Deleted Threads

audrewuh

Hey @KnotPorscha, there has been a rash of deleted threads on NEY lately and I'm wondering what's going on. 

It seems if an OP disagrees with what we say, the thread gets deleted within a few hours. 

Case and point: a thread by Englishteacher26 titled "I think the ring is coming..." I commented in the thread, was mentioned by two other posters, and now the thread is gone. The OP is not banned as her other posts are visible, as is her profile. She was upset because other users told her that pre-planning her wedding was not a good idea.

Please tell me why this thread, and many others following this pattern, have been deleted. 

[Deleted User]

Hey there! Only the Knot Team is able to delete a thread. We take each deletion on our boards case by case and privately reach out to OP with our reasoning - so I do not have specific details that I am able to share with you.

audrewuh

@KnotPorscha

So, threads can just be deleted with no reasoning? I don't care what the details are, I want to know what the reason was. 

Example: 

Thread gets deleted because of spamming, name calling, blatant abuse of other users. 

Reason: violation of TOS. 

I just can't understand how anything in that particular thread was a violation of the TOS. Unless not validating bad ideas is now considered "bullying," which is absurd. 

It's not unfair to the OP to tell the rest of the posters in the community who have given solid advice "Hey, we think this has gotten out of hand and we're going to take it down because of x, y, and z." Even WeddingBee does this, quoting the TOS that have been violated before closing a thread. 

buddysmom80

@knotporscha as someone who gave good advice on this particular thread, I'm offended that the thread was taken down. No one violated TOS. This is a public forum, so you put a question out there, you're going to get an answer. If it's not answer that you like you don't beg a KG to take the thread down. What if that post was helpful to someone else?

Is this how every thread is going to be treated when someone's ideas don't get validated in a positive way and OP's come crying to KGs?

If it is, I think this is a ridiculous policy and someone should look into it.

Swazzle

I just don't understand the reasoning behind deleting a whole thread especially when there wasn't even a warning given (maybe there was no warning because nobody in the damn thread violated the TOS). Even then, though, I don't understand why the whole thread was deleted. 

misshart00

It seems as though if the KGs get one email saying someone is upset by someone, they do something about it or change it. KGs said that they got emails complaining about the love it's being public, so they deleted it. If someone complains about a thread, it gets deleted. I just feel like you need to be more consistent.

There was a huge poll about making love it's public again, and an overwhelming majority said to make them public. But a couple private emails said they wanted them private.

peekaboo2011

We tell posters all the time that it's rude to delete their OP when they don't get the advice that they want from us.  It's insulting that KGs would think that it's better for the whole thread to be deleted because an OP got their panties in a twist and sent an email.

I got my panties in a twist because I got banned for giving good advice over on WB.  I emailed and complained to mods because I never violated their TOS.  Guess what I got. Ignored.  I never thought I'd say this, but maybe TK should take a different leaf out of WB's mod handbook and ignore people who have their panties in a twist over nothing.

buddysmom80

I also want to know what determines a thread to be deleted if it doesn't violate any TOS. I just can't wrap my head around ONE PERSON not liking something, the whole group is affected. This doesn't happen in the real world. Let's get serious here, we're all adults, the OP gave an opinion/idea/etc all the other posters gave good advice, and now the thread is gone. I find this more rude than a DD.

[Deleted User]

You're totally right about this post. That particular post and any others that do not violate TOS shouldn't be deleted.

You all have incredible advice so I can understand being upset that someone chose to ignore the time you put into answering. I can't bring the post back, so my mistake.

misshart00

But I think the question still remains, why did you choose to delete it then? Was it just thy you didn't mean to or was there something in it that you felt needed deleted (and are now realizing you made a mistake)?

audrewuh

KnotPorscha said:

You're totally right about this post. That particular post and any others that do not violate TOS shouldn't be deleted.

You all have incredible advice so I can understand being upset that someone chose to ignore the time you put into answering. I can't bring the post back, so my mistake.

I can accept this as long as you follow through on it. It's an abuse of power otherwise. 

peekaboo2011

From here on out, rather than delete a post, would it be possible to just close it unless there's been a gross violation of privacy or something?  That way the good advice stays, people see that they can't have their way every time their panties are in a twist.  If it's closed, generally it'll get buried pretty quickly.

audrewuh

misshart00 said:

But I think the question still remains, why did you choose to delete it then? Was it just thy you didn't mean to or was there something in it that you felt needed deleted (and are now realizing you made a mistake)?

I'm pretty sure KP's response confirms that OP whined to KGs to get it deleted because she felt picked on. 

buddysmom80

Okay, so just to clarify: from now on, if a thread violates a TOS it'll get shut down and not at the request of a poster who got butt-hurt? Will this be consistent?

[Deleted User]

I honestly thought that we delete threads when an OP requests it since members can only edit their posts. I'm owning up to that mistake.

audrewuh

KP, are we on the same page now? (<-- not snarky, just checking)

peekaboo2011

KnotPorscha said:

I honestly thought that we delete threads when an OP requests it since members can only edit their posts. I'm owning up to that mistake.

Thank you for owning up to that mistake.  Our concerns are now what happens moving forward.  What are your criteria for closing a thread versus deleting it?  If threads are going to get deleted every time an OP complains, I'm going to start saving up my good advice for the reasonably sane ones.

[Deleted User]

For sure, we're on the same page moving forward. Threads will not be deleted because of personal complaints.

misshart00

Awesome. Thanks KP.

audrewuh

KnotPorscha said:

For sure, we're on the same page moving forward. Threads will not be deleted because of personal complaints.

Just want to let you know how much I appreciate this straightforward conversation we just had. Well, as straight forward as it could have been. 

Swazzle

Thanks so much, KP!

MairePoppy

@KnotPorscha - that was awesome. You made a mistake, owned up to it, apologized and promised it won't happen again. Thank you.

buddysmom80

@knotporscha thank you!