Honeymoon registries?

miscom06

My fiancée and I currently live out of the country, but will be going back to Missouri for our wedding next spring. My question is this: Do any of you have suggestions on how to tell to guests that contributing to a honeymoon registry would be most beneficial for us (rather than physical gifts)? Initially, I think the idea might be perceived as tacky, but it's really impossible for us to ship tons of physical presents back with us (and contributions to the honeymoon would be very helpful). I'm not counting on guests giving us anything, but I am curious if any of you have suggestions on a polite way of directing any "gifts" toward a honeymoon registry instead. Also, that being said, do any of you know of especially good honeymoon registries that you could recommend? Thank you!

Jells2dot0

HM registries are frowned upon on these boards. I recommend doing a search of posts and also checking out the registry board that is a part of this community, which has a good HM registry post at the top of the page. The appropriate way to tackle your issue would be to have a VERY small traditional registry with items that you need but can possibly stuff in your baggage or ship (spoons, small kitchen items) but then have immediate family pass the word that you would be having a difficult time shipping items back and that a monetary gift may be the most appropriate. You cannot ask for money (and a HM registry in some ways does that) and you cannot tell people directly you want money, but your family can certainly pass that along via word of mouth. Also, most people will probably know your situation and not buy you a gift, but some people are against giving money, so that is why it's good to have a small registry of tangible items.

manateehugger

Don't do the honeymoon registry! It is a very tacky request for cash. And it's a ripoff for both you and your guests.

I'm from MO. Yes, boxed gifts are the norm. But trust me, people get the hint if you don't register. I was talking about this with one of the most etiquette-clueless women I know the other day, an even she understood that no registry=code for we'd prefer gift cards and cash.

To anyone who says "I can't find your registry" you can reply "Oh we didn't register since we don't need a lot of stuff, but we are saving up for our honeymoon." Hint dropped.

Pepper6

Just do a very small registry (because no matter what you say, some people will get you a boxed gift, and it's better to give a few options of what you need than to leave them to their own devices).  If people ask, just say "we don't need much, but we are saving for ___"  People will get the hint.

FWIW, we had a registry with about 15 small items on it.  No one asked us about our registry and we mostly received cash/checks anyways.

mlg78

Aside from people complaining about HM registries... I tend to take into account when giving a gift what the situation is with the couple... Are they traveling to the wedding location? If so, I don't want to give them a gift they have to haul back...  I think most people take this into consideration and will just give cash...

miscom06

Thanks for the replies! I was considering doing the very small registry idea beforehand, and I'm glad several of you suggested it as well. I'll skip the honeymoon registry and go from there.