Second wedding in a catholic church?

xcitedbride

I am sure this has been brought up before and I did some searching but am coming across different answers. My first marriage was in a catholic church and it ended in a divorce. There was no annulment. Am I prohibited from getting married in a catholic church again or does it depend on the priest/parish?  Thank you

xcitedbride

One more question - if I cannot get remarried in a church, then can a priest still marry us at another venue?

xcitedbride

Nolagirl12

My priest wouldnt marry us unless we had annullment either way. But check with your priest.

right1thistime

A priest cannot provide the sacrament of marriage anywhere else than a sacred setting (church, chapel), regardless of the first, second or thirty third marriage.

Without an annulment, you are considered still married in the eyes of the church, and therefore, cannot be married again.  ~Donna

(And woo-hoo to the spellchecker squiggles!)

Dancer2873

yes I am currently going through the annulment process. My first wedding was in the church but I heard regardless if you have your first wedding in the church you would still have to get an annulment to get married in the church the 2nd time. It's really a frustrating process and very personal just to let you know!

rcooper1102

I'm Catholic, was married Catholic in 03 and will be married in the Catholic church this December. 

Here is a little background on how my situation went, I live in PA (idk if each state is diff)....

Depending on your situation ... it can take 12-18 months to get it through.  Mine was about $850 to complete.  We had no children, and I filled out all 15 pages of their paperwork COMPLETELY & THOROUGHLY so there were no questions about what happened. So mine was "quick" as compared to others. Mine was also pretty straight forward (no cheating or deception or things that could be very complicated)

I sat down with my "Advocate" who was a deacon at my church on 3.17.2011, annullment was finalized May 25, 2012.  It's just a long process because many people have to review your paperwork, approve it, send it to the next group ... you can get called in to meet & be questioned by a panel of priests regarding your situation.  Your ex gets all the same paperwork & also has to fill it all out.  Mine was happy to help me out, he didn't want to oppose or fight it.  So when he got his paperwork he just didn't fill it out.  They give them a few months, and if they don't hear from you ex, they assume they aren't interested in participating & proceed without them.  Mine went pretty smooth ...  all of my paperwork ended up in the State Diocese office (final signoffs) on January 3, 2012.  It sat on that one desk until late May when it was reviewed & signed.   So it all depends on how many are in the hopper ....   it could be longer or shorter  

Then when we met with our priest in Feb about getting married...  he said he needed my annullment decree because in some cases they can require additional pre-cana counseling.   Luckily, we don't need to do that. 

Sorry, i know this is alot of info you didn't really ask for ... but just incase you don't know what the process is, that is the basic jist.  You can PM me if you have any other questions.  My Deacon/Advocate was super awesome, and it's very important to have someone good helping you with the process & filling out the paperwork.  

xcitedbride

rcooper1102 - thank you so much for your reply, it was so informative and helpful. I really appreciate it!

leesmorris

Your story matches mine so closely!  My fiance was married in 2002 and divorced in 2008.  Once he proposed, we began the annulment process.  I didn't realize how much paperwork would be involved - or the time frame we were looking at.  I was raised a strict Catholic and although I am more lenient, my family unfortunately is not.  There has never been a divorce in my family - not even extensive family.  I feel like my family is frowning on my situation - especially since he has two little boys.  My family is pushing me to wait until the annulment goes through before we marry.  We thought we would compromise and have a civil ceremony (on the beach) like we've always dreamed and then have a Catholic wedding in the Church when the annulment goes through.  We considered this especially since the Church will not allow you to set a date, which really limits planning - unsure how long we'd be looking at.  Then there would be the second hurdle of attempting to get the Bishop to approve a wedding ceremony outside of Church walls on a beach.  I think my biggest struggle is trying to please and not disappoint my family who I've always dreamed would be involved in planning my wedding and balancing that with keeping my fiance (who is not a practicing Catholic) happy.  He feels my family is controlling our entire wedding.  In turn, I have been having such internal struggle for the past 3 1/2 months since we got engaged.  The whole process is overwhelming.  My engagement thus far has not been fun, or happy.  I'm looking for advice from someone who has been there and can tell me it will be ok in the end and guide me in my ultimate decision.  My mother and I have met with a therapist and the priest my fiance and I are working with.  I want to know we are making the right choice, and that everyone will be happy with the outcome.  What anniversary date do you even celebrate with two weddings?  Any insight is much needed and appreciate.  Looking for a ray of light.

 Quote ·  Love it  Reply

MobKaz

leesmorris said:

Your story matches mine so closely!  My fiance was married in 2002 and divorced in 2008.  Once he proposed, we began the annulment process.  I didn't realize how much paperwork would be involved - or the time frame we were looking at.  I was raised a strict Catholic and although I am more lenient, my family unfortunately is not.  There has never been a divorce in my family - not even extensive family.  I feel like my family is frowning on my situation - especially since he has two little boys.  My family is pushing me to wait until the annulment goes through before we marry.  We thought we would compromise and have a civil ceremony (on the beach) like we've always dreamed and then have a Catholic wedding in the Church when the annulment goes through.  We considered this especially since the Church will not allow you to set a date, which really limits planning - unsure how long we'd be looking at.  Then there would be the second hurdle of attempting to get the Bishop to approve a wedding ceremony outside of Church walls on a beach.  I think my biggest struggle is trying to please and not disappoint my family who I've always dreamed would be involved in planning my wedding and balancing that with keeping my fiance (who is not a practicing Catholic) happy.  He feels my family is controlling our entire wedding.  In turn, I have been having such internal struggle for the past 3 1/2 months since we got engaged.  The whole process is overwhelming.  My engagement thus far has not been fun, or happy.  I'm looking for advice from someone who has been there and can tell me it will be ok in the end and guide me in my ultimate decision.  My mother and I have met with a therapist and the priest my fiance and I are working with.  I want to know we are making the right choice, and that everyone will be happy with the outcome.  What anniversary date do you even celebrate with two weddings?  Any insight is much needed and appreciate.  Looking for a ray of light.

I do not mean to offend you.  However, you sound more concerned about pleasing your mother than you do your future husband.  You and your FI should come first.  Reread the bolded parts of your post; they are quite telling.  Your family is pushing you. Your biggest struggle is not disappointing your family.  Your family is controlling your wedding, and if you allow that to happen, they will continue to control your future life.  You should be attending therapy with your future husband as opposed to your mother.  And that therapy should focus on how you can break away from the strings and ties you have with your family, and how to form a new family with your future husband and his children.  Finally, you avoid the anniversary date dilemma by only having ONE wedding.  And that wedding should be the one decided by you and your FI, NOT your mother.  

And, again, without sounding callous...if you have been married once already, you should be old enough to cut the apron strings with your mother.  You and your FI should be the ones involved in planning this wedding.  The engagement is not fun or happy because the focus is not on the engaged couple.  Frankly, it sounds like the engaged couple is the last thing on which this wedding is focused.

laurenl609

What if you haven't had any contact with your xH in years and have no way to reach them? How do they send them the paperwork?

photokitty

Talk to your priest. My diocese told me that if my ex did not respond they would still proceed and only use the info i submitted. But it might differ from diocese to diocese. GL!