Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

name change--the hassle?

I'm debating about whether or not to change my last name when I get married.  I know someone else had asked about what hassle there would be for NOT changing one's last name, but I just wanted to ask about what the hassle is if I DO change my last name.  I think I might like to take on my husband's last name when I get married, but the hassle involved in changing my name is discouraging me.  I'm not sure if all the hassle is worth it for the name change (even though my fiance said he does have a preference for me to change my name when I get married--although he would understand if I choose not to).

Let's see, so I'd have to go to Social Security to change my name there (after showing them my marriage license)--wait a couple hours in line there, then make an appointment with the DMV to change my name on my driver's license and purchase a new license--wait another couple hours in line there, then go to each and every bank where I have an account and change my name there...  And then I have to change my name at work and how I sign my name and initials there.  What else am I missing?  The problem is, I work a day shift job Monday through Friday, so unless I take additional time off from work, I doubt that I'd be able to get the name change done.  I guess that I could try to get all my name change appointments done on the day after I get back from my honeymoon (so request one additional day off from work, on top of what I've already requested), but I don't know if that is enough time.  If I take a couple hours off from work here and there on different days after I get back from my honeymoon, I might be able to get it done, but it is hard to request time off from work that way.  Plus, I'd probably prefer not to request additional time off from work to get this done.

Anyway, does anyone have any thoughts or advice about this?  If possible, I think I'd prefer to change my name, but don't want to go through the hassle.  So I don't know what to do.  If I don't change my name, I fear I may regret it later--plus I think I'd like to honor my fiance by taking on his name.  But my fiance said he does understand if I choose not to change my name if it is too much of a hassle.

Re: name change--the hassle?

  • I didn't change mine.  It didn't have anything to do with the hassle, but I knew changing my professional license and changing the name people had professionally known me by would be the big pain.

    My sister got married two weeks ago.  Her name change was finalized within a week.  She did the SS office in under an hour and only an hour or so with the DMV.  With her bank and other accounts, she was able to fax her new DL for the change without having to go anywhere.  In the grand scheme of things, a few hours out of your life shouldn't really play into such an important decision.  

    Another thing to consider, there's no rule that you have to do the legal part right away.  You can start using his name socially and informally immediately, and put off the legal for as long as you like.  I know a woman that didn't get around to going to the SS office until she'd been married 15+ years.  (Moving abroad was her final catalyst.)  Plenty of people hold off on the legal for a while or even forever.  You don't have to get to it immediately.  
  • Certain places (I think almost everything except Social Security and DMV) will let you change your name online. If you need to go in to change it, maybe you could swap shifts with a coworker.
  • I mailed in all of my SS stuff. Got it back in about a week. My drivers license wasn't a big deal. Only waited in line for a little while (that will depend which one you go to). In OK, it was only $10 to update it, so not a big deal. For my bank, I just had to show them my marriage license when I went in one day. I think you could do that on your lunch break if it's close. I don't think you should make this decision based in convenience though. Make sure it's what you really want to do either way.
  • I really didn't find it to be that big of a hassle to change it. I agree with MissHart. Do it or don't do it b/c you do or do not want to change your name, not b/c you might have to wait in a couple lines. 




    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • How many places do you bank with, anyway? There was no line at SS or the DMV when I went, so I waited less than 15 minutes total. I changed all my credit cards with a few quick phone calls; they confirmed my security details, changed the name, and mailed me new cards. This is really not the massive undertaking you're making it out to be, though of course changing or not is ultimately up to you. Some women keep their maiden and just use the married name socially without changing any documentation.
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  • Its really not much of a hassle at all. I went to ssa and was in and out in 10 minutes. You can even mail your application in. Most dmvs have one day with extended hours (the ones by me anyway.) Banking, credit cards, utilities, etc...can be done online or over the phone.
    IMHO, your post makes you sound incredibly lazy. I mean, you say you want to change your name but you might not because of the legwork involved???
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  • *Shrug* It was less work than buying a house, and most likely will last longer. You don't have to do it all at once, but I got it done in an afternoon.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • I find it odd that people decide on whether or not to change their name based on the "hassle" of the name changing process.

    You do realize that you do not have to change everything all at once.  You can take your time and do things when you can.  Just get the important crap out of the way first (ie SSO, DMV, bank, work, insurance) and even that isn't a ZOMG rush.  Everything else can get done later.  Heck I have been married for almost 2 years and still have plenty of CCs in my maiden name.  The CC companies couldn't care less because all they care about is that the damn bill is being paid (same with 90% of my other bills).


  • Once I got my marriage license I stopped at the DMV (in Ohio you have to DMV first then SS), luckily for me they have one night a week they are open later plus Saturdays. I went on one of the nights they were opened later, in and out in 20 minutes, possibly less. For the vehicle registration they did that when my tags were up. For the title of my car the State of Ohio won't change my name, I have to have a copy of marriage license with title when I sell car. I did have to take time off for Social Security office. I was there before the doors opened, got my number was done in about 30-45 minutes total.

    Utilities and credit cards, I just called and did over the phone. Luckily our banks are near my office so I just stopped by there during my lunch and showed them my new license and they made the name change. Again 5-10 minutes each.

    For work, yes there was paperwork involved, but I did that on company time so not a big deal.

    Is there some work involved, yes. But I am so proud to use my husband's name, it was worth it to me.

  • I'm with Missheart, get the Ssa paperwork in the mail. That is less stressful than going to the physical Ssa office. The DMV and banks I would recommend doing in person. The only part that takes a long time is waiting on the mail and waiting in line at the DMV. (Mine takes 4 hrs. And 25 to 30 bucks.) Good luck deciding.
  • Aside from the fact that's it's a lot less stressful than you're making it out, there's no time limit. You can change stuff whenever you like. The only thing you should have done quickly is your passport. Everything else you can wait. I just changed my name officially at the doctor's office, over a year after our wedding.

  • Aside from the fact that's it's a lot less stressful than you're making it out, there's no time limit. You can change stuff whenever you like. The only thing you should have done quickly is your passport. Everything else you can wait. I just changed my name officially at the doctor's office, over a year after our wedding.
    This.  I've been married almost 2 years now and there's still a few things I haven't switched yet.  The main ones are SSA, DMV, passport, and bank cards.  The only two of those I had to do in person was SSA (a requirement in my county for some reason, most places you can do this by mail) and the DMV.  Everywhere else I called or emailed when I realized I hadn't changed it yet.
  • I did change mine. Yes, it's a bit of a hassle but there's really no rush to get it done immediately. I waited almost six months after the wedding to begin the process because I'm a college student and changing my name in the middle of the semester would have been a HUGE pain - my student email would change, my name on class rosters would change, etc. I went to social security first and then the DMV. After that, I did my passport. I had just gotten a new passport last June so if I needed a new one within a year due to name change, there were no fees! So I made sure to get that done within the year. Then I changed bank accounts and other paperwork whenever I thought of it/after we got our certificate back from the passport agency. (I know, I know, I shouldn't have sent our only copy but we didn't get a second one before I had to send off my passport application to avoid the fees And I did make a copy to keep on hand.)
  • I changed mine at the SS Office first, then made an appointment at the DMV and was in and out of there in 20 minutes.  90% of my credit cards, utilities and other accounts let me change my name over the phone.  It took about 5 minutes at my bank to change it.

    this really isn't a big deal.

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