I'm new to this site but have enjoyed reading people's posts and it seems like a lovely community
This is a personal post, I know no one can help me make a decision but any thoughts appreciated! Perhaps others have had similar issues? What did you do?
A couple of weeks ago we finalized the date (14th April 2014) and venue (Springs Preserve) for our ceremony and paid the deposit after a couple of false starts with venue's that ended up not being suitable. However there have also been other developments that have resulted in us having to put the rest of our planning on hold.
My Dad has being undergoing treatment for cancer. He is currently on a break from chemo and has been in quite a bit of pain at night recently and he feels he cannot commit to coming to Vegas next April. He has a couple of other treatment options which are to commence over the coming months and although he may well not be in as much pain next year, there are too many uncertainties and potential high treatment costs for him. He is keen for us to continue with our plans for Vegas but I am not sure how I feel about that at this stage. At the moment he does not seem sick. Although he has pain that wakes him up at night, during the day he is out playing tennis most days and is very fit.
So we are currently trying to decide what to do. We can either go ahead with our Vegas planning, and accept that Dad won't be there, but try and involve him electronically using skype or similar.
Or we need to change our plans, and have a smaller ceremony in New Zealand (where he lives) much sooner, such as after Christmas this year, and then perhaps have a get together in the UK (where the rest of our friends and family live) sometime in 2014 and abandon our Vegas plans. We live in Australia BTW.
Given the increased cost of flights and the dates involved if we did decide to have the ceremony in NZ our attendees would probably just be immediate family. It will also cost them a lot more money to fly there from the UK than if they were flying to Vegas.
We are both devastated that having the Vegas wedding we'd hoped and planned for will result in not all of our family being present and that the alternative means we are unlikely to be able to share the day with our closest friends. Neither option is ideal.
Once we'd booked SP we were so excited and had started trying to narrow down our reception choice, strip tour for our guests, hotels and flights etc and I really don't want to get married in NZ. We've had our hearts set on Vegas for so long.
I just don't know if I can plan a wedding in Vegas knowing my Dad won't be there. We always knew if his condition deteriorated that we may have to make some last minute changes and have the ceremony in NZ and have a party in Vegas instead (if everything was booked and paid for) but we thought we'd cross that bridge as and when. It seems so weird to assume he'll be unwell when he seems so fine now. It doesn't seem real.
He's suggested a commitment type ceremony in NZ then we have the real one in Vegas but I don't like the idea of a 'fake' ceremony and that doesn't change the fact that I'm not sure how I'll feel having him not there at the 'real' wedding.
We also don't have the option of eloping as FI's mother has said under no circumstances will she miss our wedding. She will travel wherever whenever but it can't be without her!
Again I know there are no right or wrong answers here. Dad just wants me to be happy but it's such a hard decision! I don't want planning our wedding to be so horrible
If nothing else thanks for the opportunity to vent a bit!