSVP as if there will be a plated meal, and then if we get enough "no"s switch it to a buffet? Or, is there any non-committal language we can use on the RSVP card that isn't tacky? Something like "Depending on the number of guests, we may be serving a plated dinner or a buffet, but we would appreciate if you let us know which meal option you would prefer."

You did it all wrong.  You decide your budget and guest list FIRST, then find a venue that fits the bill.  Then you don't have to be rude and create a B list and you can determine the type of meal you're going to have ahead of time. 

hyechica81

if they can do a plated for 182 but cannot do a buffet for that many people something is wrong here they can only do a buffet for 152 but not 182 it takes more time to plate a meal then to do a buffet.. i would go with the plated and never have a b list its tacky 

itzMS

hyechica81 said:

if they can do a plated for 182 but cannot do a buffet for that many people something is wrong here they can only do a buffet for 152 but not 182 it takes more time to plate a meal then to do a buffet.. i would go with the plated and never have a b list its tacky 

The buffet station and servers (and subsequent lines of people) will take up space where 3 tables would be for a plated meal. It's about capacity/space limitations and has nothing to do with timing.

NOLAbridealmost

This is really not hard....have your cake (commit to a plated dinner and invite 182) OR eat it (commit to buffet and cut your guest list). As the saying goes, you can't have your cake and eat it too. And as for the B list.....another saying comes to mind: Pigs get fed, hogs get slaughtered. Don't do it, OP.