is this completely absurd?

bbbb78

good morning everybody!

i feel the need to run this by folks at TK, because after discussing some potential plans for my friend's upcoming bachelorette party with the MOH (who also happens to be my sister) i found myself rather dumbfounded.

my sister's best friend (who is also a dear friend of mine) is getting married this fall and my sister is her MOH.  the bride is one of the first in the friend group to be getting married so i don't think they have a standard of what is normal to go from.  i was discussing plans for a bachelorette party with my sister because if possible i would like to attend.  i make decent money, but get a little less than two weeks vacation time per year so I wanted to make sure I had a few vacation days budgeted in case I needed to take a day or so off for the bachelorette party, shower or wedding.  everything is out of town so this seemed like reasonable planning (bride and groom are originally from NC where the wedding is located, bride groom and MOH all live in CA currently and I live in the midwest where we all went to college together).

now i was thinking there would be like a wine tasting overnight affair or something along those lines near the wedding itself or perhaps something in CA further in advance from the wedding.  my sister went on to tell me that they were trying to plan the bachelorette party in disneyworld in orlando florida for a day or two during the week before the wedding (all at the bride's request... she's kind of a princess type who is fairly oblivious to practical matters.  i love her tremendously, but when she and my sister go into fantasy mode things can get pretty out of hand).

am i nuts or is that completely ridiculous??  the rest of the friend group is scattered in various locations around the country.  to make matters MORE complicated the weekend BEFORE my friend's wedding everybody is going to be closer to where i live for ANOTHER wedding.  effectively the plan is, attend wedding #1 in michigan go to disneyworld during the week and attend wedding #2 in north carolina.  all the while eschewing male SO's for the disneyworld excursion since it is the bachelorette party.  my plan had been to drive to NC with SO for the wedding and now my sister suggests I just add booking a roundtrip flight to florida midway through the week.

this post was mostly something of a vent, but i also just want to make sure i'm not the one being insane here (because my sister sure seemed to think so).

i'm honestly guessing this whole plan will get scrapped eventually due to how ridiculously impractical it is, but i wouldn't put it past them to start booking things in orlando without considering the fact that nobody is going to be there.  do you guys think i should say something preemptively besides "it sounds like a blast, but it's really unlikely i'll be able to be there." ?  it just seems more like a disaster waiting to happen.  do you think there is a tactful way i can give them a reality check or should i just leave it alone and let them lie in the bed they make for themselves?

 

calliopeia2013

You're totally right; that plan is insane.  I mean, maybe I just have a workaholic circle of friends, but even the idea of having a b-party any time other than a weekend sounds completely nuts to me.  I don't know anyone who would take time off work to go to a destination b-party in the middle of the week.  That's just crazy.  Especially not the week before the wedding, when it would interfere with whatever travel plans you've got in place.

I think it would be a very good idea to tell your sister at this point that if they're going ahead with this plan, you won't be able to be there (and therefore to not count on your contribution towards hotel rooms and so forth).

lifesad4nce

Completely insane.  This sounds more like a bachelorette VACATION (with time off and flights and length of stay) than bachelorette party.

Maggie0829

Just let your sister know that if the plans stay as the currently are that you unfortunately will not be able to attend and then just let things go however they will go.

I mean I can kind of see their thinking.  "Oh lets just spend a day or two at Disney World two days prior to the wedding because that will only involve people getting there 2 days earlier."  In their minds it sounds like a good plan but on paper it isn't.  Like you I am sure others have to work and may not have the money nor the leave to take additional days off.  And what about the bride?  I don't know about anyone else but the week leading up to the wedding I was busy with not only going to work but finishing up last minute wedding stuff.  The last thing I would have needed or wanted was two days at an amusement park.

So tell them you can't make it and just sit back and wait for the plans to inevitably change.

bbbb78

Maggie0829 said:

Just let your sister know that if the plans stay as the currently are that you unfortunately will not be able to attend and then just let things go however they will go.

I mean I can kind of see their thinking.  "Oh lets just spend a day or two at Disney World two days prior to the wedding because that will only involve people getting there 2 days earlier."  In their minds it sounds like a good plan but on paper it isn't.  Like you I am sure others have to work and may not have the money nor the leave to take additional days off.  And what about the bride?  I don't know about anyone else but the week leading up to the wedding I was busy with not only going to work but finishing up last minute wedding stuff.  The last thing I would have needed or wanted was two days at an amusement park.

So tell them you can't make it and just sit back and wait for the plans to inevitably change.

yes for one i think it's a ridiculous idea because i think the bride is going to find herself going BSC trying to travel that much the week leading up to her wedding.  i would get the logic of tacking on a couple days before the wedding if it was happening remotely close to where the wedding was going to be but it is happening about a 10 hour drive away from disney!  it just seems like total insanity for everyone involved.

like you say i think it will probably work itself out due to the unimaginable impracticality... i just can't imagine ANYONE would be able to accept such an invitation.  hopefully they figure that out before they waste too much time or money.