Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth

Groom's Sister included in Wedding

Ok, I need advice. My fiance's sister and mom think that his sister should be in my wedding party. I have already decided on 5 girls (close friends and my sister) to be bridesmaids. I am not close to his sister as we don't ever hang out. I find it extremely awkward for her to expect to be in my wedding party as I would never expect to be in hers when she gets married. She got mad a few years ago when she wasn't in my fiance's brother's wife's wedding party.
I don't feel like I have to put her in my wedding party because I already have close friends and my sister but I don't want to cause tension either. Is there another way to have her included? We're most likely going to have a short ceremony so weren't planning on readings or anything but I want her to feel as though she has some part to play. Any feedback or suggestions would be much appreciated!

Re: Groom's Sister included in Wedding

  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2013
    You are absolutely under no obligation to include her. If it comes up again, just politely tell them that you've already chosen your BMs. I have seen women on the groom's side as well so your FI could have her stand with him if he hasn't chosen all of his GMs. She could be guest book attendant if you have one (although she might view that as benearh her if what she really wants to be in the WP but only you can know for sure). Stand your ground and good luck.
  • I agree with Stephie!  You are under no obligation to include her, but I definitely understand feeling pressure from your ILs.  Depending on the type of wedding you're having, could you have her do a reading?  My husband and I had a full mass for our wedding, so we asked SIL to read the prayers of the faithful and to help bring up the gifts for communion.
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  • Thanks ladies! I wanted to make sure I wasn't the crazy one. I feel as though it would be different if we were friends and hung out but we don't. It also makes it awkward that they are pressuring their way in. Yea, I'm trying to think of ways I can include her in other things. We plan on having a short ceremony so not sure if we'll do any readings but yea maybe I can put her in charge of the guest book or something. 
  • Meh, I don't really think of being a guest book attendant as an honor--don't just give her something to do so she'll feel included. Have you seen the episode of Sex and the City where Miranda is given the 'honor' of being the guest book attendant? It just seems like a second-rate/b-list friend kind of job. If you don't want to include her in the BP, being a guest is still an honor. I don't see anything wrong with not including her, but there's nothing wrong with having 6 BM's either--especially if you're doing it just for the sake of numbers. Nobody notices or cares about that in the long run.

  • Here is my two cents.... what does your FI think about it? Why doesn't he ask her to be on his side? Gender roles for Groomsmen and Bridesmaids have changed. My children are standing with me at my wedding and I have two daughters and two sons. I have done weddings where the MOH was a man and one where a grooms"lady" was just that. You can stand your ground and he can ask his sister to stand with him or you can ask her to be a part of your side. Either way, the ending is the same, you marry the love of your life and you might end up finding out that it smooths the way for your family later down the road. She just wants to be a part of it and it may be that she wants to be closer to you and be a part of your celebration. Just my thoughts since you put it out there. :) Good luck!
  • I am from South Dakota and where I am from we have personal attendants. I don't know if people do that in texas, but it might be a good role for her. That way she can be involved in all the steps that day, but won't be standing up with you. I also did not include my SIL in our small WP. I made her give a reading instead. I did have to give her daughters a role to appease the MIL tho...they passed out programs. Good luck---I know it can be a touchy subject!
  • My fiance doesn't care if she's in the wedding party or not because they aren't close. I would definitely have no problem with it if was something that was important to him but he says he's not. It's just something that his mom thinks would be nice but I already have my sister and my close friends as my bridesmaids. If it's going to cause drama down the road then I'll just make her bridesmaid.
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