2 year olds and their birthdays

Ajuliana

I get that it's easy to get wrapped up in your own life.  I'm pretty obsessed with my puppy and my wedding, for example.  But FIs SIL is going...cray.  

• Never sent us an invitation.  Just wrote "and FI" on FIs dad's invitation that went to a house he hasn't lived in since 2008.  
• Only invited me (and I presume lots of others) via facebook.  Then texted me a reminder to RSVP.  Seriously, that's how you plan party attendance now, with a social media site that I only check once a month?
• Keeps making snide comments about how her husband will "deal" with FI (they are brothers)  for not coming.  Mind you we only found out about this party two weeks ago, and FI had plans months prior for a prepaid trip with his friends.  

Not to mention the text I just received that said "Princess wants to know when she will get happy birthday wishes on facebook!"  How about never.  Your two year old can't read.

ETA:  I don't want to DD, but just wanted to clarify I wrote my niece a happy birthday facebook post. NOW: What on earth do you buy a 2 year old for their birthday??  

Teddy917

Stuffed animal, kids movie, etc. I wouldn't do something very expensive, since it will probably be played with for five minutes and then ignored.

kipnus

I honestly don't see the point of celebrating kids' birthdays before age...four or so? They won't miss it. I'm also a fan of inviting no more guests than the age of the birthday child.

Simply Fated

Picture books. Stuffed animals. Clothes. At two they really start developing interests. Well, more like preferences. Ask their wackadoo parents lol.

Birthday parties at that age are more for the parents than for the kids. Unless I'm close to the family, I decline.

AddieCake

kipnus said:

I honestly don't see the point of celebrating kids' birthdays before age...four or so? They won't miss it. I'm also a fan of inviting no more guests than the age of the birthday child.

I think I love you. 

yellowrose314

kipnus said:

I honestly don't see the point of celebrating kids' birthdays before age...four or so? They won't miss it. I'm also a fan of inviting no more guests than the age of the birthday child.

agreed. One of my BIL's demanded absolutely everyone in the family (which is about 30 people) come to niece's 1st birthday a few years ago. Mind you about 1/3 of those people live across the country, and he thought it was completely unacceptable that they wouldn't make the $1000+ trip to come to the party. Seriously? She doesn't even know where her feet are let alone that all her aunts and uncles will be there... Not to mention that after 7 pm, the kid was still up, getting ridiculously cranky and everyone with the exception of DH, me, and a few others were getting totally hammered... at a 1 y.o's birthday party... classy.

As for presents, I agree with @snippet17, books are a great gift, and she'll be getting to the age where she's starting to talk and read basics. Robert Munch put out some great redo's of his classics, which are targeted towards toddlers (less writing, more pictures). Our niece looooves them.

Ajuliana

A Mexican theme?  Are they Mexican?  I don't know if that's okay or not, lol.  Although, I would never be one to turn down a Margarita!  Thank you all for the advice.  I think books are the way to go.  Her mom, FSIL, prefers to let her daughter watch tv than read, and will probably think it's a shitty gift, but her priorities are wack.  Case in point: When our niece was 8 months old, FSIL&FBIL were late to FMIL's PHD graduation ceremony because, and I quote, "The baby wanted Jamba Juice."  

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful

I think Pinterest is causing unnecessary parties and the themes! There are a lot of co op groups on Facebook, most cater to moms and kids stuff (I don't have kids but my sister does and added me). I use them to stock up on baby toys at awesome prices to use as gifts since all my friends and co workers are having babies.

Ajuliana

@RetreadBride I loved your post.  

FSIL was always a little cray-cray, but now she is one of those scary attachment parenting moms.  

*Disclaimer:There is a reasonable way to attachment parent, but hers consists of only feeding her child cookies, candies, sweets, and juices, plopping her in front of the television instead of reading or taking her out for a walk, taking multiple photo shoots of her kid dressed up in stupid costumes (so far this year, it has been as a mermaid, a fairy, and strangest of all, the Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz), and just overall being obsessive.  I think at the party tomorrow she will probably proclaim the child a Indigo child.

