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WWED? Bride and Groom "forgot" to notify guests about postponed OOT wedding...

Hi Guys,

I don't think I've ever posted on here, but I lurk from time to time (and you guys were a great help while I was planning my own wedding) and thought you might have some advice and/or might let me vent for a minute. My H is at work for another hour and I need to get this off my chest. Cliff Notes are at the bottom and I apologize if I start to ramble--I've been up for way too long and am tired, lol.

About a year ago and a half ago I got back in touch with an old childhood friend of mine, E. We used to be neighbors and really good friends before we both ended up moving to different states. Anyways, about two months ago my H and I received a wedding invitation from E and his fiance. I thought the invitation itself was a little odd, (looked like just a half sheet of paper that they printed out at home, and there was no rsvp card, just a phone number to call and there was no address for the ceremony, it just said "at the ____ family home") but didn't think too much of it, I just figured they were on a budget so no big deal. We tried to call to rsvp, but I don't think the phone had a voicemail box setup (it just continuously played this annoying ringback song). I finally wrote E a Facebook message telling him that we would love to see him at the wedding and would be booking our flights soon (I also let him know about the phone issue), to which he replied that he couldn't wait to see us and said they had a room block at a local hotel.

Anyways, fast forward to today. H and I have everything booked for the trip. We have plane tickets, hotel rooms, car rental,and a pet-sitter coming to stay with our 6 pets. I send E another message saying "hey, I can't wait to see you! I've been meaning to ask for the address of the wedding so I can add it to my GPS tonight--don't want to get lost on my way there! :p See you soon!" and in his reply he basically told me "hey don't worry if you don't have the address. We're actually not going to be getting married for another few weeks. We're just post-poning everything until then and we may not even be having it at my parents' house".

Now, I am just LIVID! (I rarely get ticked off, but this one did it). I understand that sometimes things come up and weddings need to be moved/postponed/whatever. But wouldn't you think to tell your guests what was going on, especially if they're going to be flying in from out of town and are spending several hundred dollars to get there? Ugh. What would you guys do in this situation? Is there anything we can do? I think I can talk to the hotel chain and cancel without them charging us a fee since I always stay at their hotels when I travel for work, but what about plane tickets? Is it even possible to cancel plane tickets less then 24 hrs of the flight? And it's too late for me to call the pet-sitter so I guess I'll have to call them in the morning and see what they say. I'm so upset right now I could scream. Anyways, what would you guys do in this situation? Would you try to recoup your money or do you think it's a lost cause?

Thanks for letting me vent and for any suggestions!

Cliff Notes: We're invited to a wedding out of town tomorrow night and have everything booked (plane, hotel, pet sitter, car rental, etc). Just found out tonight that the wedding is not going to proceed as planned, but we only found out about it because I sent the groom a Facebook message asking him for the address. Not sure if I should try to recoup the money we've already spent (several hundred dollars) or if it's just a lost cause because it's such short notice. Also, I've been up for over 24 hours and my brain is apparently not thinking clearly right now...

Re: WWED? Bride and Groom "forgot" to notify guests about postponed OOT wedding...

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    I'd try to cancel everything and not bother with this friend anymore unless he apologizes profusely.
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    I'd try to cancel everything and not bother with this friend anymore unless he apologizes profusely.
    That's what I don't get. When we talked online there was not even an "I'm sorry" or any explanation given (not that he owes me one, but it would be nice to know what's going on). The last few times we've talked he's mentioned how nice it will be to have the gang all back together again for the wedding. Like WTF man? 
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    Wow. This is one of the worst I've seen. I'm really sorry you're in this position. I would definitely let him know that because of the money you lost from the canceled travel plans 24 hours in advance, you will not be able to attend their wedding when it does happen. And then let go of that friendship. Unless, of course, he apologizes and offers to pay you back.

    I would be livid too.
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    Could you make a little mini vacation out of it seeing as the flight is the bulk of the expense and it's unlikely you can recoup those costs? I would be absolutely furious, but I know after some time to think about it, if I couldn't cancel the expensive part, I would probably go and do something else. 

