Just for fun, worst ettiquete no no's you've seen?

Stina51286

Most recent one was last week. We got an invite to a wedding for Aug. It had my name and guest. The bride and I have known each other for ten years, she's known my FI for the whole 5 years we've been together. She also knows we are getting married in October. Her RSVP where the postage is supposed to go, said "place stamp here", no postage included.

Last year my sister got married in August. Her H and her both got themselves NY Strip while the rest of us has broasted chicken. She then complained that her pepper steak was too peppery. She tried telling me it is common for the B&G to have different food than the other guests. She didn't believe me when I told her it was completely rude and guests make bad assumptions to that.

jaenella

I have two really bad ones:

1) I was invited to a wedding reception as 'guest' with my FI, then uninvited a week before because they ran out of space (more 'yes' RSVPs than they expected, I guess)! And they asked my FI to uninvite me (instead of sending me a message themselves) over facebook.

2) I was invited to a wedding with FI, and then uninvited because one of the bridesmaids (his friend from university) wanted him to be her date.

hardlyhannah

1. Wedding for friends of ours where we were invited to the ceremony, not dinner, and invited back for the dancing part of the reception. Same wedding also had a cash bar.

2. Baby shower where we were told to 'bring cash for the raffle - win a prize and proceeds go to expecting couple!'

3. 1st birthday party for same couple where we were told 'if you can't make it send the birthday boy a card at <address>' andplusalso 'Bring plenty of cash and coins to fill birthday boy's piggy bank!' I was invited via Facebook, but apparently real invitations went out as well because they posted a picture of the invite (where the offending statements were printed) on the event wall.

SewInLoveWithDMB

Most of the weddings I have attended have been really nice. There are some however that have little moments that stand out.

• One was really small and casual, but had a cash bar. The ceremony took place in the same room as the dinner, and there was a short period of dancing. All was fine except that cash bar! I'm not sure what the bride was thinking making that decision!
• 5+ years ago, we attended a wedding and have yet to receive a thank you note.  Ridiculous.
• Have received a few "Miss My Name and Guest" even though we had been together longer than all the couples who got married before us. I'm tempted to write "Mrs. Their Name and Guest" on their invites...but obviously never would...although it is mighty tempting!

mochietoe

My friend since third grade got married in 2011. I was one of her bridesmaids. There were many etiquette issues:

1. We were never asked a budget for our dresses and then they were $150 (I had to pay even more for extra length cause the bride wanted it cause I am taller (I am only 5'6")).

2. We were given a day before/day of itinerary where we were EXPECTED to be her slaves and do the bouquets, help finish the centerpieces, set up the ceremony/reception space, do her place cards etc.

3. No food was provided for most of the set up until we all were saying how hungry we were so they got 2 hot and ready pizzas but nothing to drink (we helped from 9am to 5pm). If you expect help, host the help properly.

4. We were told the get to the ceremony site at 9am to start setting up the day of. The bride/the rest of her family did not show (with all the stuff to set up) till 10:30.

5. The bridesmaids were told we could get whatever shoes we wanted but they had to be bronze (very limiting).

6. They had a honeymoon registry

7. They had insert cards of where they were registered in the invitations

8. They did not do a receiving line or table visits

9. This is not an etiquette thing but her rabbi was an ass. He was yelling at the bridal party and just not nice to anyone.

10. I am sure there is more but I just blocked them out! 

mochietoe

@coopergirl15

Yes, it is currently as intact as it was before. She is invited to my wedding but is not a bridesmaid (I am not having any). I did think about having her as one and treating her just as crappy as she treated all of us, but I am a bigger person. She has always thought the world revolves around her though (her parents provided that mentality) so I was not too surprised! 

hardlyhannah

We're still friends with the people who tier invited us, and they're invited to our whole wedding. We don't see them often, but that's more because they have 2 young kids and work different shifts than because the friendship is dissolved. I don't think they even see each other frequently!

SewInLoveWithDMB

coopergirl15 said:

@SewInLovewithDMB and @mochietoe, I understand the wanting to do unto others. I think we've all had experiences with weddings where we wish we could make those who mistreat us understand our point of view. Who here besides Mochie has taken the high road with someone who has committed an etiquette faux pas? How did it turn out for you?

I was the maid of honor for an awful girl I'm really no longer friendly with. She told me I was "too tall and will ruin her photos" and "it's not her fault that (my then) boyfriend won't marry me, so I can't take it out on her."  (And of course, I am now marrying him. We just weren't on her time schedule.)

I did nothing awful to this person - hosted all of HER friends to a bachelorette party in a beach house owned by my family (but she wanted it hosted at our OTHER beach house. I know that sounds obnoxious on my part in a way...but seriously...she was upset it wasn't in MY house of HER choosing...wtf!? And, her family also has a house at her "preferred beach location" but we weren't "allowed" to go to her own house...which I guess I understand, but she said it was because she didn't want to come home to her parents from her bach party. I fully get that....but then SHE INVITED HER OWN MOTHER ALONG! How does that follow? The mom was there anyway!) I helped her mom with shower games and planning (although her mom hosted the majority of it), bought her a super nice shower gift, give an appropriate wedding gift, etc. 

