XP - old, new, borrowed, blue - what to accept/how to say no?

southernbelle0915

old/borrowed - a bracelet my great-grandma, grandma, mom, sister wore in their weddings

new - my dress, shoes

blue - TBD

FMIL just offered something old/borrowed, but didn't specify anything. I think she's saying, "if you want something old/borrowed from our side of the family, I can find something for you." I think it'd be really sweet to have something from FI's side. I'm looking for advice on how to respond. Here are my thoughts:

1) I already have something old/borrowed, but could I shift the bracelet to "borrowed" and tell her there's room at the inn for "something old" or visa versa?

2) If I say I'm open to it, what if I really don't like what she offers? Do I wear it anyway? How would you say no? (Am I a terrible/shallow person for thinking this? Please put me in my place if so.)

2) If I tell her I'm all set for old/borrowed, what are good ideas for "something blue"? Unfortunately, we're in opposite parts of the country so we can't go pick something out together. 

WWYD?

allispain

I would say, "The women in my family have all worn my great-grandma's bracelet. I would love to be able to add another piece of jewelry from your side of the family. Here's a picture of the bracelet. Do you have a pair of earrings, a necklace, or something else that might coordinate with it nicely? If not, I'm still trying to decide on my 'something blue.' Is there a tradition in your family - initials sown in blue to inside of dress, handkerchief, etc.?"

If she does offer something that isn't quite right, dealing with that depends on your relationship with her as well as what the issue may be. My FMIL offered me an heirloom watch - beautiful face but the band is black (eek!) and too big on me. I told her I was concerned it might slip off and get lost (which was totally true), and asked if she would be okay with me having a jeweler put a different band on it for the wedding and then put the original one back afterwards. She said that was perfectly fine. I picked out a band that was in the same style as the original but was more of a silver color and fit me snugly. Everyone's happy!

phira

Yeah, this isn't a rule that's set in stone. You can wear a piece of jewelry from your fiance's side of the family, too!

In terms of making sure it's something you'd be happy wearing on your wedding day, it might help to give your future mother-in-law some guidelines. Maybe, "Is there a silver-colored bracelet that I could wear?" or, "I'd love to add a brooch to my bouquet; is there one that means a lot to you/your family?"