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. I cannot even fathom doing this to someone, much less without an apology. 
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    That is so crazy unacceptable.  I don't think we would be friends anymore.  Like, I get postponements can be for very personal or embarassing reasons, but you have just GOT to notify people as soon as that decision is made. 
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    Previously Alaynajuliana


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    Gumby68 said:
    Could you make a little mini vacation out of it seeing as the flight is the bulk of the expense and it's unlikely you can recoup those costs? I would be absolutely furious, but I know after some time to think about it, if I couldn't cancel the expensive part, I would probably go and do something else. 

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. I cannot even fathom doing this to someone, much less without an apology. 
    Ditto this. If you can't refund the plane tickets for at least partial vouchers, I say look up if there's anything cool to do wherever the wedding is and do it.

    As far as what to say? Well if you're asking if you can ask them to pay you back, the answer is unfortunately no. And based on everything that's happened thus far you probably know that you wouldn't be getting anything out of them either.

    You could probably say something like, "Oh, You've postponed the wedding? I'm sorry to hear that. Well, as our plane tickets are for tomorrow, unfortunately we will not be able to come to the wedding in the coming weeks. I hope it's great!"
    At that point you could mention you'll be in town this weekend and see if he wants to hang out... but I get the impression you're sort of done with him?
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    If you can't get the plane tickets refunded, I would go. I would Also send another message saying how inconsiderate this was. And then never ever ever talk to these people again.
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    Incredibly rude, self-absorbed heathens.
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    hordolhordol member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Thanks everyone. I'm glad to know that I'm not overreacting about this. I talked to H and since our bags are packed and evything we're going to go ahead and take the trip. We've never been to Nebraska so might as well try to enjoy the weekend. Anybody know of any fun places to check out near Omaha? I think we'll use the $100 we were going to give as a gift on a nice dinner for us instead. I can't help but wonder who else has been left I'm the dark about this whole thing...
    I'm so sorry this happened to you, that's terrible! At least you will get a mini vacay out of it.

    I just went to Omaha for work a couple months ago and some of the locals were talking up the Zoo. It's apparently one of the best in the country, so you might want to check it out! I thought Omaha was beautiful for the very brief time I was there.
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    PitaPata Dog tickers
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    I am SO sorry. I would seriously never be able to forgive these people because of their serious lack of consideration for you. I'm wondering how many other people this has happened to. 


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    Use that ticket to fly out and yell at your shitty "friend".
    "I wish yo azz all tha dopest up in yo' marriages"
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    I really don't post, but seeing as this crappy person is from my city, I feel the need to make some suggestions.

    If you do end up making the trip to Omaha, this couldn't be a more perfect time. The baseball college world series is going on currently and our downtown area has a ton of stuff happening right now. Even if you don't like baseball, there are a lot of people that stick around the stadium for everything else happening there. It's probably the most exciting time of year for our city.

    The Old Market in the downtown area is usually very active on weekends.

    Our zoo is rated the best in the country, so I would definitely making a trip there.

    If you are looking for a nice dinner and enjoy steak, you are in the right part of the country. Sullivan's, Anthony's and Mahogany are all amazing depending on what part of town you are in.

    Enjoy the trip, and please don't let this one person be your example of people from this city. Not all of us are that inconsiderate.
    February Signature: Brian Head, Utah Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    I have nothing to add other than I'm so sorry this happened to you.  That was incredibly inconsiderate of your friend.  I hope you have a lovely mini-vacation and have an amazing date night with the money you were going to give as a gift!
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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    i think he DOES owe you an apology. You wasted a TON of money.

     

    If you can't get your money back, would it be worth it just to go anyway and have fun even if you don't go to the wedding? Is it at least a fun place to vacation?

     

    I would be mad. I would probably say something actually

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    What a crappy situation.  I would really not bother keeping in touch with them after all of this.  If you can cancel I would, otherwise enjoy a mini vacation get away.  

    Anniversary

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    I would totally show up at the reception location anyway. Just to make a point. Especially if the bride and groom are there. 
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    OK, yeah I'd be livid. I don't get angry about these things often, but you're definitely justified. Go and try to have a good weekend and put it out of your mind. It doesn't sound like you're going to get any apology or acknowledgement so I'd just let this friendship fall to the side.
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    Love the idea is making a trip out of it if you can't get your money back.

    What an ass. Honestly, I would tell him your exact situation so he realizes how you're affected by his lack of consideration, I would not attend the wedding, I would not send a gift (maybe a generic card but not even sure he's worth the postage), and cut ties.
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