Are you/ did you give your groom a gift??

TheBaysideBride

A few friends have asked if I'm giving FI a gift. I would like to give him something special, but the only thing I know he really wants is a new class ring and it's like $1000+. I think with all the other expenses this isn't the right time for that (understatement of the year...).

Any other suggestions? Is it even a tradition?

 

LiLe422

I gave my husband the gift of marriage! For real though...
No, we did not exchange gifts.  We paid for a vast majority of the wedding ourselves, so we decided that our wedding was gift enough to one another.

Peledreamsofrain

Our gift to each other was not worrying about it. At that point there were so many other things to do, relatives to see to, details to remember, and costs mounting up that we both were like "Eff that noise".

itzMS

TheBaysideBride said:

A few friends have asked if I'm giving FI a gift. I would like to give him something special, but the only thing I know he really wants is a new class ring and it's like $1000+. I think with all the other expenses this isn't the right time for that (understatement of the year...).

Any other suggestions? Is it even a tradition?

 

It's somewhat of a tradition. But you definitely don't have to get each other gifts. I would suggest discussing with your FI ahead of time and setting a budget.

DH & I purchased gifts for each other only because we wanted to. I received a diamond necklace, he received a set of Sig Sauers for concealed carry.

obxbride14

I know my sister gave her husband a new watch when they get married, and he gave her a pearl necklace.

On March 29 of this year (a year before our wedding date) I started a journal type thing of letters to him to give him on our wedding day.

Hope that helps!

ETA: Whatever he wrote in the card, my sister full on bawled. Right after she finished getting her makeup done. I think she was happier about the note in the card than the gift.

NerdyLucy

I want to get him something, but I don't know what. 

harper0813

I asked FI what he wanted as a wedding present, and he said he wanted a motorcycle or a 4K TV.

... So I'm going to give him a new pair of Ray Bans or something. And I'll allow him to start saving up for a motorcycle. Has anyone seen the episode of Louie where he buys a motorcycle? That's how I see this going down.

Gifts aren't required but many people do them. I think it's a sweet gesture, especially with a heart-felt note. I'd talk about it with him beforehand, though, so you're on the same page and neither of you is stuck feeling like a jerk for not picking up a gift.

yellowrose314

My FI and I talked about it and decided that marrying each other was present enough, but decided we would both write each other love letters to give to each other the day of and have someone deliver them to each of us the morning of.

TheBaysideBride

Oh thanks guys!! Obxbride gave me a great idea - I started a photo book a long time ago for an anniversary and never finished it - I think that would be thoughtful and cost friendly. For some reason I think he's getting me a fancy key chain, because a) there's one he told me about a while ago that he loved for me and b) our long running joke is that I never have my keys and need him to buzz me in every night after work (in reality, I do have my keys but I love seeing him open the door for me when I walk into the building ).

 

lyndausvi

We decided not to give gifts and buy something special on our honeymoon.

He surprised me with a gift.   Bastard.  

 We still got something special on our HM.  Which is a funny story.  We found a beautiful hand carved wood drum. It stands about 3 feet  high and has a heart carved on one side of the base and an elephant on the other.  It cost about $200.  After Africa we were going to Paris then NYC so we had the drum shipped to our place in the islands.    When the shipping bill hit the card was $700.   Oops.  So now we laugh at our $900 Africa drum.

manateehugger

FI and I talked about recently and said we just wouldn't worry about it. We aren't big gift-givers anyway. Birthdays and Christmases are usually "experience gifts."

And then I realized how cool it would be to surprise him with an officer's saber for the wedding. I haven't decided what I'll do yet. I don't want to make him feel bad about it, but I also don't want him to feel like he has to get me anything. 

TheBaysideBride

haha that drum story is priceless i love it.

lyndausvi

TheBaysideBride said:

haha that drum story is priceless i love it.

Yeah, we knew it would be costly.  Let's face it South African brush + living in St Thomas = expensive shipping. 

 For some reason they could not give us the exact price at the time. (we bought it in the middle of the bush).  We thought it would be around $200.  But still worth it because with all of our pending flights we would have to pay that much in airline extra luggage baggage fees and we didn't have to schlep it around.

