Poll - How much to be a bridesmaid?

annathy03

INFO:  Were you a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor, or Matron of Honor?  What state/country are you from? I was a bridesmaid in a wedding in Ohio, and will be a bridesmaid again in California this fall.  I live in Nevada, travel expenses were about 600 for Ohio, I had to fly but stayed with family except the night of the wedding (and it was my choice to do that).  For California we'll drive but the hotel costs more since it's on the beach, probably 500 between gas, parking, and hotel.

1)  How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)?  (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc) For Ohio probably 850 total- 600 in flight/hotel, 50 shower gift, 120 wedding gift, 30 shoes (bride asked us to wear silver and I didn't own any), hair (my choice), and the bride bought our dresses, I didn't fly back for the bachelorette, and the MOH scheduled the shower when I'd be in town for something else.

For California it'll be around $1000; the dress will be whatever I decide to spend, she specified black at least knee length, $30 shoes (I'm ok with this since she is so flexible with our dresses), planning on $30 for the shower and $30-50 for a shower gift, $100ish wedding gift, and $200 bachelorette which is a night on the town with a hotel room.

2)  Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more? It was about spot on for Ohio, a bit more than I was expecting for California since I didn't host the shower or attend the B-party for Ohio.  Also for Ohio my travel costs would have been the same as a guest, whereas for California if I didn't have the R and RD to go to the first evening we'd probably do one less day in the hotel if I was just a guest.  Gift amounts would be the same, and I would go to the Cali b-party regardless, so I really only associate the other things as BM costs, which would change the numbers significantly.

3)  Was it worth it?  Would you do it again? Yes, and in the Ohio case if I'd known better I would have asked the MOH what I could pitch in for the shower.

4)  Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride?  If so, for better or worse? It so far hasn't changed either.  The Ohio bride is my Matron of Honor, her H and FI and I vacation together regularly, and I would have regretted not being in her wedding, it was a blast spending that time together getting ready.  California we haven't had the events yet, but she is one of my BMs as well and I don't see her being a zilla at all, so no change anticipated!

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)?  Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for." 3 of my BMs will need to fly here (the Ohio bride, my sister, FI's sister, all of whom I know would attend as guests regardless), but that will by far be their largest cost.  I haven't picked a dress yet but plan to have them find something in the color I decide on, be it from David's, Target, whatever.  I don't expect any pre-wedding events but I do think friends will want to throw a b-party b/c I live in Vegas and it's a great excuse for a girls trip, and if they do I will offer everyone to stay in my house if they'd like.

RickandSteph13

I have only been in one wedding.  I was MOH (in Oklahoma) and everything other than my bra was paid for. So I spent less than $150 includes presents

Way less than I would expect to spend.

Yes it was my sisters wedding so it was worth it and would have been worth way more if I had to spend it.

I just got married in April and my MOH only had to pay for her own travel expenses, hotel(not required but she decided to make a vacation out of it), jewelry(not requred of course) and her mani/pedi(also not required).  She did also pay for her own dinner at my B Party. 

courtski2004

INFO: Were you a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor, or Matron of Honor? What state/country are you from? I was a BM in a friend's wedding in KS, and MOH in my sister's wedding in NC, travel required to both, I am in Dallas.

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

Friends wedding (BM), Attire: $150 for the dress and shoes, $30 for hair, $50 for makeup, $200 for the B party/shower (both were the same night), $250 (ballpark) total in driving costs (1 trip for the b party weekend, another for the wedding week) + hotel for the night of the wedding.

Sisters wedding (MOH), Attire: $350, $50 for hair, I don't remember if I paid $50 for makeup or not, separate flights for the shower (St. Louis) and b-party(Chicago)-probably $250 round trip each, $200-ish for the b-party, $900-$1000 for travel/hotel in NC for the wedding (Wednesday through Sunday), and probably a tad more somewhere.

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more? It was pretty much what I expected. Both got engaged and had about a year to plan the wedding, so I had that much time to save.

3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again? It was definitely worth it to me. I was honored to be such a big part of their respective wedding days.

4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse? With my sister, I think it brought us closer together. I had just gotten married when she got engaged, so I was able to give her advice and talk her off the ledge when things got crazy. Since we live far away from eachother, it was nice to build on our relationship.

