Wedding Invitations & Paper

Can I tell guests the colors of the decor?

245

Re: Can I tell guests the colors of the decor?

  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
     
    Good to know my guests have more freedom and choice over what they wear than I do. Most of the people that will be there I've only seen a hand full of times and only known for a few years. I'll barely know most of the people that will be there.

    I didn't say I would insist on fall colored clothing, I said I would be fine with people wearing things like baby blue.


    Why don't you have a choice with what you want to wear?

    Everyone else is right about the "theme" thing...people ask to be polite and make conversation. Sometimes, I'll ask what color the bridesmaids will be wearing or what the wedding colors are...but that's because I personally don't like to look matchy-matchy to the bridal party. Most other guests honestly don't care.


  • PDKH said:


    Your guests don't care what your theme is. And honestly, if I saw pictures of a wedding where all the guests coordinated, I would think "What a crazy rude bride who forced her guests to wear her colors."





    I specifically asked this with the condition that I DO NOT WANT TO TRY TO FORCE PEOPLE. I know forcing people is rude, thanks.


    Right, but I'm saying even if you suggest to them to coordinate and they do, people will look at your pictures and think "I can't believe she dictated attire" whether you forced them or not. No one will think "Wow that wedding looks good because the guest wore fall colors."

    So I would actually hope my guests wouldn't all show up in blues.
    image
  • itzMS said:
     
    Good to know my guests have more freedom and choice over what they wear than I do. Most of the people that will be there I've only seen a hand full of times and only known for a few years. I'll barely know most of the people that will be there.

    I didn't say I would insist on fall colored clothing, I said I would be fine with people wearing things like baby blue.


    Why don't you have a choice with what you want to wear?

    Everyone else is right about the "theme" thing...people ask to be polite and make conversation. Sometimes, I'll ask what color the bridesmaids will be wearing or what the wedding colors are...but that's because I personally don't like to look matchy-matchy to the bridal party. Most other guests honestly don't care.

    My MIL wants a traditional wedding with a formal white dress, and she's footing the bill. So far I've had no luck in explaining to her that I hates white dresses.
  • @mmdonnelly First, no one here was rude. They may have been blunt, but they were not rude. They just said no. If it was you who flagged people for saying no, you can be banned for inappropriately flagging posts.
    I thought Bridezilla was a rude term, my mistake.

  • itzMS said:




     
    Good to know my guests have more freedom and choice over what they wear than I do. Most of the people that will be there I've only seen a hand full of times and only known for a few years. I'll barely know most of the people that will be there.


    I didn't say I would insist on fall colored clothing, I said I would be fine with people wearing things like baby blue.


    Why don't you have a choice with what you want to wear?

    Everyone else is right about the "theme" thing...people ask to be polite and make conversation. Sometimes, I'll ask what color the bridesmaids will be wearing or what the wedding colors are...but that's because I personally don't like to look matchy-matchy to the bridal party. Most other guests honestly don't care.


    My MIL wants a traditional wedding with a formal white dress, and she's footing the bill. So far I've had no luck in explaining to her that I hates white dresses.
    Then turn down MIL's money and pay for your own wedding. Then you can choose anything you want. Or just turn down her money for the dress and buy your own.
  • I don't think that your MIL should get to choose your wedding dress, even if she is footing the bill. What does your fiance say about this?


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image


  • @mmdonnelly First, no one here was rude. They may have been blunt, but they were not rude. They just said no. If it was you who flagged people for saying no, you can be banned for inappropriately flagging posts.

    I thought Bridezilla was a rude term, my mistake.

    She didn't say you were a bridezilla. She said dictating attire is bridezilla behavior.

    What did I say that was rude? You flagged me too
    image
  • mmdonnellymmdonnelly member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2013
    PDKH said:
    And ok, if you've been to virtually no weddings, and it's obvious that we have been to multiple weddings (and you know - some of these ladies have actually planned their own) why wouldn't you take our advice? Instead you threw a tantrum and went on a flagging spree. Edit for typo.
    A tantrum? And no here is being rude to me? I'm sorry for trying to correct what I said since it clearly was misinterpreted. If I could have I would have just deleted the thread since I clearly asked the wrong way.
  • Just let your guests wear whatever they want to your wedding.  Honestly guests could give two shits about what your theme is.  All they care about is seeing you and your FI get married and celebrating with you.  No one and I mean no one cares that much about your color scheme or theme to coordinate their attire.  So don't tell your guests if they prefer fall colors that they can most certainly wear them or anything else for that matter.  You will not be any less married if your guests are coordinating with your decor.
    You wouldn't care if people wore jeans and sweatpants? Because they've done things like that before. I wasn't trying to insist they match the decor.

    Actually I had two indiviuals who wore jeans to my wedding and guess what? I didn't care! I was just glad they came and enjoyed the day. Their jeans did not ruin the decor, nor my picutre, nor did it make me any less married. Also, my SIL wore a dress so short that if she bent over just a little or raised her arms a bit you got a good look at her thong and ass.  Again, I didn't care.  It was actually something SIL and I laugh about now because she didn't realize just how short the dress was until she saw herself in some pictures.