Ajuliana

@Harry87 for FIs cousins 5th birthday, I bought him a box set of Duck Tales DVDs.  Apparently even with the old style cartoons, he loves it, and so does his dad!  Win-win.  But this will be a book birthday!  Recommendations?  I always love a good classic, but at Christmas I already gave her a compilation of Disney fairy tales.

@Liatris2010 In addition to a book, I will absolutely take you up on the advice of the loudest toy in existence.  Wasn't it also you that recommended books of etiquette with notes stating the bride needed it?  I loved that as well.  You are officially my "go-to" present advisor.  

Ajuliana

@Stage My bad I suppose, those are more the things that annoy me as a bystander (and I know I shouldn't comment on someone elses parenting, but I digress).  She's a stay at home, never let's the kid stay with anyone else more than three hours and texts constantly to check in, kid still sleeps in their bed, etc.  Is that more what it's about?  I don't have kids, I just thought the term mostly applied to being a helicopter parent and obsessing over your kid...is that not what it is?

Simply Fated

Harry87 said:

This book. My young childhood condensed.

That was one of my favorite books growing up!

NerdyLucy

Harry87 said:

This book. My young childhood condensed.

I loved loved loved this as a child.

Ajuliana

@Liatris2010 that was still hilarious, and sage, advice.  

I still think the cover your plate rule is ridiculous.  Why should I have to give you more money just because you opted to have a fancier wedding?  I give what I can afford to every event, and only the rare exception gets more, regardless of if it's a champagne brunch or a five course meal at a country club.

Ajuliana

No margaritas=no go.

banana468

I'm not going to lie.   We had the grandparents, my aunt and uncle and a couple with their own 2 yo over for DD's 2nd birthday and it had a theme.

The adults ate lasagna and had plenty of beer and wine and then we consumed the theme dessert - ladybug cupcakes.     DD's birthday present was a ladybug pillow pet.

southernbelle0915

FI's cousin had a bday party for her 2y/o - they live across the country and the whole family gave us shit for not attending... Really? Now 1/2 these same relatives have declined our wedding.

I would get the kid something very small along with a card. I wonder if Princess will write you a thank you note...?

BlondieBia21

Pinterest and social media are taking over the world!! Now don't get me wrong, I love pinterest- but I feel like it is taking over the world! And with facebook, it makes every life event a competition of who can do the cutest stuff for kids who won't even remember. Things that should be special and personal are now a "who can do it best." 

I say get her books. Books are something that even though the child may not understand at the point in time, they will have a positive affect on the child, helping their development in many different ways. And also get a very loud toy, just so some fun is had, too!  

krizzo17

At that age, in my family, we give a savings bond and a gift typically $5 or less so the kid has something to "open". And as far as I'm concerned, first birthday parties are a celebration for the parents for surviving (and having a few drinks as they realize they have 17 more years to go)

PrettyGirlLost

This thread is part of the reason the STFU, Parents blog exists.

I enjoy kids, but some parents drive me to drink!  OP, I'd take screen caps of these and all future gems and submit to STFU, parents ;-)

TheBaysideBride

yeah, one of my BM's has her 1-year-old's bday party this month - from 3-5 pm on a monday! HELLO! the rest of us work!! I had to schedule a meeting close to her place so i can stop by. crazy.

Ajuliana

@RetreadBride Normally she is crazy but in a fun way. And don't worry, I found a princess book that makes really loud ass noises that Princess can hit the whole time Momosaurus tries to read it to her!  

And technically, this birthday party was a Tinkerbell Princess Party...not sure how to break it to SIL that Tinkerbell wasn't a princess, just a fairy.  She is NOT as cool as Sookie Stackhouse.

keochan

Puzzels, encourage some brain stimulation in the poor kid. My 3 yo brother LOVES puzzles and books, I really don't think you can go wrong

TKzilla

Harry87 said:

This book. My young childhood condensed.

I'mma let you finish, but Grover had one of the best Little Golden Books of ALL TIME!

I used to love that book and now I read it to the kids I babysit and THEY love it.