With my friend, it didn't effect things either way. We aren't friends anymore but it had nothing to do with her wedding. She was separated from her H a month after the wedding, which initially made me regret what J and I had spent, but I had to put it in perspective of the actual wedding day--we had a blast and she really appreciated everything that we did for her. He just ended up being a complete douchebag.

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."

Both of my adult BMs were OOT, and I was aware of the total cost associated with them attending (plane tickets for them and their FI/H, rental car, hotel rooms, eating out, etc.). I tried to make things as painless as possible and stuck to a conservative budget. Two of my underage neices were BMs as well, and I ended up picking up the tab for all of their costs (I didn't anticipate that, but my SIL didn't tell me until the last minute that she really couldn't afford it after all).

scscott06

MrsLillyG said:

INFO:  MOH, philly suburbs

1) How much did you spend on the wedding from beginning to end (or plan to)? (Engagement party, dress, travel, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc)

shower/bach: 350, dress/alteration:200, wedding hotel+gas: 300 gift:200

1050 total

2) Was the amount you spent what you imagined, way less, or considerably more?
I expected about 1000
3) Was it worth it? Would you do it again?
sure
4) Did being a bridesmaid affect your relationship with the bride? If so, for better or worse?
no
5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)? Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for."
800-1000, its just typical in my circle

I'm from this area too and originally from central NJ.  This has been pretty much my experience, but it's expected that all BM's contribute to the shower and divide the costs equally, which is really different than what I've been hearing on here.  I'm in 3 weddings this summer (all within a month!) and I am paying roughly $1000 (give or take some) per wedding.

[Deleted User]

Amapola14 said:

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)?  Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for." Based on my limited experience with weddings, I don't think I would want to have a bridal party. If I did, it would literally only be a, "Show up in a dress of x color at y date and time." No receiving line, very few posed photos (if any), and no head-fucking-table. But BF and I are pretty sure we'd want it to just be the two of us standing up there; we don't want to have to choose between friends and would like to keep it simple.

I actually agree with this one. The wedding I attended as a BM had a head table and I really don't think I will have one at my own wedding.

CLoGreenEyes

awebb04 said:

Amapola14 said:

5) What do you anticipate your bridesmaids will spend on your wedding (start to finish)?  Were you cognizant of the costs based on your experiences or did you have the approach of 'Hey, this is what you signed up for." Based on my limited experience with weddings, I don't think I would want to have a bridal party. If I did, it would literally only be a, "Show up in a dress of x color at y date and time." No receiving line, very few posed photos (if any), and no head-fucking-table. But BF and I are pretty sure we'd want it to just be the two of us standing up there; we don't want to have to choose between friends and would like to keep it simple.

I actually agree with this one. The wedding I attended as a BM had a head table and I really don't think I will have one at my own wedding.

I'm sure your bridal party will appreciate this move! I should clarify, lest I've offended anyone, the reason it bothered me so much was that I literally knew nobody else who was sitting around me. If I had been super buddy-buddy with all the other folks sitting around me, maybe it would have been OK - but that still would have put BF in an awkward position since he certainly didn't know anybody besides me (he'd met the couple once or twice, I think).

But, it was awesome-sauce that he was invited at all - from what I've read around here, not inviting SOs happens wayyyyy more than it should. So I just went and sat on his lap after all the spotlight dances were done - problem solved. :P

hockey20

I can't answer most of the questions, because I've never been a MOH or BM or anything other than bride-to-be, so I'll answer the last question.

I asked my girls to either wear a purple or blue dress of their choosing. My BM found a really nice dress and I don't expect she paid more than $200, my MOH found a dress she really liked that was under $40, which I bought, my flower girl also found a dress for under $30, which I also bought.

So far as I'm aware no one is throwing me a shower or party, so that's a non-existent cost.

I am paying for everyone's hair and make up (including the FG, she's a bit on the older side and can wear make up).

My MOH will be staying with either our shared in-laws or another relatives, so there's no hotel cost. My BM might either be staying with her mom or at a hotel, if she's at a hotel we will cover at least one night (which we are also doing for the way way OOT groomsman).

The only other large expense would be travel, and it's a trip both make regularly, as one was born where we're getting married and the other's mom lives a 40 minute drive. My fiancé and I will also be making the same drive as the MOH, best man, FG and ushers.

So, other than gifts, if there are any, the costs are fairly low.