Attire & Accessories Forum

Wedding dress doubts...HELP!

Hey there fellow brides! 

I have a dilemma, and I need some unbiased advice. 
I bought my dress in October, and I absolutely fell in love with it (I'm still in love with it.) It was what I always pictured myself in and dreamed of. But now, every time I try it on, I can't get passed how fat/disgusting my back and arms look in it. That may be my ex-eating disordered brain getting to me, but I'm not sure. I often browse through other wedding dresses that would cover up those parts that I'm insecure about, and now it's got me all confused. 
I LOVE this dress. I just think it looks awful on me because of my back fat/arms. 
For the record, I am a size 6. I am not fat or overweight; I'm just very insecure. And this dress DOES push up my back fat. My mom and my future mother in law have both made comments about it.

Please help!


Re: Wedding dress doubts...HELP!

  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper

    Your mom and FMIL suck.  Seriously -- shame on them.  Even in the most hideous dress my mom still managed to get choked up because it was still her daughter trying on a wedding gown, despite it looking horrible on me. :)


    It sounds like your insecurities are just getting the best of you.  Don't listen to your mom & FMIL. Gather some of your bestest friends around and try it on and see how you feel then.

  • also if u really feel like u need to be a little more covered then ask the salon if you can have some kind of coverage added to the gown, either a strap some sleeves cap sleeves or a bolero
  • Have you had your dress altered yet? I'm guessing that if there really is something being pushed up it's just your skin because the dress might be a little tight around your chest. I have this problem a lot. Getting the chest taken out like 1 inch might cure the skin (not fat) being pushed out of the dress.
  • Your mom and FMIL are being cruel. Don't listen to them. Most of the time one's insecurities really aren't noticeable to the rest of the world.

    Does the dress sit comfortably? Have you gotten it altered yet? It may be just a little too tight or sit in a slightly odd manner. If it's really bugging you, take it to a seamstress and see what's going on.
  • Yeah, I'm on the "Your mom and FMIL suck" train. That's some BS and don't take it. 

    If you haven't gotten it properly altered yet, dresses can squeeze skin (SKIN not fat, mind you) around. Take it to a proper seamstress (who will tell you that the dress just doesn't properly fit you yet and there's nothing wrong with your body). 
  • Hon, I agree that your mom and MIL are being jerks. I also agree with taking your dress to another seamstress. I've been told in the past that the dress should be snuggest around your ribcage and down through your waist - that the majority of the weight of it should be supported there, so it can be a little bit looser at the very top so it won't pinch around your armpits, back, etc and push the skin (I agree with OP - not fat) up in those areas. 

    Also, I'm really sensitive about those same parts of my body. I started lifting weights in addition to doing some more cardio a couple weeks ago, and it is amazing how quickly weightlifting will tone up areas you're insecure about. Not suggesting you change your body type because of some crappy comments from your mom/MIL, but it might help you feel a little more confident. 

    A bolero could also be a good option if you're feeling really uncomfortable, but meet with a seamstress first. I'd hate for you to hide your body and beautiful dress because of a fixable fit issue. 
  • SBminiSBmini member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    With a mom like that, no wonder you had an eating disorder. I bet you look very nice in your dress. At the end of the day no one is going to say "did you see her arms!?" I would just try to look past it. Or look into coolsculpting right before the wedding to help tighten up those areas.

  • SBmini said:
    With a mom like that, no wonder you had an eating disorder. I bet you look very nice in your dress. At the end of the day no one is going to say "did you see her arms!?" I would just try to look past it. Or look into coolsculpting right before the wedding to help tighten up those areas.

    From what I understand, the results of coolsculpting take 6-8 weeks to see, and you can be pretty uncomfortable for a couple weeks after the procedure. 

  • I recently lost weight and when I tried on my dress, I felt appalled when I looked in the mirror. I asked the seamstress if the dress was too tight because off all the back fat that I was seeing. She sort of chuckled and I gave her a "WTF?!" look. She poked my "fat" area and pointed out that it was my shoulder blade and that almost everyone is self conscious of their shoulder blades because we're not used to looking at them with an investigating eye.

    The suggestions for boleros are great, it can come on and off with ease and keep you warm if it's chilly.


    Work on your confidence. It sounds like you don't need to worry about how you will look. You are going to be a beautiful bride!

  • Why not add sleeves or just straps to your dress? it will look better I think. I bought my sweetheart wedding dress online and use this option to add a detachable halter to it because, while I loved the sweetheart look, the gap between the top of my gown and my chin was so bare, it needed something and I didn't want to wear a lot of jewelry.  Here are before and after photos:
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