Snarky Brides

Do I have the right?

I'm getting married in July. I've been planning the wedding for about 2 years already. I have this friend who found out that is pregnant back in January. She states that "her mother and mother-in-law" have planned her baby shower on my wedding day. Her husband is part of our wedding party. I'm upset about this because she had known about the wedding for months. I don't believe for one second that her "mother and mother-in-law" put her baby shower on my wedding day when she is a grown adult. She could have said something to the lines of, "I'm busy that day" or "My friend is getting married on that day". Do I have the right to be upset about this. She isn't even due until October!!! She also has the guts to ask if she can come late to the reception after her baby shower. I don't even want to be around her. Do I have a right to be angry about this? How in the world do I answer her question without sounding like a bridezilla? I know that we aren't the best of friends but really? What do I tell her? FYI- my sister ran into her at the store the other day and my friend stated that she was sorry her baby shower was on my wedding day but "I' don't really see the big deal here because my husband will still be allowed to go". How do I go about fixing this without being snarky?

Re: Do I have the right?

  • There's not a lot you can do to "fix it," but I think you can still manage to be friends if that is important to you. I can understand being a little peeved, but to me this is not a hill worth dying on. You never know; just as many brides schedule their weddings around certain VIPs, she may have had to cater to family/friends who were only available that day. Have your pity party, privately, be OK with her coming to the reception a little late, and let it go.
  • mercimariemercimarie member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited May 2013
    Gosh that sounds like a yucky situation. No one can tell you of you have the "right" to be upset over something, because no one else will feel the way you do about it. I think perhaps taking a moment or two, to remember what's really important about your wedding day will help. Her husband is in your wedding party, so it matters that he's there, and he is coming, right? And if she comes late to the reception or even not at all, will it spoil your wonderful day with your husband and other guests, who all care heaps about you? I hope not! :-) Try not to let it get the best of you. My mum always said "don't let the sun go down on your anger" ie, feel it and then let it go. If you're still struggling with your disappointment and hurt (which is probably what it is, more than anger), perhaps you could tell her so, but I bet once you have a couple days to think on it, you'll find it's not so bad. Hope this has helped :).

    ETA: try to remember that other people have busy lives and schedules too. I've been guilty of forgetting it myself and sometimes a little perspective is just what the doctor ordered.
  • nswearensweare member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    If it makes you feel an better think of it as one less baby shower you will feel obligated to attend. Those things are a snooze-fest. Never enough booze and boring games. You dodged a bullet by it being scheduled on your wedding day.
  • edited May 2013
    You can be momentarily upset, but the level of anger you're feeling seems a bit much. She's having a baby- that's a HUGE life event for her, and MORE important than your wedding (no matter how long you've been planning). 

    Will her husband still be coming to the wedding? You definitely should accept her offer to show up after the baby shower, since you've obviously already invited her. To remove your invitation now would be rude.

    ETA: I see her husband is going to your wedding. So really, if you "aren't the best of friends" why are you so upset? Let her join her husband at your wedding after her baby shower.
  • I can see being upset.  I think my feelings would be hurt too.  As long as her husband is still going to be able to make it for pics before the wedding (if you're doing that), I think it's okay.  Let her come later.  And I do agree about dodging a bullet by not having to attend her shower.  I hate baby showers.  
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards