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MOH vs. Fiancee

My MOH is my best friend of nearly 20 years, we've had our fights and ups and downs but our friendship has grown and endured. My fiancee thought she was always kind of flaky but never made a fuss about it. He and I have been together 7 years and just got engaged a few weeks ago, but the trouble between the two of them started a few years ago at a mutual friend's bachelorette party.

Scenario: 2 years ago- We had made it back to the hotel suite after a great dinner and were sitting with a bottle of wine and having some girl talk. My MOH was getting a little tipsy and asked me when my boyfriend and I were going to get married (we'd been together about 5 years). I told her that he and I had talked about it and we agreed that when we both felt that it was right we would get married but that I was happy with the status quo. She then began to sob and blurted out "I'm just so sad for you!". Excuse me? This led to a huge fight and I planned on not telling my boyfriend about the conversation. A few days later I let some of what happen slip and afterhe asked me what happend I told him what she said. He was furious and understandably so has not had a great opinion of her ever since.

Fast forward two years and he and I are planning our wedding, I've always wanted her to be my MOH and my fiancee has no problem with her being in that position. About a week after announcing our engage meant I get an out-of-the-blue text from her that reads: "Just thinking of you and how happy I am that you and (fiancee) are getting married! I'm so proud of you and realized I like (fiancee) so much better now - LOL! I guess subconsciously I was withholding my approval but I feel so much more comfortable now, I could just give him a hug! Congratulations again love!"

This was about a week ago and I have yet to tell my fiancee about it because I don't want to cause any more issues but it is really starting to bug me. If she has a deeper issue with him should I push this conversation with her? I need some neutral advice.

Re: MOH vs. Fiancee

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    Sounds to me like she just doesn't want to be 2nd best in your life. I think her text about withholding his approval was her way of kidding around. I really think she just has issues that she will be replaced in your life after you are married. Maybe she was worried that you had spent so many years with him, and that he was never going to step to the plate. Some people don't really believe the best in people so even though he reassured you that "when he was ready it'd happen" she may have taken that as a cop out. I do not think it's worth mentioning to your fiance, unless you really want him to say she can't be in the wedding. I believe you should just say,
    "BFF, I am happy. I am very happy and I can't wait to marry FI. I just want you to know how important you are to me, and you always will be. I appreciate your support, and your ongoing support because I don't plan on dealing with anyone who is negative about us." 
    She really just may be feeling replaced.
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    Like PP, I feel like she's ust afraid of losing you. Let her know how important to you she is and how she will remain a bg part of your life. It's not because you are getting married that your friendship will change/end.

    Good luck!

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    Am I missing something? I've reread you'r post and can't find a problem. 

    The message your best friend sent you was very sweet. You should assume she's sincere. It's sad that you let a stupid, drunken conversation bother you for two years. Why do you think your fiance would be upset that your best friend likes him and is happy for you? I think you should show him her message. And I also think he's a great guy for not trying to keep her out of the wedding party.


    This.
    I'm also confused what the problem is.
    In fact this could even be a subtle apology for what happened two years ago. It could be her way of saying that she knows you know she had reservations in the past but now she's super happy. And while no, you do not require her approval or blessing... I think it's nice that she'd give it.
    If you'd tell your husband ANYTHING about this just say that MOH is really excited and happy for us both and seems to be really supportive. Because that's how it reads to me.

    For what it's worth... I know everyone's relationship needs to go at its own pace and that sounds exactly like what you and your FI were doing. But I've been the friend to people who were strung along, I've been friends with people who were stringing others along, and also friends who I was worried could be being strung along. And when you have a friend you love, and you worry that there's a chance the person they are with isn't serious about them, you worry.
    A good friend never wants to see her friend get her heart broken... she doesn't want to see her wait for a proposal that will never come. Because she's protective.
    So yeah, she didn't understand your relationship because she wasn't the one actually in it. So she said something that came off as hurtful to you. And while it probably wasn't her business or place to say it, not even knowing this person I'd bet money that she only said it because she was trying to be protective of you. She wanted to make sure the guy you were with deserved you and knew what a good thing he had. And now she thinks he does, so she's letting you know.
    It's a good thing from where I'm sitting.
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    Add me to list of people who are confused.  Perhaps she blurted out that she feels so bad for you because she thought your FI was never going to propose and after 5 years, she felt you had been led around by him.  That is how I take her drunken confession.  But seeing as you and FI had been discussing your futures together, there isn't any reason to be concerned, unless you were constantly telling her, I don't know why he won't propose already!  Your friend is happy for you!  Isn't that a good thing?
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    You ladies are right, I guess I just misread what she was saying as a snarky comment and worrying that there might be a problem later on down the road. Thank you guys for your unbiased opinions!! I am going to quit making mountains our of mole hills!! <3
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    Maybe you all need to stop drinking.
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    Would you prefer a text saying the opposite?  You sound extremely difficult to please.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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