Symbolic gestures

I<3PtrObrn

Hey Knotties-

I need some ideas for symbolic things to do at my wedding. My ceremony is going to be totally untraditional with very little words and mainly music. So while the music is playing I want to do some traditional and nontraditional things up at the alter. I know that I will do my dad giving me away and binding of our hands (do you all have a vision of what that looks like - please share!). Then I will have the mothers light a unity candle. My officiant will take the rings from the dog. And we may say some short vows. Exchange rings and have the officiant declare us married. But before the declaration and maybe even the exchange of rings, I need another symbolic thing or 2 to fill the space. Any ideas? I like the wine box and love letter idea from the article highlighted today, but my fiancee doesn't drink wine. Our passions are dancing, hiking, camping, reading (but we are having a swing dance/speakeasy wedding reception so I don't really want a dancing symbol.

Would love ideas!!!
Thanks

itzMS

I<3PtrObrn said:

Hey Knotties-

I need some ideas for symbolic things to do at my wedding. My ceremony is going to be totally untraditional with very little words and mainly music. So while the music is playing I want to do some traditional and nontraditional things up at the alter. I know that I will do my dad giving me away and binding of our hands (do you all have a vision of what that looks like - please share!). Then I will have the mothers light a unity candle. My officiant will take the rings from the dog. And we may say some short vows. Exchange rings and have the officiant declare us married. But before the declaration and maybe even the exchange of rings, I need another symbolic thing or 2 to fill the space. Any ideas? I like the wine box and love letter idea from the article highlighted today, but my fiancee doesn't drink wine. Our passions are dancing, hiking, camping, reading (but we are having a swing dance/speakeasy wedding reception so I don't really want a dancing symbol.

Would love ideas!!!
Thanks

You love reading...but you don't want any words. *confused*

To symbolize camping you could make a s'more together!! Or pitch a tent while your guests watch!! (hehe pitch a tent...)

For hiking you could each lace up each other's hiking boots or both drink from a camelbak pack?

In all seriousness...just pick a passage or two from you and FI's favorite books or poems and have them read.

Also, check with your State's requirements for a valid marriage. You honestly may have to say some sort of vows for your marriage to be legit.

QueerFemme

I<3PtrObrn said:

Hey Knotties-

I need some ideas for symbolic things to do at my wedding. My ceremony is going to be totally untraditional with very little words and mainly music. So while the music is playing I want to do some traditional and nontraditional things up at the alter. I know that I will do my dad giving me away and binding of our hands (do you all have a vision of what that looks like - please share!). Then I will have the mothers light a unity candle. My officiant will take the rings from the dog. And we may say some short vows. Exchange rings and have the officiant declare us married. But before the declaration and maybe even the exchange of rings, I need another symbolic thing or 2 to fill the space. Any ideas? I like the wine box and love letter idea from the article highlighted today, but my fiancee doesn't drink wine. Our passions are dancing, hiking, camping, reading (but we are having a swing dance/speakeasy wedding reception so I don't really want a dancing symbol.

Would love ideas!!!
Thanks

Ditto PP. Check the laws in your state.  A lot of states have certain vow requirements to have the marriage be valid.

I would skip having the dogs bring the rings down. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE dogs. I have four of them.  But, having dogs in your ceremony is a disaster waiting to happen.  Dogs can easily get spooked around that many people.  Can stop and pee or poop on your aisle, and you run the risk of someone having an allergy that you don't know about.  Also, who is going to be responsible for caring for the dog before and after your ceremony.  Every time I see a bride planning on this, it turns out to be a nightmare in reality.

If you want to add more to the ceremony, you can do a sand ceremony.  I would suggest having some readings as well.  A mostly musical or silent ceremony would be a little boring, in my opinion.

STARMOON44

It's not a variety show. You don't need to think of things to do or ways to keep people entertained. You include elements that are important to your understanding of what it means to be married, and then you stop. As a guest, if I watch you light a unity candle, and then mix a cocktail, and then do a ring warming, and then a sand ceremony, and then a foot washing, I'm not going to be moved by your commitment. I'm going to think you have a serious pinterest problem. If you want the focus to be the music, let people just sit and listen.

