Mother passed, what am I to do?

Risha11612

Not trying to be all emotional but I know there are others that lost their mother, but its very hard for me to be excited knowing mines is no longer around. my mom passed when I was pregnant with my second child and now that I'm engaged it hurts even more. How do you cope with something like this? How do you at least try to be happy and plan your wedding? Last but not least, how do you go wedding dress shopping without her? I always thought my mom would be there to see me walk down the isle. I don't know where to start without being emotional about it. Any advice ladies

MairePoppy

I'm sorry for your loss.

No one can ever replace your mom, but I urge you to find another woman to share the girly stuff. This might be a good way to strengthen your bond with your FMIL. Would she be interested in shopping for your dress with you or helping you get ready the morning of the wedding? You could ask a friend or family member to walk you down the aisle, walk alone or walk with your fi. 

Risha11612

@retreadbride thanks for your sympathy.my father is incarcerated and won't get out till the end of 2015 so that sucks as well. I will eventually find someone but you know I was hoping it would be my mom just like any other bride would want. In time ill get better with coping with her passing but because it was so recent it's hard. Thank for the advice

Risha11612

@mairepoppy me and my mother Inlaw have a great relationship so I know it would not be a problem with her as far as goin dress shopping with me, I'm actually looking forward to that. I think I might ask my grandfather to walk me down the isle we will see. Thank you

MairePoppy

I'm sure your grandfather would be honored.

cbrown828

I am so sorry for both of your losses. I work in a prison and believe having an incarcerated parent would be an incredibly difficult situation. I hope you and your dad are able to adjust well and maintain a good relationship after he releases. I agree with the advice you've previously been given and would just like to add one thing. Don't try to hide or stuff your feelings. If you get sad, allow yourself to feel it instead of putting on the "everything's fine" smile. Lean on those who can support you emotionally through those tough days. You're going through some tough stuff and it is ok to be sad sometimes. Hopefully you have people in your life you will remind of the reasons you have to smile. Hope dress shopping goes well!

SnowWhiteMontreal

I lost my mother when I was 12, so I understand.

You know what I did? I've had her wedding band in my souvenirs box for all these years. It was a HUGE one. So I went to a jeweler and ask him to make two new wedding bands with it. One for my sister and one for me. I'm going to get married with this new wedding band which will kind of make me feel as mommy's with me and will stay close to me forever as I'm going to wear this ring for the rest of my life.

Maybe you could do something similar? I mean, maybe you have a piece of jewelry that belonged to your mother that you can wear on your wedding day or anything else. Some people put little photographs on their bouquet. Some others keep on them something like a hankerchief or a little object that belonged to their loved ones.

As for the girl stuff, my sister lives far from me, so I was all alone to do that stuff. I ordered my dress on the internet... Didn't feel like shopping alone or with someone who isn't as special as mom or sister.