So, she didn't commit any etiquette faux pas for her actual event - but she did make comments like, "I can't wait until it's your wedding and people give you as much sh!t as I'm getting."  And "Just wait until I'm in your wedding party" - that sort of thing. Again, there is nothing that I did wrong! I just don't get it. Anyway...

There was a point I honestly wanted to cut the (ugly) dress into little pieces and ship it to her house in an envelope. I decided to go through with the event (cause if I dropped out, she'd somehow twist it around that I did something horrible...she wouldn't see I dropped out cause of her behavior.)

That was in 2010, and I have seen her twice since then.  She is invited to our wedding, but I honestly don't think she'll come. If she does, awesome. There was never any big blow out or fight (beyond the planning fights and whatnot) - but never a "friendship ending blow out."  We just lost touch. She has not yet rsvp'ed to the shower either. 

But those that wrote "and guest" on the envelope? No biggie. I was annoyed and FI and I rolled our eyes, but oh well. The no thank you leaves a bit more bitter taste and I feel I have done a smidge less for them due to it (less baby gifts, for example, than others who did appear a bit more appreciative. But nothing overly noticeable.) Open bar couple? They got divorced! I am still very close with the girl however.

Stina51286

Im still waiting on a thank you note from my sister for both her shower and her wedding.

mochietoe

That wedding I was in I did not get a thank you note for the shower and I got one for the wedding in January for her October 9th wedding. The note congratulated us on our engagement (Dec 22nd) so it was not like the notes were sitting around, they just didn't do them for along time.

stefanielynn25

This one wedding I went to in 2010 was a gem. The couple was the first in my group of friends to get married, so I suppose I could cut them some slack. But I'm not. 

-My boyfriend (now my fiance) and I were invited as Mr. Fiance's Name and Guest. This is particularly funny because we've known the groom since high school, and the bride for about 3 years, and were both frendly with the two of them. In fact, I am the one that got to two of them together in the first place.  

-They spelled my name wrong twice, two different ways (wrong on the shower invite, and wrong on the place card, misspelled differently). 

-Half-way through the bachelorette party (the bride planned her own and I was not invited to it, which was no big deal), the bride drunk-dialed me asking if I could come to her house and take her and her BMs to another bar...at 1 am. 

-Cash bar - which is typically the norm in my circle, so I wasn't surprised by this, but the drinks were crazy expensive - $11 for a vodka soda!

-Registry info EVERYWHERE

-no thank you note for the shower. But I did receive a thank-you note from the wedding which was only addressed to me (FI and I lived together), and not received until a year later. 

SewInLoveWithDMB

coopergirl15 said:

@hardlyhannah and @SewInLovewithDMB, good for you two being the bigger people. Especially after being treated as badly as MOH as Sew was, with the disparaging comments about my height, relationship state and otherwise having to deal with as demanding a brat as the bride happened to be, the friendship would not have survived in any fashion were I in the same position. I also confess that not getting a thank you note after a wedding irks me, and I would be inclined to spend less on the offending couple. Also, not doing thank you notes for three to nine months after a wedding?? Pretty bad.

Thanks! i didn't want to have a weird, huge fight. I know that her behavior was bad, but she'll never see it. The relationship just fizzled, and I'm ok with that. If I see her again, we can be pleasant to one another, but I know that I can't rely on her and she's just deep down, a big jerk!

(She did however call me when I got engaged. But we hadn't posted anything on facebook for about a week, so she called me thinking it had JUST happened - cause, ya know, she figured she'd know immediately. When I told her how it had happened the previous weekend, she was all 'You mean it didn't happen just now?" Ha. Oh well!)

archerstar

I have a friend who did not send me a thank you for, get this: her engagement party (for which she sent out REGISTRY info, and yes I brought a gift), her wedding shower, her wedding gift, her baby shower, and the gift I gave her after the baby was born (I would have overlooked that one if not for the others). Needless to say, I skipped the baptism!

Kate McCay

I was at a wedding this past weekend and they were very inconsiderate to their guests. Just to name a few:

• To start off the invitation listed their registries and was only addressed to me even though I got engaged right after her and she kept saying she was looking forward to seeing both of us there

• The wedding was 2 1/2 hours away from the town that they lived in and the next closest hotel/town is 2 hours away (it was in Alaska) so everyone had to drive at least 5 hours on the day of their wedding.

• Also two days before she posted on facebook that we should add an hour onto that time for construction they were doing. Not only was this frustrating but anyone not on facebook didn't know and people were showing up late.

• When we finally did get there, their wedding site was not made for weddings or large groups of people so there was NO parking anywhere.

• After the ceremony they made everyone pick up the their own chair and take it to the reception area.

• They had no assigned seating just two long tables so it was awkward to find seats and there wasn't enough for everyone.

• The brides family was the ones taking care of all the food and serving it so most of them didn't even get a break for the whole wedding. Including her mother who was running around the whole time trying to take care of things.

• After the first dance they started packing up the wedding and tearing down everything before it was actually over.

• They bride and groom didn't talk to anyone except for their wedding party

The whole time I had to keep reminding myself that it's not my wedding. 

SilverSarahB

3. They sent the invites 4 months before the wedding. (I guess we were super A-listed)

Why is this a bad thing?  Early invites don't mean B-listing.  That said, I sent my invites out more than 4 months prior, so I guess I just don't see why it would be rude.