Bridesmaid Toast= All about embarrassing bride and groon!

SMCowles2013

HELP!!
I have one of my bridesmaids (who was my fiancee's roommate in college.. and no they did NOT date or sleep together in any way!!) wanting to give a toast. Which in any other circumstance would be fine, but she has already written her speech and had me listen to it. Unfortunately, all of the "memorable moments" in her speech are focused on stupid things we did while drunk/drinking in college! My fiancee does not embarrass easily but I do and I don't feel that OUR day should be one that all of our embarrassing moments are shared with our ENTIRE family... How do I ask her to politely change her speeh or just not make one at all. I feel really sick about her speech and wedding is in 3 weeks...

HisGirlFriday13

You tell her, "I'm sorry, we've decided on no speeches," and then you tell your DJ that, under no circumstances, is he to give the microphone to ANYONE. 

erinlin25

yeah that is rude of her.  This is a wedding, not a roast so I would just decline the toast-- or if you have another close bridesmaid who can tell her she should change it up that would leave you out of it. 

MairePoppy

Tell your friend that you've been planning your wedding day for months and stand up comedy isn't part of the plan. It's not okay for anyone to embarrass the bride and groom. It's very boring for the guests, who don't want to hear about your drunken escapades from your college years or your sleep overs in your grade school years. 

Ditto on telling the DJ not to hand the mic over to anyone that you haven't pre-approved. 

stantokm

Just be honest with her.  Listen to the PPs if you really don't want any toasts/speeches, but if you do want them (just not hers as-is), tell her the truth.  "Friend, I'm so glad that you want to give a speech at the reception and the one that you wrote is really funny, but I'm uncomfortable with it because of all the references to our fun drunk times.  I don't want to hurt your feelings because I know that you worked hard on this, but it would really embarrass me if all my guests heard those stories on my wedding day.  Could you maybe edit it?"

Sometimes people will give speeches or tell stories at the rehearsal dinner--would you be okay with her giving the speech then?  That might mollify her.

theretamaragoes

stantokm said:

Just be honest with her.  Listen to the PPs if you really don't want any toasts/speeches, but if you do want them (just not hers as-is), tell her the truth.  "Friend, I'm so glad that you want to give a speech at the reception and the one that you wrote is really funny, but I'm uncomfortable with it because of all the references to our fun drunk times.  I don't want to hurt your feelings because I know that you worked hard on this, but it would really embarrass me if all my guests heard those stories on my wedding day.  Could you maybe edit it?"

I completely agree. You can tell her 'No' while also being honest, kind and considerate.