Hi everyone, (hope I indicated this right.. is my repeat post from Wedding Party)
Sorry I am gonna rant but truly cant talk to anyone about this!!!! I am so terribly hurt for my FI!!!!!!
history: I have 3 brothers and my FI has none. One of the things that my FI feels very strongly about is how he
considers my brothers HIS brothers, because he has none, and really
looks forward to their brotherly relationships. He has already asked my
brothers to be his groomsmen.
With one of my brothers he felt an
immediate connection with because they both are Christian musicians and
Pastors. Last year, this brother "G" expressed the desire to move back
by us, his family, from out of state. Since my FI had a big house all to
himself he invited "G" to room with him. He accepted. They both thought
it was a great idea. The plan was that my FI would mentor my brother at
church and hopefully, eventually "G" could fill in for my FI to take
some time off here and there. They also thought it would give them great
opportunities to write and record music together. After several months,
"G" decided to make the move!
Unfortunately, within those
months, my FI 2 homes were thrown on his "divorce" table. (He was
tangled up in the divorce from hell for 1.5 yrs) My FI decided to let
his ex buy him out of their "rental" property. The house he was living
in since their split.yrs. Because "G"
had already made the decision to move back, and had given his employer
notice, he went forth with it and moved in with our mother. (last May)
past year, both my FI and "G" have spent time together here and there,
playing music, playing at church and just hanging out. In other words,
all seemed great!!! Well, 2 weeks ago "G" called me with complaints
about my FI. How FI didnt send him music that he was suppose to send!
How FI doesnt return his calls all the time...or his texts. I listened
with an open mind. Its true, my FI doesnt always return calls or texts
immediately. He works very hard and sometimes crazy hours within his
church. He also has gigs outside of church on the weekends. Whereas my
brother hasnt worked in about 3 months because he hurt his back.
as not emailing "G" the music he "promised" I am positive it slipped his
mind. "G" also complained that my FI wasnt doing the mentor thing with
him at church for the last 3 months and wasnt inviting him to play. (My
FI stopped inviting him because my brother, several times, accepted the
invite and without notice didnt show up for the church service where he was needed. We would hear from him days
later with different reasons for his absence) After he complained about
my FI not mentoring him, he acknowledged that he wasnt coming because he
had no gas or toll money but lied to us because he was embarrassed BUT then
still continued to complain!!
Every complaint was followed with "
I know hes a nice guy and
wouldnt mean to intentially hurt anyone..." THEN my brother went into
the "roommate" situation. He complained that it didnt work out and how
he is now stuck living with our mother, who is a very mean woman! (true)
The crazy thing was he had a "disclaimer" before, during and after the
complaints! All making his complaints non valid!!! "I know he gave up
the house in his divorce and that is whats best for him and the
situation but..." I ended up telling my brother that I was sorry he felt
this way and that Id hope he would see how FI values and cares for him
with his gesture of asking him to be GM. He said he did.
Its my brothers response to this that is killing me.
"G" told me that he was shocked that my FI asked him to be his GM and
that the only reason he said yes was because of me and that as long as
Im happy, so is he!!!! OMG!!!! My heart immediately was crushed!!!! All I
could manage to say was "thank you" but what I really wanted to say was
"Ummm...dont do him any favors and back the hell out!"
Of course I havent repeated
any of this to my FI. It would crush him. Especially because this is the
brother he feels closest to! I need your advice! I dont know what to
think of it all but pissy things!!! I am really hurt for my FI. Im am
angry at my brother for his petty [email protected]
%$^! I cant stand the thought of
walking that aisle to my FI and seeing my brother up there beside him!!
Who wants fake??? I dont do fake well!! I just dont know how to process
Im too close it it, so Im hoping outsiders can show me some clarity! Thank you all for your time.