How did you ask RSVP stragglers if they're coming?

TheBaysideBride

I'm thinking just an email, saying, "Hi, we're finalizing the meals for the hotel. Are you able to join us next month?" something like that?

 edit - our RSVP date is today, wedding is Aug 3, but our local caligrapher needs to get started on the seating cards stat, because they're a bit involved. So I was going to give them a few days after the RSVP date and then contact them.

southernbelle0915

I would give them a week after your date to start heckling. We got a bunch in the mail the week after they were due. Have your calligrapher get started on the ones that have already responded. 

I think your wording is just fine. 

BarbLovesDave

Make one final attempt to contact them. Say something along the lines of being considered a "decline" if you don't hear back. Soon.

"Since I haven't heard from you, I have to assume you won't be able to join us. If you can make it, please let me know by tomorrow, as we are moving forward in our planning."

wittykitty14

We started contacting people 4-5 days after the due date.  It was more of a "Hey, so do you think you can make it to the wedding?"  We've heard back from most of them.  Some still said they weren't sure, and others haven't responded at all to the messages we've left.

Our headcount date is this Friday.  Probably tomorrow, we're going to contact who's left one more time, and say that we need to hear back by Thursday, otherwise we have to assume they're not coming.

BarbLovesDave

Seriously, ladies, don't run them into the ground to get a response. If you don't hear, after a few reasonable attempts at contact, you can only assume they won't be there.

If the non-responder actually shows up, then remember you are not obliged to seat them, especially if seating is tight and all the positive RSVP folks show up. Seat the non-responders last, and only if there is room.

TheBaysideBride

Haha Liatris - so true about waiting for an email AND a mail response.

 

STARMOON44

@BarblovesDave- who was suggesting running them into the ground to get a response?

@Bayside- I think a call is better, if possible, because the people who ignore your RSVP card are probably also the people who are terrible with email

smalfrie19

STARMOON44 said:

@BarblovesDave- who was suggesting running them into the ground to get a response? @Bayside- I think a call is better, if possible, because the people who ignore your RSVP card are probably also the people who are terrible with email

I concure!

radleyboo

I used a combination of phone/text/email.  Use the method by which you most often communicate with your guests, they'll probably respond most quickly that way.  

BangBangs39

I contacted guests within a few days of the response date - I just sent messages or a quick call and said "Hi so&so - Just calling/messaging to see if your going to be able to join us next month.  I'm in the process of finalizing the plans and am really hoping I can mark you down as an accept.  Thanks!". Short & sweet and right to the point.

Kate61487

We sent primarily facebook messages and texts to our friends.  My mom and MIL each made a few phone calls.  I honestly don't recall what we said: something along the lines of "Hey, are you going to be able to make it next week?"  It wasn't terribly formal; thankfully they all responded is a very reasonable time to the request.

TheBaysideBride

thanks guys! luckily we have a low number of straglers (in part because the hotel was going to sell out so we stressed to basically everyone to book early). Interestingly, at one point we thought it was going to be 125, then looked like 180, and now we're back to 140. It's a destination, so very hard to predict how  many can make the trip. we invited 250.

jcrmc

Similar question:

We mailed ours out on my birthday - 5/20. I put *Kindly mail by June 21, 2013* on ours (wedding is August 18 - need time to plan certain things etc). I was figuring a week at the latest for everyone to get their invite (some were going from west coast to east, a few to the US from Canada). I figure the same time to get back if they were mailed on the 21st of June. Tomorrow will be 2wks from when I asked for invites to be mailed back (SASE)

So far, I have 41 responses out of 71 invited people. 37 yes and 4 no. How long do I wait to get in touch with the other 30 people?

BarbLovesDave

jcrmc said:

So far, I have 41 responses out of 71 invited people. 37 yes and 4 no. How long do I wait to get in touch with the other 30 people?

Your stated deadline was June 21. Start calling now. If you have to leave a message, do so in a way that indicates that no response will be considered a "decline". That should minimize folks showing up saying "we were invited" and left the decision to the last minute.

Voice mail: "Hi Joe I am calling about our wedding. We haven't heard back from you, so we are assuming that you won't be able to attend. If you do plan on coming, please get back to me by Tuesday."

hockey20

jcrmc said:

Similar question:

We mailed ours out on my birthday - 5/20. I put *Kindly mail by June 21, 2013* on ours (wedding is August 18 - need time to plan certain things etc). I was figuring a week at the latest for everyone to get their invite (some were going from west coast to east, a few to the US from Canada). I figure the same time to get back if they were mailed on the 21st of June. Tomorrow will be 2wks from when I asked for invites to be mailed back (SASE)

So far, I have 41 responses out of 71 invited people. 37 yes and 4 no. How long do I wait to get in touch with the other 30 people?

I had an RSVP date of April 1, I got my last response back May 28. I do not encourage this, though we had gotten a response from this persons brother saying that 'none of us Saskatchewan people will be coming', so we figured that meant him as well, we find out from FFIL, who heard from his brother, that brother's son will be coming.

I would suggest you get started on contacting people, that's a lot of non responses, and I'd venture a number of them will want to come.

Xstatic3333

jcrmc said:

Similar question:

We mailed ours out on my birthday - 5/20. I put *Kindly mail by June 21, 2013* on ours (wedding is August 18 - need time to plan certain things etc). I was figuring a week at the latest for everyone to get their invite (some were going from west coast to east, a few to the US from Canada). I figure the same time to get back if they were mailed on the 21st of June. Tomorrow will be 2wks from when I asked for invites to be mailed back (SASE)

So far, I have 41 responses out of 71 invited people. 37 yes and 4 no. How long do I wait to get in touch with the other 30 people?

In your case, I actually might wait a little and call a week before you need final numbers for your vendors. We're getting married the same weekend (yay!!!!) and it's still a ways off. Good luck!

Kate61487

jcrmc said:

Similar question:

We mailed ours out on my birthday - 5/20. I put *Kindly mail by June 21, 2013* on ours (wedding is August 18 - need time to plan certain things etc). I was figuring a week at the latest for everyone to get their invite (some were going from west coast to east, a few to the US from Canada). I figure the same time to get back if they were mailed on the 21st of June. Tomorrow will be 2wks from when I asked for invites to be mailed back (SASE)

So far, I have 41 responses out of 71 invited people. 37 yes and 4 no. How long do I wait to get in touch with the other 30 people?

Normally you can start calling about a week after the RSVP date, but you really shouldn't have set your RSVP date so early (almost two months before your wedding if your ticker is right - you should have JUST been mailing invites at that point).  I'd wait another month before you start calling; people may not have RSVP'd yet b/c they don't know if they can get off work in a month and a half.