FMIL wants to be apart of wedding.

EEY0RE9

My FMIL approached my FI and told him she was hurt that I haven't asked her if she wanted to help in the planning of our wedding. She had mentioned that she wanted his sister to be one of my bridesmaids and she wanted to help plan. Which I don't understand? I posted an earlier discussion about how I wanted to involve them but how they don't really care for me. Many brides said not to involve them at all unless they stepped forward. Now that they have what should I do? I definitely do NOT want his sister as one of my bridesmaids. any help?

misssunshine17

Tell her you've already picked your bridal party. You shouldn't feel bullied into having anyone. 

As for involving her, is there something you don't really care about that you could do together/pass the buck? So it's like her little project and stamp of approval. 

MairePoppy

Your fi could ask his sister to stand on his side of the wedding party. Or you could ask her to do a reading. 

Unless FMIL is paying for things, you're not obligated to involve her in the decision making. But it would be nice to keep her in the loop, maybe give her a few details as you go along. She could also help with the guest list for fi's side, if you want. Just be sure to let her know how many guests she should have on the list. You could ask her to fill in the seating plan for her side of the family or assemble favors if she wants things to do. Ask her to loan you something for your 'something borrowed.'

OliveOilsMom

I would only feed FMIL small pieces of info on the wedding.  I don't even think I would hand off a potentially meanial task to her.  And do not add FSIL as a BM.  Either state that your BP is set or have her stand up with FI.  From your initial post, I think she would do things to cause your planning and happy time to not go so easy for you.  Maybe have your FI ask FSIL to do a reading at the ceremony. 

cbrown828

I agree with both Retread and Olive. Be cautious here. You absolutely do not have to have FSIL as a BM. It's your and FI's wedding party, not hers. My FMIL has tried to take over several aspects of the wedding. We settled on letting her plan and host the rehearsal dinner, which she really wanted to do, and I show her pictures AFTER we have made decisions ("Here's the style of cake we picked!" "This is what the flowers will look like, aren't the pretty?" "Here's the dress my MOH will be wearing, isn't that color fantastic on her?") and after a minute of chit-chat, new topic. That has helped tremendously. She will email me things she likes, and my standard reply is something like "That's cute, I'll have a look at it when I have more time. Thanks for sharing!"

EEY0RE9

Omg thank you everyone! Great advice! So far what I've told her is our wedding date and that I have my entire bridal party already and I wanted it be an even number. Thank you once again!