When do I choose my girls?

linziann21

I have only been engaged for two months (not very long I know)...I know who I want and I am very firm on who I want to be a part of my day (which is in 4 years because I have to finish college first)...When do I present my offer to the girls? Is now too soon or should I wait till I'm at least a year into my engagement?

HELP!!!

manateehugger

Whoa! If you're still four years out, absolutely DO NOT ask anyone for at least three years. Trust me - friendships will change as you go through college.

I'm glad you're waiting before getting married. Finishing your education first is a very wise idea. Romantic relationships change too.

linziann21

thanks for the advice! I would hope that me and my hubby to be wont fall apart haha but I understand that friendships change and I hope mine dont with the girls that i want as my maids of honor (I grew up with them my whole life and they are like family to me) but I will listen and heed your advice...thanks alot! 

itzMS

linziann21 said:

thanks for the advice! I would hope that me and my hubby to be wont fall apart haha but I understand that friendships change and I hope mine dont with the girls that i want as my maids of honor (I grew up with them my whole life and they are like family to me) but I will listen and heed your advice...thanks alot! 

Oh, wow, you have sooooo far to go. So you're currently about 18-22 years old?

Trust me as someone about 10 years older than you, that relationships change. A lot.

Please ask them in June 2016 at the earliest and in the meantime enjoy being engaged and getting a good education.

manateehugger

linziann21 said:

thanks for the advice! I would hope that me and my hubby to be wont fall apart haha but I understand that friendships change and I hope mine dont with the girls that i want as my maids of honor (I grew up with them my whole life and they are like family to me) but I will listen and heed your advice...thanks alot! 

Well - he's not your hubby yet. I'm not meaning to be a downer on any of your relationships. But until you go through college, it's hard to see all the life changes people will go through. Personalities change. Even if they don't, asking your friends now makes it hard to ask the friends you will make in the next four years to be bridesmaids.

I have a friend I've known since I was about 10 and we were best friends all through grade school. When we went to different colleges, we kind of grew separate lives. We are still good friends, but she won't be a bridesmaid in our wedding.

Ally1120

Absolutely wait! When I started college, the girls I wanted to stand by my side are not really a huge part of my life anymore, nothing dramatic happened, but we met new friends and slowly drifted apart. Things do change on the friendship front throughout those four years and there are people I met and became friends with during college who I am way closer with and would rather have them in my bridal party (and I am!). Bottom line is, WAIT! You will be glad you did!   

wittykitty14

PDKH said:

thanks for the advice! I would hope that me and my hubby to be wont fall apart haha but I understand that friendships change and I hope mine dont with the girls that i want as my maids of honor (I grew up with them my whole life and they are like family to me) but I will listen and heed your advice...thanks alot! 

Well - he's not your hubby yet. I'm not meaning to be a downer on any of your relationships. But until you go through college, it's hard to see all the life changes people will go through. Personalities change. Even if they don't, asking your friends now makes it hard to ask the friends you will make in the next four years to be bridesmaids. I have a friend I've known since I was about 10 and we were best friends all through grade school. When we went to different colleges, we kind of grew separate lives. We are still good friends, but she won't be a bridesmaid in our wedding.

OP said "hubby to be".

Anyway, you have SO much time to decide!  If your wedding is 4 years, it's a good idea to wait AT LEAST 3 more, like PPs have said.

Relationships definitely change, even ones that may surprise you.  I only keep in touch with two friends that I had from birth through high school.  I only keep in touch with 2 friends from college.  I anticipated that I'd stay friends with more people than this.  There were a few people that I was close with at the start of college, and then we drifted apart MASSIVELY, to the point where I strongly dislike some of them.  One in particular, I thought she was going to be a friend for life.  Over time, her true colors came out and I do not want her in my life anymore.  I hate her guts.  On the flipside, you may develop a wonderful friendship with someone that you haven't even met yet!  You never know how things will turn out! 

Try to relax and just enjoy being engaged!  Congrats btw!  You've got plenty of time to plan, so there's no need to worry about now.  Good luck in school!