Allright. So everyone has started asking me this question. For the most part, I don't feel bad saying no. We have limited space (max 175 people) and I have no problem telling people that if they want to bring some random date. Our rule is no dates unless you're married, and we thought that was fair. The tough part is the people we know who have been dating for 3 or more years. Prime example; my fiance's cousin has been dating the same guy for about 7 or 8 years, and apparently they never want to get married, which kind of defies our rule. What do we say?
Re: "Can I bring a date?"
It's rude to not allow people to bring their s/o, and downright asinine the not allow it "because they aren't married yet". By that logic, if you or your FI were invited to a wedding by another bride that felt the same way you did right now, whoever was invited would be expected to fly solo for the night, because clearly you and your FI aren't "serious enough" or whatever to bring a date yet.
Are you seriously trying to say you wouldn't be offended if that happened to you?
Seriously? You're not inviting those in established relationships unless they're already married? That's absolute crap. Figure out how you can make the space for anyone in an established relationship.
If you did that to me back when I was "only" dating or engaged to my DH I would not only decline the invitation but our friendship would be seriously damaged due to yiur rudeness.
Good approach to get people to feel slighted and refuse to come though, so... kudos there.
June 2012 Bride!
FI and I have been together almost five years. We aren't married yet simply because he's waiting for me to finish grad school. If I had not gone to grad school, we probably would have been married almost two years ago.
Who are you to tell them that their relationship isn't significant enough because they haven't married yet?
I am with you on this one MoonlightSilver. H and I were together 8 years before we got engaged and then 9 before we made it official. Seriously OP, invite all of your guests with their SOs no matter the length of their relationship. If a guest is truly single then that is the only time it is ok to invite them alone.
Your rule is judgmental, hurtful, rude and rotten and will reflect on you justly.
If you want to correct this, you call up these people and invite their partners.
If someone did this to me it would permanently affect our relationship.
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
You invite them together. They are a couple. They have been a couple for 8 years!
I dated my FI for 10 years before we became engaged, and we will have been together for almost 13 years by the time we get married.
If you were my cousin and chose not to invite my FI because we are not married, I'd decline the invitation and be very hurt and pissed with you.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.