Jen4948

Well, I agree with PPs: Leave the dogs out of the ceremony.  As cute and adorable as they might be outside of a wedding, your wedding is not a routine situation for a dog.  Someone might be there who's allergic, plus, the dog still needs to be fed, walked, groomed, etc. and even the best-trained dogs might relieve themselves at the wrong time, do other things they're not supposed to, or fail to do things they are supposed to like bring the rings down the aisle.  I can truly see this not working.

Also, you might have to say vows to each other to make your marriage legally valid, depending on where it's taking place

Aside from that, I'd just do some readings and perhaps play some music that has meaning for you and will set the mood.  I'm not a fan of "unity" ceremonies within weddings, because weddings are in and of themselves unity ceremonies.

KDM323

I<3PtrObrn said:

Hey Knotties-

I need some ideas for symbolic things to do at my wedding. My ceremony is going to be totally untraditional with very little words and mainly music. So while the music is playing I want to do some traditional and nontraditional things up at the alter. I know that I will do my dad giving me away and binding of our hands (do you all have a vision of what that looks like - please share!). Then I will have the mothers light a unity candle. My officiant will take the rings from the dog. And we may say some short vows. Exchange rings and have the officiant declare us married. But before the declaration and maybe even the exchange of rings, I need another symbolic thing or 2 to fill the space. Any ideas? I like the wine box and love letter idea from the article highlighted today, but my fiancee doesn't drink wine. Our passions are dancing, hiking, camping, reading (but we are having a swing dance/speakeasy wedding reception so I don't really want a dancing symbol.

Would love ideas!!!
Thanks

And this is going to be turned into a youtube video and be laughed at on websites around the world if even one of your guests has a wicked sense of humor and runs out of patience during all of these little "ceremonies".

I'd really give some thought to completely redesigning your idea of a ceremony.  Perhaps incorporate one of these things...but don't add every.single.idea you find in articles on the web or on pinterest.   That just winds up cheezy.

LDubHawksFan

STARMOON44 said:

It's not a variety show. You don't need to think of things to do or ways to keep people entertained. You include elements that are important to your understanding of what it means to be married, and then you stop. As a guest, if I watch you light a unity candle, and then mix a cocktail, and then do a ring warming, and then a sand ceremony, and then a foot washing, I'm not going to be moved by your commitment. I'm going to think you have a serious pinterest problem. If you want the focus to be the music, let people just sit and listen.

Haha the Pinterest comment made me laugh because it's true!
Op, I have to agree that less is more unless the aspects of the ceremony actually mean something to the couple. We did a wine box ceremony because it meant something very important to myself and my husband. Outside of that, and our vows, we didn't add anything else just for the sake of adding something. Our pastor started with a short backstory of our relationship which was fun & entertaining but that was something he added.

easilyunamused

lwoehlk said:

It's not a variety show. You don't need to think of things to do or ways to keep people entertained. You include elements that are important to your understanding of what it means to be married, and then you stop. As a guest, if I watch you light a unity candle, and then mix a cocktail, and then do a ring warming, and then a sand ceremony, and then a foot washing, I'm not going to be moved by your commitment. I'm going to think you have a serious pinterest problem. If you want the focus to be the music, let people just sit and listen.

Haha the Pinterest comment made me laugh because it's true! Op, I have to agree that less is more unless the aspects of the ceremony actually mean something to the couple. We did a wine box ceremony because it meant something very important to myself and my husband. Outside of that, and our vows, we didn't add anything else just for the sake of adding something. Our pastor started with a short backstory of our relationship which was fun & entertaining but that was something he added.

@Iwoehik how did you do this? We are planning on doing it with our ceremony and I was wondering how we let our guests know what we are doing and why, ect. FI's cousin is making our box, and we are going to have a 2 key lock.

[Deleted User]

At first I thought we were talking about a "boxed wine ceremony."  Sounds like a party.

