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what should i do with my lil sister-in law?!

My fiance has a younger sister who is 10 about to be 11. i put her in my wedding as a space filler, but i forgot one of my friends who is very important to me. so i want to switch them. my mother-in-law wants to make her my flower girl, but my fiance says shes to big, plus i already have someone for that position. so my MNL said something about making her a Jr. Bride. My fiance hates, i repeat, absolutely HATES, this idea. he doesn't want anyone looking like me. (which is kind of sweet) plus to make things worse, my MNL already bought her dress. i have no idea what to do with her. i feel bad for taking her out all together, so I'm trying to give her another job to make her at least feel special. i though of letting her carry my train until i remembered, i don't have a train! please help!

Re: what should i do with my lil sister-in law?!

  • My fiance has a younger sister who is 10 about to be 11. i put her in my wedding as a space filler, but i forgot one of my friends who is very important to me. so i want to switch them. my mother-in-law wants to make her my flower girl, but my fiance says shes to big, plus i already have someone for that position. so my MNL said something about making her a Jr. Bride. My fiance hates, i repeat, absolutely HATES, this idea. he doesn't want anyone looking like me. (which is kind of sweet) plus to make things worse, my MNL already bought her dress. i have no idea what to do with her. i feel bad for taking her out all together, so I'm trying to give her another job to make her at least feel special. i though of letting her carry my train until i remembered, i don't have a train! please help!
    JIC.

    No no no no no! How rude!
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  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2013
    My fiance has a younger sister who is 10 about to be 11. i put her in my wedding as a space filler, but i forgot one of my friends who is very important to me. so i want to switch them. my mother-in-law wants to make her my flower girl, but my fiance says shes to big, plus i already have someone for that position. so my MNL said something about making her a Jr. Bride. My fiance hates, i repeat, absolutely HATES, this idea. he doesn't want anyone looking like me. (which is kind of sweet) plus to make things worse, my MNL already bought her dress. i have no idea what to do with her. i feel bad for taking her out all together, so I'm trying to give her another job to make her at least feel special. i though of letting her carry my train until i remembered, i don't have a train! please help!
    Well this is a stupid question, why can't you have your FI sister AND your friend in your WP?  Don't kick her out or re-designate her.  That's horrible.  Ask your friend, leave your FSIL as a BM.

    I french with my man
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  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 The Witch City member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    My fiance has a younger sister who is 10 about to be 11. i put her in my wedding as a space filler, but i forgot one of my friends who is very important to me. so i want to switch them. my mother-in-law wants to make her my flower girl, but my fiance says shes to big, plus i already have someone for that position. so my MNL said something about making her a Jr. Bride. My fiance hates, i repeat, absolutely HATES, this idea. he doesn't want anyone looking like me. (which is kind of sweet) plus to make things worse, my MNL already bought her dress. i have no idea what to do with her. i feel bad for taking her out all together, so I'm trying to give her another job to make her at least feel special. i though of letting her carry my train until i remembered, i don't have a train! please help!
    I don't understand this, I always thought a Jr. Bridesmaid was just a (made up) title for girls younger than say, 16, that were bridesmaids, not that they were minitures of the bride.

     

  • I'm agree with @kjhowd. I have never heard of a mini-bride either. 
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  • Where the fuck did my gif go? I am not searching for another.

     

    But really, I hope you tell your FI you've referred to his sister as "space filler."  If you haven't please do so.  Then let us know how that went.

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  • bbbb78bbbb78 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    @kjhowd

    i have seen miniature brides, but i'd heard them referred to as "junior brides" not junior bridesmaids.  and the place i saw them was on the television show bridezillas so obviously they are essential to a high class affair.
    AllieBear725wittykitty14buddysmom80
  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 The Witch City member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    @bbbb78 - I have heard of the term "mini-bride" before and I think it's really creepy; but Jr. BM was a different thing all together.

    Do not quote me on this and I don't know which ones, but somewhere in my brain I think mini/Jr. Bride is a cultural thing.

    It is completely tacky to call her "space filler". 

     

  • libby2483libby2483 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2013
    You put her in your wedding as a space filler? Seriously? How thoughtful of you.

    You asked her to be in your WP, and now you need to honor that.  It would be really rude to ask her to step down or change roles.  You can also ask your friend, as your sides do not need to be even.  But I question how important to you this friend really is if you forgot to include her in the first place.

