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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Dog at Reception (Yes, I am serious)
My wedding is July 6, and my mom and stepfather are traveling up to Ohio from Florida. My stepfather has a "service" dog that they plan on bringing with him, and they want to bring him to the indoor reception. SF is not blind and his only disability is walking with a slight limp. For those not familiar, there is a movement of people who are training "service dogs" for anyone with any disability. Once the dog has completed the course, legally, all businesses have to allow these service dogs in.
I had suggested a compromise to my mom....have SF bring the dog to the outdoor ceremony, then take the dog to my house and have him stay there during the indoor reception. My mom's response: "Well, legally, he has a right to bring him anywhere he goes." Ummm....my reception hall has a lot of regulations, and I am not sure how the owner will react to the service dog. (BTW, this dog was a stray that SF adopted and subsequently trained as a service dog, NOT one that was raised as a service dog from puppyhood).
To be honest, this dog smells and does not really behave as a service dog (barks, begs for food, etc.). If my SF was blind or had some other pressing need for the service dog, I would not bat an eyelash!! But I am not really wanting to have a dog at my indoor reception, and I think this is one occasion that "Spot" could sit out. Also, I am concerned about a relative with dog allergies being exposed to the dander. Thoughts?
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Re: Dog at Reception (Yes, I am serious)
Not allowing your step-father to bring his service dog is only going to make you look bad. And people use service dogs for a variety of legitimate reasons, it's really not your place to judge if someone's disability is worthy of having a service dog.
I agree with this last sentence. If your sf uses the assistance of the service dog to walk then maybe it is more painful for him to walk than you are aware of.
I'm not sure what the dog being a stray has to do with anything? If he went through the training and is a legitimate service dog then you need to allow him to bring the dog.
Slightly OT and judgity here, but I was on an airplane once and the woman across the aisle from me had a "Service Cat" that she was allowed to have on her lap the entire flight for anxiety reasons.
The cat was longhair, and obviously was not a non-shedding cat and cat hair was everywhere. I definitely was a bit grossed out.
I agree that sometimes the service animal thing can seem a bit difficult to understand. It sounds like your Stepdad's dog may make some other guests uncomfortable, but I don't know if there's anything you can do about it.
@itzMS, that is pretty judgey. Anxiety is a very real problem. Sure, she probably could have chosen a less obtrusive cat to take on the plane, but she may have already had that one as a pet before her anxiety developed, so she had her own cat certified rather than getting one specifically for that purpose. But I can definitely see where you are coming from, esp since you had to be confined n close quarters with the shedding and allergies are so common. H's grandma lets her long hair cats on the counters, even while cooking. Blehck.
ETA: Just so I'm clear, I think it's judgey, but I also think you had a reason to judge. If I had one, I would avoid taking a service animal on a plane. The quarters are close anyway, but it's not like most public spaces where there is an option to sit somewhere else and control how much your ESA is affecting those around you.
If it is a true service dog, he is allowed to bring it with him and as PPs said, talk to your mom about the smell and begging. If you are concerned with allergies or people being afraid, seat them away from the dog and give the venue a heads up.
But I agree with PPs that there really isn't anything to do but warn the venue of the service dog and explain that if the dog isn't well behaved (well behaved meaning - calm and lying at his feet) they may ask the owner to keep better watch on his dog and eventually ask them to take the dog elsewhere.
I have that problem and would not last more than an hour near a cat in an enclosed place like a plane.
It's like, to help one person's problem, problems are caused for other people. It's not fair and I think there needs to be limits.
Humans aren't allergic to other humans, but some are allergic to dogs. Not to mention that sometimes even the best-trained therapy dog can get out of control at a wedding. And sometimes venues just won't allow them.
I mean sure, but I'm also allergic to pollen and no one is banning trees - nor should they.
I'm glad you've decided to allow him to bring the dog. If it is not acting appropriately and like a service animal should (barking, whining, begging, etc), have someone from the venue (not you) ask him to remove the animal. Otherwise, no harm no foul.
Same thing with dogs. Sorry, but the needs of human beings who are allergic to dogs (or anything else) are the same as those who are allergic to trees. The things they are allergic to have to be kept away from them. That means, your allergic guests' needs not to be with dogs need to take priority and trump your desire to have a dog there.
Emeejeeayen, though, is talking about dogs in general, and I think the needs of everyone, allergic people especially, not to be subject to non-service dogs need to take priority over the desire to have dogs everywhere just because you (generic) love your (again generic) dogs.
Putting a non-service dog into that kind of situation is not just an unkindness to people who have allergies or other trouble with dogs, but also to the dogs themselves. So it can make situations with service dogs problematic too. So upthread I suggested that if possible, perhaps another person do for the disabled person at the wedding what the dog would normally do, but I understand that that isn't always possible either. Like we agreed, a potentially no-win situation.