Lesson learned.

TheBaysideBride

Lynd - I met my FI in St. Thomas when he was living there! that's so funny. the long distance dating was nice bc I'd be there at least once a month When he moved back to NYC everyone was like, darn you must love this woman to trade island life for the concrete jungle!

kerbohl

My FI and I will be getting each other something small, with a note to read the day of the wedding.  I was originally going to get him some cool cuff links, but now he isn't wearing a suit . . . so now I have to think of something else.  I'd get him a nice sword, but he already has an armory . . .

OliveOilsMom

We had been forgoing birthday and other celebration gifts while saving for the wedding, so we decided to keep that trend going.  I did speak to H about the gift exchange first (he didn't even know the WP got gifts!), so we decided to write letters to each other to read when we woke up.  We were also going to Hawaii for our honeymoon a few months after the wedding, so that was our real gift to each other!

aphrodite0869

You don't have to get gifts.  I am getting my FI a grooms cake as a surprise but I don't expect him to get me a gift so it's up to you.  If you have to pay for everything yourself (like we are) it's prolly best you do not get gifts.  Your already spending so much money and being married and having the day you want with each other should be all that matters. 

winelover123

I'm getting FI his favorite whiskey and a nice cigar. I'll probably also get him a dress watch or something else along those lines. We agreed to exchange gifts, though we haven't talked about what price we're going to try and keep it at.

TheBaysideBride

Well, we talked about it again, and as always, I went from calm to crazy in 60 seconds and was like, we don't have the money for this and you should only get one ring on your wedding day.....

Photo book and groom's cake will be awesome.

I'll get him the ring when we have a baby, as a male "push" present

thecatm

Yeah we aren't officially exchanging gifts, but i'm surprising him with a groom's cake at our rehearsal dinner

TheBaysideBride

OOH! i love that your'e doing it at the rehersal dinner - that is an AWESOME surprise!

AmJam04

I'm giving him a groom's cake and sweet cufflinks as his gift. I'd love to get him the watch he wants, but it's just too much considering what I spent on the cake and cufflinks -- so it'll have to wait. I'm not sure if he'll get me anything, but I won't be mad if he doesn't.

OjitosVerdes

@AmJam04 - what type of cake are you getting your FI? I really like that idea, and think FI would love it. And not that it has any bearing on my decision-making at all, but it would also appease my very Southern mother who cannot conceive of a wedding not including a groom's cake. 

AmJam04

I'm getting him a mint chocolate chip cake (his favorite flavor) in the shape of his beloved project racecar. He has no idea, and I'm super excited about it

OjitosVerdes

@AmJam04 - you have inspired me. Just got off the phone with our baker.

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful

I am also just doing a groom's cake at the rehearsal dinner. FI is a huge hockey fan so I want it to be of his favorite team's logo. I haven't really thought about doing anything else other then a cheesy card

SB1512

I did boudoir photos and he is getting an album, it will be a complete surprise.

Belle0720

AmJam04 said:

I'm getting him a mint chocolate chip cake (his favorite flavor) in the shape of his beloved project racecar. He has no idea, and I'm super excited about it


My FI knows he's getting a grooms cake that looks like a tux, but what he doesn't know is that on top of it will also be an edible replica of his 66 mustang! I'm sooo excited for him to see it too :-) She's even going to hang a little 'just married' sign on the back of it. 

Belle0720

I got my FI a boudoir photobook and cufflinks and will probably also throw in a few cute little things  like socks 'so he doesn't get cold feet' some gum, mini booze, and his favorite cookies.

He also mentioned recently that he really wants a gopro to bring on our honeymoon but after already spending so much it just seems a bit overboard...we'll see

pesematology

I'm thinking about giving him Pantone cufflinks since his favorite color is 18-3943 and they happen to have cufflinks in that color since it was Pantone's color of the year 2008.

allispain

thecatm said:

Yeah we aren't officially exchanging gifts, but i'm surprising him with a groom's cake at our rehearsal dinner

Me too!!