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Postit123

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AddieCake

nhauptmann said:

Hi Everyone,

I became engaged a little over a month ago and I still haven't been able to decide on who to pick for my MOH - it is a tough decision! This may be a bit of a long post, but I really need to figure this out asap.

My first instinct was to choose my Aunt to be my MOH. I do not have any siblings, and we are really close - almost like sisters with a large age gap (she's a little over 20 years older than me). I also have a really close best friend who will be a bridesmaid if I do choose my Aunt as the MOH. Both of them are far away from me. After thinking about it more though, I wonder if being an MOH isn't really my Aunt's forte. I've read about the responsibilities and I'm just not sure if she would be on the same wavelength. Don't get me wrong, she's very supportive of me, but she is not really a "girly" girl. She's also really practical and I'm wondering if the age difference will come to a glaring issue once all of the planning actually begins. I spoke to her on the phone about the wedding to try to get some sort of gauge but was pretty unsuccessful. I don't know... then another part of me wonders if she expects me to ask her and I certainly wouldn't want to upset her by not asking if that were the case.

The best friend is someone I'm really close to. She's also into wedding planning and such and I kind of feel like it would be easier to talk to her about all the wedding tidbits that will come up. I'm battling between two special people to me here!

We are having a small wedding party - MOH and two bridesmaids. I've already asked another friend to be a bridesmaid. If my Aunt is MOH that will leave one bridesmaid spot left for the best friend. This would also mean that all of my wedding party will not be in the same town as me which might get difficult. If I ask the best friend to be MOH, then that opens up a bridesmaid spot for a close friend I have living in the same town...which would be a nice support. We don't want to increase the size of the wedding party from that either.

I don't know, perhaps I'm making this more complicated than it should be... thoughts?

There are no responsibilities. Bridesmaids and the MOH walk down an aisle, hold some flowers or whatever, and smile for pictures. Whether or not your wedding party is all in the same town is not the least bit important, either, since again, all they have to do is show up and smile. Your wedding party does not need to be involved in the planning. 

How are there "spots" opened or closed? You can have as many or as few bridesmaids as you want. You do not have to have the same number of bridesmaids as your fiance has groomsmen. 

You could have both of them be MOH of you want, or not have a MOH at all. I had 2 bridesmaids and no MOH. They both did the same thing, so I saw no reason to designate one of them THE CHOSEN ONE. 

ambercarter123

It may not be required for bridesmaids to do traditional roles, but it sounds like you have someone who wants to be there for you and fill that role. That's great! That doesn't necessarily make them more qualified for MOH, however. I would go for the one who you feel is truly there for you and wants you to be happy. If it's both of them, consider two MOHs as other ladies have suggested. 

Postit123

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