Wedding after having baby?? What to do :-/

LovieLamb25

Hello everyone, 

I just got engaged on June 20 and the week after that I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. Talk about everything happening at the same time. We originally planned on having a destination wedding, but now sine we are having a baby that may not be possible. 

Our baby would be due in Feb 2014. Yay!

My partner said he wants to be married now ... not because of religious purposes or anything he told me that the day after he proposed. But I wanted to wait a while, especially since now we are having a child. 

I figured next summer Aug 2014 would be a good time, but im worried about how my body will look. Since this is my first child I do not know what to expect. Will I gain 25 lbs? or even 50?? (that would put me at 200) and if that happens will I be able to lose it. So many questions.. 

I would like to know if any of you ladies have ever been in this situation, and what did you do?

KDM323

For me personally...I'd get married in a small family and close friends ceremony between now and when they baby is born and then I'd have a belated honeymoon after the baby arrived and old enough to spend a few days with Grandma/Grandpa so I could get away.

But that's because it would be more important to me to be married before the baby was born than to have a destination wedding.

Any way you decide to do things will be fine!  Congratulations on both the engagement AND the pregnancy!  What an exciting year for you two!!!

AddieCake

LovieLamb25 said:

Hello everyone, 

I just got engaged on June 20 and the week after that I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. Talk about everything happening at the same time. We originally planned on having a destination wedding, but now sine we are having a baby that may not be possible. 

Our baby would be due in Feb 2014. Yay!

My partner said he wants to be married now ... not because of religious purposes or anything he told me that the day after he proposed. But I wanted to wait a while, especially since now we are having a child. 

I figured next summer Aug 2014 would be a good time, but im worried about how my body will look. Since this is my first child I do not know what to expect. Will I gain 25 lbs? or even 50?? (that would put me at 200) and if that happens will I be able to lose it. So many questions.. 

I would like to know if any of you ladies have ever been in this situation, and what did you do?

I think it's a personal choice of whether you care whether or not you are married before the baby comes. I don't think how your body will look should even factor into the decision. 

WinstonsGirl

I have a co-worker who did this.  She had her baby in Nov/Dec and went to Mexico for her DW in April.  She also looked stinking amazing in her dress, but she's super petite, and about 90 pounds soaking wet, so I don't think she put a lot of weight on.  She took her son to the weeding of course

As for baby weight, no one knows.  Some people gain 20 pounds, some people gain 60-70 (my SIL).  Decide on what you and your FI want - married before baby, or it doesn't matter.  DW or ease of a ceremony with baby around, and go from there with you planning.  And remember that kids generally travel free before the age of 2, so it is possible to travel with a baby.  Good luck with your planning!!

itzMS

LovieLamb25 said:

Hello everyone, 

I just got engaged on June 20 and the week after that I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. Talk about everything happening at the same time. We originally planned on having a destination wedding, but now sine we are having a baby that may not be possible. 

Our baby would be due in Feb 2014. Yay!

My partner said he wants to be married now ... not because of religious purposes or anything he told me that the day after he proposed. But I wanted to wait a while, especially since now we are having a child. 

I figured next summer Aug 2014 would be a good time, but im worried about how my body will look. Since this is my first child I do not know what to expect. Will I gain 25 lbs? or even 50?? (that would put me at 200) and if that happens will I be able to lose it. So many questions.. 

I would like to know if any of you ladies have ever been in this situation, and what did you do?

If it were me, I'd get married now. Not just because of the baby, but because it sounds like your FI actually wants to. While not necessarily difficult...most everything is unpredictible with having a first child.

radleyboo

Healthy weight gain during pregnancy is generally between 25-35 pounds, unless you are obese, which it sounds like you are not.  That is a conversation to have with your doctor, though, he/she will guide you through everything.  I also recommend you pick up "What to Expect When You're Expecting".  It was my touchstone for my 3 pregnancies.

Losing the weight depends on a lot of factors, like diet, breastfeeding, your age, your activity level, etc.  For my first 2 babies, the weight came right off.  With my last, it was a struggle and took me over a year.  Again, everyone is different and that's another area your doctor can help with.  

As for the wedding, weight gain/loss shouldn't be a factor.  Talk with your FI about what you both want and make the decision that way.  If it was my decision?  I'd likely get married now and postpone the honeymoon until after the baby was old enough to stay with Grandma for a few days so we could get away.  

Hope that helps, and congratulations on both!

ZeroOrchestra

Congratulations!

We were married when our son was 16 months old at a DW in New Orleans. Of course, every pregnancy is different, but I gained more weight than expected or what they tell you is "normal". It took me about 8 months of hard work to lose it, but again, every one is different and it will depend on a lot of things, like PP stated. I understand being concerned about losing the weight, but I would not let that be a deciding factor.

What ever you decide, make sure you are both happy with it.

 

audreyecu61

Congratulations. Your focus on your body may change once you have the baby. Have the wedding you can afford.  Everyone's body handles pregnancy differently. Good Luck

kelleywill

First Congrads

I actually had a talk about this what if with my FI years ago. We have been together for almost 8 years and engaged for most of it so i wanted to know a rough plan. If i was in you position i personally dont want to get marry just because the baby. Three of my cousins got married because of a baby. They had quick weddings 3 months of planning. It wasnt what they wanted. I would rather have a wedding i want in a way i want then rush it. 

That being said i would either just wait until after the baby comes and plan a wedding. Or do a small little cermony to just make a marriage official by paperwork and then have a actual wedding after the baby. You just gotta find what makes you both happy. 

AddieCake

kelleywill said:

That being said i would either just wait until after the baby comes and plan a wedding. Or do a small little cermony to just make a marriage official by paperwork and then have a actual wedding after the baby. You just gotta find what makes you both happy. 

That is a wedding. A wedding is an event that weds you to your spouse, after all.  OP, please don't do this. 

rel1988

Just say NO to drugs! And PP's!!!!

In all seriousness, I completely agree with Addie. Personally I would want to be married before the baby is born, but if you would rather have a longer engagement and have a wedding requiring more planning time just wait. Please don't have a quick wedding now and another wedding about your baby is born.

Simply Fated

LovieLamb25 said:

Hello everyone, 

I just got engaged on June 20 and the week after that I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. Talk about everything happening at the same time. We originally planned on having a destination wedding, but now sine we are having a baby that may not be possible. 

Our baby would be due in Feb 2014. Yay!

My partner said he wants to be married now ... not because of religious purposes or anything he told me that the day after he proposed. But I wanted to wait a while, especially since now we are having a child. 

I figured next summer Aug 2014 would be a good time, but im worried about how my body will look. Since this is my first child I do not know what to expect. Will I gain 25 lbs? or even 50?? (that would put me at 200) and if that happens will I be able to lose it. So many questions.. 

I would like to know if any of you ladies have ever been in this situation, and what did you do?

Everyone's body is different, so try not to focus on that too much. When my friend got pregnant the first time she barely gained any weight and went right back to a size zero after giving birth. Another friend gained an incredible amount of weight and ended up with a diabetes situation.

I'm very much against moving up a wedding date just because a baby is thrown into the mix. Your Fi wanted to get married right away from the get-go, but you want to wait a year. You both need to be on the same page and decide for yourselves what will be best for everyone involved further down the line, regardless of dress size lol.