    And, personally, I think that miniature brides are a bit on the creepy side.  I understand that they are a tradition in some cultures, and in that case, I completely understand having a miniature bride, even though it still wouldn't be my personal preference.  However, if this is not a part of your culture (which it sounds like it isn't based on your FI's reaction), I would skip it.  My sister was a miniature bride once at my cousin's wedding in the '90s, and it was seriously odd.  My other cousin was the ring bearer, and his mom had to pay him off to walk down the aisle with my sister, as he was convinced that everyone would think they were getting married to each other.  It was weird.

  • OP, please leave your FSIL as a BM, and ask your friend too.  It's completely ok to have an uneven number of BMs/GM. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Just have both your FSIL and your friend as "bridesmaids."  No "space fillers" (ugh), no "junior bridesmaids."  And tell your FMIL to return the "junior bride" dress (or better, have it "trashed").
  • My fiance has a younger sister who is 10 about to be 11. i put her in my wedding as a space filler, but i forgot one of my friends who is very important to me. so i want to switch them. my mother-in-law wants to make her my flower girl, but my fiance says shes to big, plus i already have someone for that position. so my MNL said something about making her a Jr. Bride. My fiance hates, i repeat, absolutely HATES, this idea. he doesn't want anyone looking like me. (which is kind of sweet) plus to make things worse, my MNL already bought her dress. i have no idea what to do with her. i feel bad for taking her out all together, so I'm trying to give her another job to make her at least feel special. i though of letting her carry my train until i remembered, i don't have a train! please help!
    1)  How nice of you.  Please share this with your future mother in law.

    2)  Apparently.
  • LakeR2014LakeR2014 member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2013
    I was in my brother and sister-in-laws wedding and there was a 'junior bridesmaid' with us.  She was 11.  She wore the same dress as us, but with straps and a little higher on the chest area.   I highly recommend this for your FSIL.   DO NOT, ABSOLUTELY DO NOT remove her from your wedding.  How unclassy that would be and devastating to her.   No one will notice an uneven bridal party, but if you remove her, everyone will know that you did, and they'll know throughout your wedding.
    HisGirlFriday13
  • Don't make her a junior bride because that's seriously fucking creepy, and don't make her a junior bridesmaid. Let her be a bridesmaid, no stupid "junior" title necessary.

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Leave her a bridesmaid.  If you want the other girl, ask her to.

    You need to really adjust how you think about people.  If your FI finds out that you would ever consider treating her the way you mention in your post, he'll be running for the hills.  That's not how you treat people you love.  
    NYCMercedesHisGirlFriday13
  • Ok I just googled junior bride and ewwwwwww.  Creeptastic!  Don't do that to this poor child.  Leave her in as a bridesmaid and make your "forgotten" friend one also if you want.  Although what kind of friend is she if you forgot her?  Has anyone else wondered that?
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  • Oh, holy hell. You put her in as a SPACE FILLER?! You do realize that removing her from your wedding will FOREVER scar her, mar your relationship with her, your FMIL, and their relationship with your FI, right? You get that this is the height of unforgivable, unexcusable rudeness?

    Also, whomever you just remembered cannot have been that important, or you would have thought of her from the beginning.

    Keep her in, call her a junior bridesmaid if that pleases your symmetry and aesthetic, dress her in whatever your FMIL has already bought her, and try to think how completely crushed she would be to find out that you only consider her a space-filler and not a beloved member of your future family.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    jlm9113 said:
    Wow.


    Ditto.



  • This is your FI's sister! Leave her in and have uneven sides.
  • jlm9113jlm9113 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Viczaesar said:

    jlm9113 said:
    Wow.


    Ditto.

    I know my reply wasn't helpful in the least but it was really all I had.
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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    My fiance has a younger sister who is 10 about to be 11. i put her in my wedding as a space filler, but i forgot one of my friends who is very important to me. so i want to switch them. my mother-in-law wants to make her my flower girl, but my fiance says shes to big, plus i already have someone for that position. so my MNL said something about making her a Jr. Bride. My fiance hates, i repeat, absolutely HATES, this idea. he doesn't want anyone looking like me. (which is kind of sweet) plus to make things worse, my MNL already bought her dress. i have no idea what to do with her. i feel bad for taking her out all together, so I'm trying to give her another job to make her at least feel special. i though of letting her carry my train until i remembered, i don't have a train! please help!
    First, your fiance apparently has a brain, that's good. Second, you have serious memory problems. Third, you don't give people jobs to make them feel special. Fourth, "letting" someone carry your train is not an honor.

    Wow.



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  • Weezy56Weezy56 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    What da fuq??

    [Deleted User]
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