Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invitation faux pas?

Hi there,

I'm in a bit of an awkward situation. I was very recently married. I received a wedding invitation to a good friend's wedding that's happening across the country and I would like to go because all of our common friends will be in attendance. The problem is that she only invited me and EXCLUDED my husband. She sent a note with the invitation about how she thought it would be "nice" if I came out by myself and split hotel costs with other friends. Am I the only person who finds this to be inappropriate? I just got married and I would like to bring my husband to introduce to my friends who were unable to come to my wedding because they couldn't afford to travel across the country. Also, when I invited this friend to my wedding (she did not attend), I included her fiance on the invitation despite having never met him. My wedding was 1/4 the size of hers, too (she's having over 300 people).

Thoughts?

Re: Invitation faux pas?

  • Totally inappropriate. I would decline. This person obviously is not supportive of your new, married life. 
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  • very rude not to include your husband.  Decline.  Its one thing if you chose to go solo and share a room with your friends, but it is definitely not a requirement.  I would not go without my husband!
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  • itzMSitzMS member
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    So ridiculous. Who the eff does she think she is?!?!
  • Very rude. If you want to go to see your friends, I'd call her up and tell her that the idea of a girl's night was sweet, but showing off your new husband sounds like more fun, and see what she says. I think it is pretty rude of her to assume you'd rather attend without him.
    ditto this.  If you really want to go I think you should at least ask if he'd be welcome.  If she says no then definitely decline.
  • That was very rude of her. I would decline.
  • Very rude. If you want to go to see your friends, I'd call her up and tell her that the idea of a girl's night was sweet, but showing off your new husband sounds like more fun, and see what she says. I think it is pretty rude of her to assume you'd rather attend without him.
    Ditto.  If you ask if he is welcome to attend and she says no, definitely decline.  Personally, I would also tell her exactly why I am declining.
  • I'd decline.  This invitation is intensely rude.
  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    WOW. Rude enough to only invite you and not your husband. Beyond rude to tell you that she's doing it because she thinks it'll be "nice" for you to come by yourself!

    I would either decline right away, or call her up and say, "I really appreciate that, but I would prefer to come with my husband. Is that all right?" and if she says no, or even spends more time trying to pressure you, then WHAM, decline.

    And I'd only do that if you'd still rather go and have your new husband meet your friends who couldn't attend.
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  • AddieL73 said:
    That is completely inappropriate. I am appalled and embarrassed for her. 


    I agree. The note doesn't help either.
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  • I imagine she's doing this to save space and still invite friends, when in reality it would have been less rude to leave you off the invite list altogether in order to save space. I would decline, and I would tell her why.
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  • hordolhordol member
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    That is horrible! There is no way in hell I would attend.
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  • I was all set to agree with this:  "Totally inappropriate. I would decline. This person obviously is not supportive of your new, married life. "

    But if you REALLY want to go, then do as the previous poster suggested.  Just put TWO on the card, and see what happens.

  •  I would RSVP for 2 and send a note, saying "thanks but no thanks I would rather bring my husband. let me know if this is a problem for you".........just kidding

     

    Seriously though I would be pissed. Even if I wanted to go I would decline based on that fact that my husband was outright not invited. I wouldn't bother asking either, she knew you would be confused and that's why she included the note.......which makes it worse

     

  • I'd give her the benefit of the doubt that she was just misguided and truly thought you'd enjoy going alone and sharing a room with your friends. I'd RSVP for 2 and include my own note saying you would prefer to attend with your husband. If she then told you that you couldn't bring him, I'd change my "yes" to a "no". 
  • I would decline! This is not some random guy in your life... it's your HUSBAND! I would call her and ask her if she was serious and if she is serious about him not coming I would decline and tell her exactly why.
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