Shower and Wedding Gifts

ktbabe530

This might be a dumb question, but are we really supposed to get the couple a gift for their shower and the wedding?  

We have like 5 couples we know getting married this year, including saving for our own wedding.  

tammym1001

The purpose of a shower is to "shower" a bride with gifts so it would be weird to go to the shower and not take a present. You can decline the shower though.

As far as a wedding present, you don't have to give them one and nobody is supposed to expect one, but I would feel a little weird going to someone's wedding and not giving them something. That's totally your call though.

imimbles

Showers are gift-giving parties, so yes, if you go to that, bring a gift (doesn't have to be crazy, $20-$40 gifts are perfectly acceptable).

Weddings are a bit more complicated... you don't have to bring a gift, but it would be a bit strange not to bring anything. If you can't swing it, definitely bring a card with a nice note inside. Again, you don't have to go crazy with the gift if you can't afford it (especially if you already brought a shower gift).

misshart00

Where are you from? It seems in my circle, many people view the shower gift as their wedding gift. So if you go to the shower, get a gift and that's it. If not, get them a wedding gift.

courtneythesquid

I agree with several comments above- when I give a nice shower gift, I would not get a second gift for the wedding itself.  If I just got a few knick knacks for the shower, I would probably get something additional for the wedding.

itzMS

In my circle, you give a gift at the shower and the wedding both.

It really seems like a regional thing.

juliebarns

I'm sure if you put effort

RetreadBride said:

Can you make a wedding gift?  We weren't well off, so mom made a lot of wedding gifts.  One thing she often did was "age" wedding and graduation invitations (sear them around the edges), then lacquer them onto a wooden plaque, sometimes with a photo (such as their senior or engagement photo).

Shower gifts - those needn't be expensive. Put a few kitchen gadgets in a basket, add a recipe and perhaps some ingredients (sugar, flour, spices).  Get a bucket, mop, broom and some cleaning products.

Set a budget for each wedding.  The expectations of some couples, and suggestions on some websites, make my social set choke on our coffee.   "100-200 for a close friend, $200-400 for a relative"???  $400 is more than most of us can afford to spend on our family for Christmas!

I am sure that you can just make your own gift as long as they can tell that you put time and effort into it. Also if you really need to, you can just explain your situation to them. Best of luck!

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Julie

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Xstatic3333

For the shower, I really like the basket of kitchen essentials idea. I got a couple of these at my first shower and they are great! I'm sure it can be done for $20-$30. My FMIL made me one with lots of spices in it.

I bring a gift to both, but often go with something less expensive off the registry.

audubonbride2013

I bring a gift to both.  For the last shower I went to I caught a good Macy's sale and got the bride's Corningware set for ~$20.

megra03

It is typical in my circle to give a shower gift (from the registry) and cash in a card for the wedding. 

I like the basket idea!  I know FI and I have not lived together and each of us lived with roommates that had many items, so even a start-up cleaning basket would be great!  My mom also once gave some bakeware - a brownie pan with a cute box of assorted sprinkles.  It was really cute and the bride was really excited to get baking!