*Guests who have not r.s.v.p'd*

JMalettas

Good evening ladies!

 

 Our date to have the r.s.v.p returned was for May1, (almost 4 weeks ago). A few different areas of the wedding require us to have a guest count to them earlier than the norm, so we had to send out the invites slightly earlier than you normally would. We have 6 people who have not r.s.v.p'd, that we've tried calling, and left voicemails with, who have not returned our calls. (We called 2 weeks after the due date, then again a full week later). What do you think I should do in this situation? Should I mark these 6 guests as 'not attending.' Or should I keep trying to contact them? I don't know! :P Lol. I don't see what's so hard about returning an r.s.v.p, or if not, a phone call. I don't want to be bothering these people, but at the same time, I just want to move forward with what we have left to do! What do you ladies think??

*J

MyNameIsNot

JMalettas said:

Good evening ladies!

 

 Our date to have the r.s.v.p returned was for May1, (almost 4 weeks ago). A few different areas of the wedding require us to have a guest count to them earlier than the norm, so we had to send out the invites slightly earlier than you normally would. We have 6 people who have not r.s.v.p'd, that we've tried calling, and left voicemails with, who have not returned our calls. (We called 2 weeks after the due date, then again a full week later). What do you think I should do in this situation? Should I mark these 6 guests as 'not attending.' Or should I keep trying to contact them? I don't know! :P Lol. I don't see what's so hard about returning an r.s.v.p, or if not, a phone call. I don't want to be bothering these people, but at the same time, I just want to move forward with what we have left to do! What do you ladies think??

*J

When is the wedding?  It's rude to ask people to RSVP more than a month in advance.  Since your RSVP date was 4 weeks ago, it sounds like that's your problem.  (You're also going to have a lot of inaccurate RSVPs, but there's nothing you can do about that.)  

Nonetheless, what's done is done.  Call them one last time, within a few weeks of the wedding, and ask for an RSVP.  If you have to leave a voicemail, say "I was just calling to find out whether you'd be attending the wedding.  We need to get final numbers to our caterers.  If we haven't heard back from you by tomorrow, we'll going to have to mark you as a no."  If you don't hear back, mark them as no.  

You need to give them fair warning before you mark them as no.  You have no idea if their RSVP or invitation was lost in the mail.  You can't assume they just didn't return it.  

misssunshine17

Make one more warning call saying that if you don't hear from them in in two days, you'll have to mark them as a no. 

AJuliaNJ

When is your wedding?

lyndausvi

I would call the 6 people and tell them if you do not hear from them in a few days then you will assume they are not coming.

NYCMercedes

Count them out. I was told over and over that three people were coming by FMIL, who were no-shows. Turns out, not only did they not RSVP, they never responded to her emails, voicemails, or texts. Costs me $600 because she was "sure". If they can't gather enough energy to reply, they sure aren't going to put any effort into attending.

AJuliaNJ

My answer really depends on the wedding date. I wish TK still displayed that. You said you sent the invites out slightly earlier than usual. Does that mean at 9 weeks instead of 8? Or is it more like you sent them out 4 months in advance?

If your wedding is like 2 weeks away, I would just write them off as no. You made multiple attempts. There's no reason they couldn't reply 4 weeks after the RSVP date if they want to come. 

If you sent the invitations super early you should wait until closer to the wedding and follow up one more time. Many people are not comfortable RSVP'ing until they know for sure.

JMalettas

Thanks ladies for all of your responses.

Our wedding is 2 months from now, and was 3 months at the r.s.v.p due date. I totally know this is early, but definitely not as early as I'm getting from some of your posts. The 'norm' where we're from is usually returning them at 2 months left. I don't think I've ever got a wedding invite much closer to a wedding than that. We can't change our guest numbers for the dinner after 6 weeks prior to the wedding, which means we have about 2 and a 1/2 weeks from now left. A few of my girlfriends have mentioned that you end up getting a lot of people who don't respond by the set due date, so I sent them out a little earlier, so the slower responders had a little extra time to get them back. I would just think after leaving 2 voicemails, these guests would have responded in some way. Even if it's a 'I think it's too early to know for sure' response. I think what I may do, as a couple of you mentioned, is maybe wait a few days, then give them one last call. If I don't hear back at all by my deadline in 2 and a 1/2 weeks, I'll have to mark them as 'not attending.' I'm pretty sure 4 of the 6 won't be attending anyways, but I obviously wouldn't want to just assume either. Hopefully, I'll just be receiving a few calls soon! :P

QueerFemme

JMalettas said:

Thanks ladies for all of your responses.

Our wedding is 2 months from now, and was 3 months at the r.s.v.p due date. I totally know this is early, but definitely not as early as I'm getting from some of your posts. The 'norm' where we're from is usually returning them at 2 months left. I don't think I've ever got a wedding invite much closer to a wedding than that. We can't change our guest numbers for the dinner after 6 weeks prior to the wedding, which means we have about 2 and a 1/2 weeks from now left. A few of my girlfriends have mentioned that you end up getting a lot of people who don't respond by the set due date, so I sent them out a little earlier, so the slower responders had a little extra time to get them back. I would just think after leaving 2 voicemails, these guests would have responded in some way. Even if it's a 'I think it's too early to know for sure' response. I think what I may do, as a couple of you mentioned, is maybe wait a few days, then give them one last call. If I don't hear back at all by my deadline in 2 and a 1/2 weeks, I'll have to mark them as 'not attending.' I'm pretty sure 4 of the 6 won't be attending anyways, but I obviously wouldn't want to just assume either. Hopefully, I'll just be receiving a few calls soon! :P

There is no way that an rsvp 2 months in advance of the event is normal.  No matter where you live.  Even a month is early in some cases, but you asked for 3?  That was beyond ridiculous.

Invitations should go out between 6-8 weeks prior the wedding. the RSVP date should be 2-4 weeks prior the wedding. If your caterer was demanding 6 weeks, you should have found a different caterer, or negotiated for a guaranteed minimum.

Not only are you not likely to hear from the few that you haven't heard from, but you can most likely count on a good amount of no-shows by the time the wedding rolls around.

marissaanne27

I believe the question was what to do if people did not RSVP not if what you did was proper or not. My recommendations... if they have facebook send them a message you can tell if they read it and are just ignoring you or simply didnt read it. Reach out to people that speak to them on a regular basis, or ask from help from your mother or fmil, depending on which side its on. I can understand how frustrating this can be. My FI uncle lives in AZ and told us he will not be attending our wedding due to work when we asked if his son could be a ring bearer. We sent our invitations out a month ago and he has yet to reply. Im not marking anyone yes or no until I get that card in my hands just in case something changes. I honestly for the sake of your wallet would not mark them either way until you hear something from someone. Good Luck!