Wedding Invitations & Paper

Does a given name need to be used in all circumstances?


I am currently working on my invite list as we will be sending out STDs next month for our April 2014 wedding (most guests will be coming from out of town since neither my fiancé or myself is from the town we currently live in and are having the wedding). 

As I am collecting addresses, I have run across two friends that I am not sure how to address:

Friend 1 - her first name is Martha but she does not go by this name for anything other than documents that legally require her given name.  Her middle name is Elizabeth and she goes by "Lizzie".  I would never call her "Martha" or "Elizabeth" in real life, but I still feel funny about just putting "Ms. Lizzie Doe" on the STD and then on the invitation when the time comes.  Can I ignore using her given name in this case?  Or should I just ask her what she would prefer or is asking something that a guest would think is weird?

Friend 2 - this is the wife of one of our mutual friends.  Her first name is Dorothy, but the only reason I know that is because her husband will sometimes call her that in a playful, teasing way.  She goes by "Dorie" for everything, even on LinkedIn.  I know that on the invite I will have "Mr. & Mrs. John Doe" on the outer envelope but I would I need to put "John & Dorothy" on the inner one or could I get away with "John & Dorie"?  Again, should I just ask them what they would prefer?

What do you think?

Re: Does a given name need to be used in all circumstances?

  • Assuming it's a formal wedding, I mostly agree with CMGr, but would address correspondance to the first friend you describe to "Ms. M. Elizabeth Lastname," as I know several people, including my DH, who don't go by their first name because they really don't want to go by their first name, and despite what they're forced to put on their legal documents, these people prefer to be addressed by at least some form of their chosen name.
  • Oh this is perfect! I never thought to use just the first initial of her given name and spell out the middle name.  It's definitely a case where she dislikes her first name so I'm glad to find a way not to use it but still sound formal.  Thanks!


This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards