Wedding Etiquette Forum

Who is typically responsible (both creatively & financially) for the bachelorette party? The shower?

Thanks
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Re: Who is typically responsible (both creatively & financially) for the bachelorette party? The shower?

  • misshart00misshart00 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2013
    Whoever decides they want to throw it. I guess I'm not getting why you're asking.
  • Whoever decides they want to throw it. I guess I'm not getting why you're asking.
    Yep, the person/people that offer to throw them for you.
  • Gypsy79Gypsy79 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Yeah whoever throws the party pays for it.   Are you trying to throw your own?
    Cleaning up unicorn messes!
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  • Generally bridesmaids will throw the bachelorette and bridesmaids/aunts/FMIL/close family friends throw the shower. 

    Things to keep in mind:
    - pre-wedding events are not the "responsibility" of anyone i.e. it's nice if someone offers, but if they don't you can't really ask for one or throw one for yourself - reasoning: asking for one or throwing one for yourself is considered tacky since it comes off like you're asking for presents (even if that wasn't your intention)
    - anyone invited to pre-wedding parties has to be invited to the wedding
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  • From what I can tell, OP is a bridesmaid. My guess is that the bride is telling her that its her responsibility to throw one.
  • I am one of 3 bridesmaids.
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  • If you want, you can offer to throw her one, but it is not necessary if you can't or don't want to. If you decide to, I think it's ok to ask the other bridesmaids if they want to contribute.
  • edited May 2013
    I am one of 3 bridesmaids.
    You can offer to throw these parties for the bride if you want, but it's not your "responsibility" to do so. If you offer to throw it, you finance and creatively design it. You would send out invites and organize everything. If you're planning to do it and need help, there's a moms and BM's board and a budget board that has a lot of good ideas.

    ETA - If you're thinking about offering to host a shower, I would find out if anyone else has offered.
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  • It's the responsibility of whoever throws it, but you aren't obligated to throw one.  I'm on here as a bride, but am also a BM in a September wedding for one of my BM's.  Me and the other BMs are throwing a tea party themed shower with her aunt and mom, and we split up the costs by assigning things: the girl hosting at her house is making some finger foods, another BM doing invites, another bringing cookies, another some games, I'm bringing lots of teas, her mom a cake, etc.  Also for etiquette clarity, the mom isn't throwing it since that's inappropriate, she just wanted to be involved so we included her.  We are doing her b-party a little differently since things aren't as close to equal in cost, but that's not to say they couldn't have been if we'd planned something a little different for that.

    Do find out if someone else has offered to host before you throw either kind, and collaborate with the other girls if they want to be involved.
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