Wedding Etiquette Forum

Hostess Gift Question

Hi ladies,

I am having two smaller showers thrown for me; one, thrown by FMIL, is for her side of the family and the second, thrown by my BFF/MOH, is for my side of the family and my close friends.  I am very grateful and realize how lucky I am to be having these parties!  I have already picked out "like it's their birthday" hostess gifts for FMIL and MOH.  Both showers, however, are being held at the home of somebody other than the hostess.  FMIL's shower, which is Sunday, is being held at her brother's house (a lovely historic home that used to be run as a bed and breakfast) and MOH's shower is being held at her mother's house.  

If you were me, would you also get a small gift for the owner of each home?  I know that preparing a house for guests is very time consuming.  Both home owners are wine drinkers, so a decent bottle of wine would be an easy gift.  My concern is that both FMIL and MOH could have the potential to get offended if they think I am crediting somebody else with their hostessing work.  FMIL is from a large family which still has a lot of competitiveness going on between siblings, and MOH has already mentioned to me a few times that she wishes her mom would stop nagging her about the shower preparations and just let her handle it on her own.  

I am especially concerned with "getting it right" for FMIL's shower because, according to her, her family has been seriously side-eyeing the fact that we registered at WS.  We are both serious cooks so this was a natural choice for us, and we registered for items in a wide variety of price-points, but her family considers WS "uppity."  We have a second registry at BBB that was created primarily because it is more convenient for FI's side of the family, but still, I would hate to add "ungracious" to my possible new "uppity" reputation.  Thanks in advance for any advice!

Re: Hostess Gift Question

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    I think you could send the homeowners a thank you note and bottle of wine after the shower. That way, no one except you and them know about it.
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    I think a bottle of wine and a nice card for extending the use of her home for your shower is a sweet idea.

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    Thank you both!  I'll give the thank you wine and hope for the best.  MA has weird rules about mailing alcohol, but I can try to give it to the homeowners in a low-key, private way.
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    bbbb78bbbb78 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Yes I agree a bottle of wine is totally appropriate

    and if someone is offended by this kind gesture they be cray.
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