LDubHawksFan

Bmarie1316 said:

lwoehlk said:

STARMOON44 said:

It's not a variety show. You don't need to think of things to do or ways to keep people entertained. You include elements that are important to your understanding of what it means to be married, and then you stop. As a guest, if I watch you light a unity candle, and then mix a cocktail, and then do a ring warming, and then a sand ceremony, and then a foot washing, I'm not going to be moved by your commitment. I'm going to think you have a serious pinterest problem. If you want the focus to be the music, let people just sit and listen.

Haha the Pinterest comment made me laugh because it's true!
Op, I have to agree that less is more unless the aspects of the ceremony actually mean something to the couple. We did a wine box ceremony because it meant something very important to myself and my husband. Outside of that, and our vows, we didn't add anything else just for the sake of adding something. Our pastor started with a short backstory of our relationship which was fun & entertaining but that was something he added.

@Iwoehik how did you do this? We are planning on doing it with our ceremony and I was wondering how we let our guests know what we are doing and why, ect. FI's cousin is making our box, and we are going to have a 2 key lock.


Umm, I looked up some examples online because my pastor was really unsure of what to say since he had never heard of it. Basically about how the b&g wrote & sealed notes expressing their love to one another, and they are going to seal them in a box (made by my step dad) with wine for their 10 yr Ann or if their marriage is in particular strain & they want to capture & remember why the fell in love. I made sure that although a big part of this was due to the many divorces in my family, he didn't explicitly say that! Haha we then picked a song & went and hammered it shut!

LDubHawksFan

LMc0322 said:

At first I thought we were talking about a "boxed wine ceremony."  Sounds like a party.

Haha that would be terrible in 10 years!

[Deleted User]

lwoehlk said:

At first I thought we were talking about a "boxed wine ceremony."  Sounds like a party.

Haha that would be terrible in 10 years!

This comment seems to imply it's not terrible NOW.  You have a stomach of steel if you can drink that stuff!

LDubHawksFan

LMc0322 said:

lwoehlk said:

At first I thought we were talking about a "boxed wine ceremony."  Sounds like a party.

Haha that would be terrible in 10 years!

This comment seems to imply it's not terrible NOW.  You have a stomach of steel if you can drink that stuff!

Nope couldn't/wouldn't drink it during the ceremony either!!

LDubHawksFan

StageManager14 said:

LMc0322 said:

lwoehlk said:

At first I thought we were talking about a "boxed wine ceremony."  Sounds like a party.

Haha that would be terrible in 10 years!

This comment seems to imply it's not terrible NOW.  You have a stomach of steel if you can drink that stuff!

There are decent boxed wines, but i wouldn't want to drink it 10 years later. And honestly, most wine today isn't meant to age the way people think it is. Only the really high end stuff ages well.

Not knocking the tradition, but I always wonder how many people that do this end up with vinegar on their 10 year anniversary.


Oh I agree and we spent a long time researching wines that wouldn't turn to vinegar. My ILs actually researched for a few weeks, splurged and bought us a really nice wine for our box that SHOULD age well (though we won't know for another 9.5 years! Ha).

[Deleted User]

StageManager14 said:

lwoehlk said:

At first I thought we were talking about a "boxed wine ceremony."  Sounds like a party.

Haha that would be terrible in 10 years!

This comment seems to imply it's not terrible NOW.  You have a stomach of steel if you can drink that stuff!

There are decent boxed wines, but i wouldn't want to drink it 10 years later. And honestly, most wine today isn't meant to age the way people think it is. Only the really high end stuff ages well. Not knocking the tradition, but I always wonder how many people that do this end up with vinegar on their 10 year anniversary.

True. In fairness to decent boxed wines, I was only referring to Franzia.  I tried my best in college to like it.  But even after one glass, I was physically sick.

zitiqueen

I<3PtrObrn said:

Hey Knotties-

My ceremony is going to be totally untraditional with very little words and mainly music.

Click here for a list of three-letter words. Click here for a list of two-letter words.

Good luck, and be sure to share what you came up with!