Mother's Gifts

aphrodite0869

Hi all,
I was just wondering if MOB MOG and Grandmother gifts are a common thing at weddings.  When do you give the gifts and what kind of gifts are appropriate without breaking the bank?
Thanks,

MairePoppy

From a recent MOB. I didn't expect or want a gift from my daughter and SIL. We gave them $$ to used toward their wedding budget, so it seemed counterproductive to use part of that to buy us a gift. She bought us jewelry, which is lovely, but so unnecessary. The thank you note she wrote was very nice.

The one thing she gave me that I will treasure forever is a  picture of my entire family, in their lovely outfits, posing for a picture at her wedding. All my children, cousins, aunt and uncle, parents, brother and partners are in that picture with us and the bride and groom. Everyone looked so happy. I love it so much that I've had copies made for each household. How often do you have all the people you love in the same place, for a happy occasion? 

There is something really special about the photo. My husband's brother, who was his best friend, passed away in a car accident many years ago. In the background of the family portrait, there was a slide show running. As the photographer snapped our family photo, there was a picture of his brother placing the garter on my cousin's leg at my wedding, 35 years ago. My BIL was the life of the party at most gatherings, so he's really hamming it up in the picture. These are the kinds of things you just can't plan, but I can't tell you how good that picture makes us feel. 

MairePoppy

@RetreadBride   My husband, who is not a mushy guy, teared up when he saw his brother in the family photo. 

MobKaz

I grew up knowing that often, parents of the bride and groom were given gifts.  However, the gift giving was not simply because they were the parents of the bride/groom.  My understanding was that the gifts were given as a thank you gift to acknowledge any financial and/or emotional support.

OP, I would not necessarily call gifts to parents "common", or even expected.  I am unfamiliar with any tradition regarding gifting grandparents.  I don't know that parents expect a gift from their children.  I would certainly not want my children to do any "bank breaking" on my behalf.  A card with a heartfelt message always means a lot to me.

@Marie, our sentiments were akin to yours.  We did not want the children to use either their hard earned money or our gifted money to recycle into gifts for us.  Their cards were obviously the most touching and heartfelt.  However, both were adamant to gift us wedding picture related items, and it was appreciated.  They gave us the cards during a quiet moment prior to the wedding.  The pictures were given well after the wedding.

@Retread, I agree that I have not seen these "parent gifts" ever presented in a "displayed" manner, such as during a rehearsal dinner.  I guess this is why I always consider them more of a private "thank you" gift versus a contrived "wedding industry" gimmick.

kryan32

OP - at my first wedding, my cousin carried 2 white roses for us.  At the start of the ceremony, ex took one and gave it to my mother and I gave the other to his mother - they both really liked the gesture...

 

aphrodite0869

Thanks everyone.  We are paying for our whole wedding ourselves and I had never heard of parents gifts so I wasn't sure.  I just needed to budget it in and get some ideas if it was "proper" to get them.

erinlin25

some do, some do not its up to you.  FI gave his mom a nice card and photo album for when we get pictures she can fill.  I gave my mom a book about mothers & daughters and wrote her a nice note as well along with the same photo album we gave FI mom.  My dad likes to golf so I got him some ball markers that said Father of the Bride, with some golf tees and my FI got golf balls with our names/wedding date on it (not as a gift per say, but all the guys who went golfing the day of the wedding got two) so we put two of those with my dad's golf stuff.  he loved it.  Nothing pricy, but the thought that counts and it was personal for them, so it worked.

my dad's birthday is next week and I saved a nice frame for that, that says "Of all the dances I have danced, this one is my favorite" and will put a picture of us dancing at the wedding (I was a competitive dancer growing up).     

We gave the parents gift day after the wedding, when the families got together with us to open wedding gifts. We exchanged them in private so it was not a presentation or anything like that.

[Deleted User]

Before my wedding I got my parents each a small tray (glass and bronze for my mom, and a more masculine leather one for my dad) to keep on their night tables to hold things. They were just small gifts but something they could use every day and think of me. I dont think gifts to parents are necessary but I wanted to have a small gesture to say thank you for the support!