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Bridal party...and relatives

bride2b71614bride2b71614 member
5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hello Everyone!

I have a question about wedding party etiquette. Is it mandatory that my FI's sister be in the wedding party? When I've asked this question I often receive mixed answers, some say it is, others say it isn't.

A little background, my FI and I have been together for four years now. His sister and I are friendly towards each other but we are not super close. I am trying to limit my wedding party to four people. If I were to exclude her, would this be a major faux pa? Please let me know! 
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Re: Bridal party...and relatives

  • bakeriebakerie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Nope, not mandatory at all. Pick only people you are closest too.
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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    Not mandatory at all, but it is a nice gesture IMO.  FI sister was not "my nearest and dearest" but we get along and she wanted to be a bridesmaid (she straight up asked before we even got engaged,lol).  If she was someone I did not know at all or did not get along with I definitely would not have asked her to be in it-- but since we were friendly, I included her and was happy to have her apart of it. 

    I would definitely say do not include her out of obligation, for that is usually a known and never turns out well.  Some girls just do not care to be a bridemaid in their brothers wedding.  So every situation can be different.   
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  • kahaywakahaywa member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    I'm not even having my OWN sisters as bridesmaids! We don't have the best relationship and it would just feel awkward for every one. You said that you were friendly, maybe you could invite her to lunch or just some general girl time stuff and see how it works. And even if you decide not to have her in the wedding party itself you can still include her in a lot of things! Unless you are planning a bare-bones simple wedding/reception, there are all kids of crazy decisions to make, and she can bring a whole new viewpoint of your FI too. For example, she could tell you what his fave treat as a kid was and you could slip it into the dessert table as a surprise. There are all kinds of thing sibs know/ remember that parents don't and that WE even forget, especially if they the older :)
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Of course not. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I think dynamics are something you should consider. Can you include her by asking her to do a reading? That is what I did for my brother's fiance. 
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  • VadersValkyrieVadersValkyrie member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    When my brother got married, they decided on "no family" for the bridal party; she has two sisters, and then there's me.  They went the friends approach and, while it raised a few eyebrows from the more traditional set, it all worked out.
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  • cmclairecmclaire member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Not mandatory at all.  I included my FSIL because I get on super well with her and we are close - if that wasn't the case I would not have asked.

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  • ChloeaghChloeagh member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    People keep asking us if we're having my brother and FI's sister in the wedding party. Apparently it is tradition and expected. Well, my brother might not even be invited to the wedding and I am not a huge fan of FI's sister. She wants to be involved somehow, so we'll figure something out (apparently in FI's family it is a huge honor to be an usher or help in some other way; I don't even want ushers).
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  • Bubbles2014Bubbles2014 member
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    Nope, not at all. FI should have her if he wants to, though. We are having a groomswoman, and plenty of people do it. My sister and I aren't close but I might ask her to do a reading, just to keep my mum happy. This could also be an option for you!

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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Not mandatory at all.   My brother wasn't a GM in my wedding and that was fine by all of us.   We did ask him to do a reading though. 
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  • mrsbizzzmrsbizzz member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with several PPs. It is absolutely not mandatory that she be included. You want to include people that mean a lot to you and have played an important role in your life. If you get asked why she is not included, you can say you wanted to keep the party small.
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  • AjulianaAjuliana member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    We are doing ALL family, but that's because we wanted it that way. It's up to you.
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  • bride2b71614bride2b71614 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Thanks for your help! I actually talked through it with my FI. He was totally understanding, and said that its my wedding party and I could choose what to do with it. I know that I can hold my head high to nay sayers, but its always nice to get confirmation from others! 
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