Wedding Etiquette Forum

XP: Update on my cousin with the "indigo" mystery child

If you remember.. 


My cousin (the one with the 2 or 3 kids, whoknows!) called me today, I dont talk to her like that.. so it was weird, and she left a 1 min voicemail, so that was even more weird. So I finally check it, and its her calling for my grandma, she appearnly lost her rsvp card, but she mustve "forgot" she mailed it with my dads, it had her handwritting. Anyhow, she was proclaiming her attendance with "3 guests and that I should call her back to get her final headcount"

I was pretty floored to be honest. Livid. and Luckily at work so I could only text back. I responded to my cousin and told her we cant accommodate her "3" kids and that we cant accommodate my grandmas 3 guests. It then goes into this whole text thing, "oh my kids arent invited? theyre going to be hurt" I had to find calmness in me to explain that our budget and capacity cant accommodate. She says she isnt going to come if they cant go. Fine with me. She pauses, and calls my SISTER (who isnt paying for anything) to complain. and texts me back saying if anyone declines she wants to bring them. I said ill keep them in mind, but we only have 1 decline so far. 

And later, I was talking to my sister about what she was saying to her.. Apparently she was complaining because "This is a black wedding I dont know why shes being like this." Im sorry, but my race (Fi is white) does not define anything about me and my fiances celebration.. Like does that mean our wedding is going to be like a family reunion where everyone anyone in my family has known is invited or can just bring anyone??  WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! 

And now, my grandma is next to deal with. 

and the clear things up, Fi and my parents are going half on EVERYTHING. my parents dont want to spend extra money. My parents arent telling me what to do "its your wedding, do what you want". 

Re: XP: Update on my cousin with the "indigo" mystery child

  • "I'm sorry, we are not able to accommodate extra guests". Lather, rinse, repeat. Sorry you're dealing with this OP. These people sounded klassy enough and then they brought your race into it (as if that has anything to do with this). Not worth another minute of your time.
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  • I actually had someone who originally declined be able to make it at the last minute. We were happy to have him, and since his wife had already rsvp'd "yes", I would have felt really awkward having to say "sorry, we let someone else fill your spot". I realize you have no intention of doing this, just a good point as to why you shouldn't let her "we'll take the empty seats" argument fly.

     

    Good luck!

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  • @liatris @harry. I tihnk i just realized the indigo kid is the mother. She got it from her mom, who got it from her mother as well. though, they probably arent indigo children/people they are extremely entitled and rude when they dont get what I want.. I cant believe we're related. 

    But I can tell the situation isnt over. I just cant even handle it. Oh well, i cant accomodate children who are old enough to watch themselves and not other family who have 3 year olds or so that arent invited. 
    oh well, shoulders have been dusted. 

  • "I'm sorry, we are not able to accommodate extra guests". Lather, rinse, repeat. Sorry you're dealing with this OP. These people sounded klassy enough and then they brought your race into it (as if that has anything to do with this). Not worth another minute of your time.
    This. You don't owe her any explanations (size of venue, cost, etc.) and anything you do tell her she might use against you to leverage her special children (and their friend? or whoever the third guest is?) into getting invited somehow.
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  • missax said:
    Yikes! My FI just asked me today if the Indigo child post had any updates. He's usually not too interested when I start rambling about the knot but he was very much interested in this. 

    Don't share the number of declines with her at all, even if she asks. I'd just say "I don't know" then move on.
    My fiance loved the indigo child story, too! We just bought a house and whenever we find something annoying that wasn't cleaned or repaired properly he makes a snarky comment about how the previous homeowner was probably too busy nurturing her indigo children to deal with it. Makes me laugh every time.  
  • This is a different indigo child poster than the 8-year-old with the 'boyfriend' who simply must be able to attend the wedding as well.

    I can't believe we have two of them!
  • OMG, I didn't realize they were different OPs. I work in education and it's crazy to me how much people kid their kid the benefit of the doubt and let them run all over them. Eeek. n
  • Two?! I need to find the first indigo kid post!!


    Sorry for the confusion!
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