Ringbearers wearing purple

SVike

I'm pretty angry at this, sorry if that comes across here... but I need to vent.

We didn't choose specific colours for our wedding, like teal and emerald green or anything like that. The guys are all wearing kilts, we can't match them. BUT the kilts are blue, green, orange and white... NOT purple. The bridesmaid dresses are blue. The flower girl dresses are white. When I first asked my mother in law about her two youngest sons being ringbearers she asked what I wanted them to wear and I said suits with white shirts.

My fiance and I also ordered them ties matching the kilts. Blue, green, white and orange. And they were not cheap. Now we've been informed that since their parents don't like the scottish heritage their other children choose to embrace, the two boys will not be allowed to wear these ties. And they will be wearing purple shirts. I don't care about everything matching but we already have too many colours!!! (For the record, these kids and my fiance are all 3/4 Scottish)

The worst part of all is that no one talked directly to us about this. My father in law sent an email about it to his sister, who showed it to me and my fiance when she realized we hadn't been told anything. So now I have to talk to them about it and probably be responsible for starting a fight! Ugh this is all making me so mad!

 

artbyallie

Let them wear different ties but insist on the white shirts because that's what they agreed to put them in?

Maggie0829

I agree with artbyallie.  Return he ties you bought and let them wear whatever ties the MIL would like to put them in.  As for the shirts, I would insist on the white shirts since that is what was agreed upon.  I get that they may not support your heritage but by so blatantly disregarding your was very rude of them.

SVike

Unfortunately we cant return the ties And its their heritage, not mine. I'm a tiny tiny bit scottish but not much. They're just weird.

CallaLily25

I would ask them to wear the white shirts and request that they pick a tie in a designated color. I'm sorry you can't return the ties, but I think forcing them to wear them wouldn't be the best choice.

MayberryAfterMidnight

I would also encourage you to get your FI to talk to his family directly about this - they are HIS family and it will keep you from seeming like the "bad guy" (I'm not saying you are, but that's what the in-laws may think if you're the one bringing it up with them). It's really frustrating they just made this decision without talking to you or your FI (their son). Agree with PPs on asking them to wear the white shirts you all agreed on and then maybe you and the in-laws could go shopping for the ties together, so everyone will be happy.

SVike

I think this is what we're going to try to do. except I don't want to argue over the cost of other ties (they are definitely penny pinchers) so we probably won't have them wear any.