This has nothing to do with etiquette but Im hoping you guys can give me a dose of "tough love" which is what I may need right now. I have been experiencing horrible pain in my abdomen for 3 months. GP ordered cat scan and blood work. Results of blood showed deficiency in B-12 & anemia. Cat scan shows what looks like Crohns disease. I was sent to a GI specialist. He said because of my history (symptoms) cscan results and my family history it seems I have Cronhs disease but wanted to do a biopsy to confirm. Biopsy was negative. He then said he cant rule out because of my history/families history and expressed the need to do another test (endocam) where I shallow a camera and it takes pics. He particularly wants to look at small bowel (family history) and its the only test that can look at all of the bowel.
Insurance dictates that I have 2 test before the Endocam, so today I had one of them...endoscopy. (scope down my throat into stomach). I expected this to show nothing but maybe signs of reflux which Ive been suffering with for years. Well, I was wrong. GI saw "Barrettes" of esophagus...inflammation in 2 areas of stomach & lesions/inflammation at beginning of small bowel (according to discharge report). All of which he biopsied. I saw doctor after procedure and he did say that he wanted to go ahead asap with Endocam. When I told him that insurance dictated one other test before this one (which he knew), he said "yes, but we will take care of this. I want to do Endocam within a week." I didnt question any further. (I was still kinda drugged)
When me & FI were leaving , the nurse told me that I had "Barretts" and my FI said "why say that to her, lets wait for biopsy results!" Her reply was, "the doctor knows what hes looking at the biospy is for..." and she redirected the conversation to follow-up stuff.
After I was home and anesthesia wore off, I read the above findings and looked a pictures that were taken during the scope. I did an internet search of Barrettes. Its clear by the pics and my pics that its Barrettes. I also learned that Barrettes is considered a "pre-malignant" condition to a very deadly cancer. A small # of people who suffer with long term reflux get Barrettes. A small # of people with Barrettes get cancer. Ive managed to convinced myself that this is why the doctor biopsied this area and this is what the nurse was starting to tell us but stopped.
I am completely terrified. It seems like the other findings are indicative of Crohns. So honestly, my mind is telling me that I have Crohns and possibly cancer. Im thinking, "If a small # of people get Barrettes, well I have Barrettes...and a small # of people with Barrettes get cancer...well then!" The biopsies results wont be in for 5-7 days. I dont know how to think about it all otherwise. I can hardly breathe. To add, me & FI had to deal with some heart heavy things before we could be together. We are beyond it all by far obviously, but ever since, Ive been fearful that something will happen and I wont get the chance to marry him and make it right. I feel like my health is "that something."
I feel like Im going to pass out/drown from the anxiety. I would really appreciate your wisdom, thoughts, a "rope" to help me out of these thoughts.
