"Stop the Scourge of Wedding Presents"?

PeachesNCream22

Just read this article on Slate and couldn't believe how wrong this guy is. What do you think, should everyone do away with wedding presents?

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/weddings/2013/06/wedding_present_etiquette_let_s_do_away_with_wedding_registries_and_give.html

jessicabessica

I skimmed this article a few days ago, and thought it was fairly typical for Slate random lifestyle articles.  I was confused, though, because at the beginning he says how much a typical Christmas gift is devalued based on a mistake the giver made about how much the recipient really wants/needs it.  It seems like with a wedding registry, you would avoid that loss.  

I guess I don't think we'll do away with wedding gifts for a long time.  We registered for upgrades and donated a lot of our old stuff, and we are very grateful for our family and friend's generosity and to have these nice things.  I think other kinds of gift giving is more out-of-control (and more likely to be subject to the "deadweight loss" issue he talks about, since the picks may be more random).  Father's Day, Mother's Day, anniversaries, etc.  Especially as we are looking to move and downsize our place, we are realizing how many gifts we have received that we didn't need at the time and don't really use now, although we certainly do appreciate the generosity.  

krizzo17

I read this yesterday morning, and I think my favorite part was the comment at the bottom about how awful Christmas must be at the author's house if everyone sits around mulling the "deadweight loss" of their gifts.

To me, giving a gift is as much for the giver than the receiver. I love giving gifts (probably to a fault). While the author pointed out that he and his wife didn't want gifts (and I hope they didn't write that on their invitations), the bottom line is that there are still many couples for whom a wedding provides a nice start to life together, no matter what situation they were in before.

artbyallie

I am rolling my eyes hard at the idea wedding gifts are somehow 'unfair.' People like to give gifts at weddings. And really, I would not take advice from a man tacky enough to actually put 'no gifts please' on his wedding invitations. I'm actually thinking he's only just discovered they could have registered for upgrades and he's bitter.

ETA: And he seems like a real jerk in general, with his point about Christmas presents being not what one or the other person really wanted. Ungrateful a-hole. You so are not getting the point of presents. I hope everyone you know stops giving any to you after reading your article.

PeachesNCream22

Yep I thought the same thing about Christmas at his house. Can you just imagine him shaking his head sadly after each present and asking for the receipt? I also can't imagine the nerve of someone coming to a wedding empty handed then gorging themselves on cake and an open bar.

The good news is, someone already posted a rebuttal that says it better than I could: http://weddings.gatheringguide.com/ac/wedding-etiquette/wedding-presents-hardly-a-scourge

I hope this guy stops getting presents altogether.

jessicabessica

PeachesNCream22 said:

Yep I thought the same thing about Christmas at his house. Can you just imagine him shaking his head sadly after each present and asking for the receipt? I also can't imagine the nerve of someone coming to a wedding empty handed then gorging themselves on cake and an open bar.

The good news is, someone already posted a rebuttal that says it better than I could: http://weddings.gatheringguide.com/ac/wedding-etiquette/wedding-presents-hardly-a-scourge

I hope this guy stops getting presents altogether.

The bolded is a little ridiculous.  I would be horrified if a friend or family member hadn't attended my wedding because they were not able to give a gift.  I would also not expect them to attend but not enjoy themselves if they didn't give a gift.  

PeachesNCream22

I can see where you're coming from on that. On second thought it seems a little harsh. I wasn't picturing friends who truly couldn't afford a gift (but were polite in other ways) but rather the author of the article who seems snide and tacky to me.