    You should just be happy that people want to share in your special day and celebrate with you and not care so much what they wear.


  • AddieL73 said:
    I don't think that your MIL should get to choose your wedding dress, even if she is footing the bill. What does your fiance say about this?


    He is so scared of upsetting her. I finally got him to be open to the idea of maybe not using the dress she paid for (and buying another one myself), but I don't know if it's going to go anywhere.
  • mmdonnellymmdonnelly member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2013
    itzMS said:
     
    Good to know my guests have more freedom and choice over what they wear than I do. Most of the people that will be there I've only seen a hand full of times and only known for a few years. I'll barely know most of the people that will be there.

    I didn't say I would insist on fall colored clothing, I said I would be fine with people wearing things like baby blue.


    Why don't you have a choice with what you want to wear?

    Everyone else is right about the "theme" thing...people ask to be polite and make conversation. Sometimes, I'll ask what color the bridesmaids will be wearing or what the wedding colors are...but that's because I personally don't like to look matchy-matchy to the bridal party. Most other guests honestly don't care.

    My MIL wants a traditional wedding with a formal white dress, and she's footing the bill. So far I've had no luck in explaining to her that I hates white dresses.
    Then turn down MIL's money and pay for your own wedding. Then you can choose anything you want. Or just turn down her money for the dress and buy your own.
    We can't afford the type of wedding his family expects. His parents would be really upset if we rejected their money and help, and family unity is really important to him so it's not an option.
  • Ok I am super confused now.  You say that you don't care if someone wears baby blue to your fall themed wedding but you are trying to find out if there is a way to sway your guests preference in their color choice for attire.  Do you really care or is this more your FMIL who cares?

    As for your dress.  If you don't want someone to dictate what you wear or anything else about your wedding for that matter then turn the money down.  Your FI needs to be a big boy and stand up to his Mom and stop being a doormat.  Because if he doesn't change now then your FMIL will have a say in everything you two do for the rest of your lives.


  • Would your finance rather make you happy or his mommy happy?
    He has a very hard time answering that question. It came down to that when I asked him consider a dress without white in it.
  • KDM323KDM323 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    If your fiance can't stand up to his mother now...prepare yourself for many years of a meddling mother in law.


    *** Fairy Tales Do Come True *** Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Is he going to let her dictate other aspects of your lives as well?  Your home, how you raise your children, etc?  This is a huge problem that you need to address with him immediately. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Does everyone know how to remove a love or flag? Jus click on it again. Then the love disappears. For flags, after you click on flag, select abuse and the whose thing disappears
  • ...isn't it rather obvious that OP did the flagging? In the first several posts, hers is the only one that hasn't been flagged. Because you can't flag yourself.

    Suggesting what other people wear is rude. I know, as a guest, that I'd feel pretty bad if I didn't have an orange, yellow, red or brown dress to wear if it didn't for your "theme". So that's one way to make your guests feel unwelcome.

    Let them wear whatever they want with no hint or suggestions. The theme will be spoken for in your stationery, decor and color scheme. You'll be fine.
  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Would your finance rather make you happy or his mommy happy?

    Oooh. Good point. I'm curious how old @mmdonnelly and her fiance are. I haven't let anyone dictate my attire in my entire adult life.

    It amazes me that a MIL wouldn't want her future daughter in law to be happy on her wedding day.

  • mmdonnellymmdonnelly member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2013

    Ok I am super confused now.  You say that you don't care if someone wears baby blue to your fall themed wedding but you are trying to find out if there is a way to sway your guests preference in their color choice for attire.  Do you really care or is this more your FMIL who cares?

    As for your dress.  If you don't want someone to dictate what you wear or anything else about your wedding for that matter then turn the money down.  Your FI needs to be a big boy and stand up to his Mom and stop being a doormat.  Because if he doesn't change now then your FMIL will have a say in everything you two do for the rest of your lives.

    It's my fault you're confused. The way I asked the question wasn't clear, sorry about that. I wanted to know about letting guests know the colors. "Prefer" was bad word choice on my part since I wasn't looking to sway people.

    Tell me about it.
  • @zobird . I agree. I wasn't trying to insult anyone's intelligence, but instead was trying not to name names by generalizing.
  • You don't have to have the wedding your MIL wants. You can turn down her money and pay for it yourselves. Then you can do anything you want.

    Your fiancé needs to tell her this. And if he can't, then you have a much bigger problem.

    I agree with PP though. How old are you and him if he's not able to tell mom no?
  • itzMS said:
    Would your finance rather make you happy or his mommy happy?

    Oooh. Good point. I'm curious how old @mmdonnelly and her fiance are. I haven't let anyone dictate my attire in my entire adult life.

    It amazes me that a MIL wouldn't want her future daughter in law to be happy on her wedding day.

    We're mid-20's. She does want me happy, she just doesn't always like my unique style. 
  • zobird said:
    Let them wear whatever they want with no hint or suggestions.
    How is the color/s of the invite not hinting at the colors for the decor and what not?
  • @knotporscha

    Are you going to address the inappropriate flags on this thread and discipline or ban the person doing the flagging?

  • @zobird . I agree. I wasn't trying to insult anyone's intelligence, but instead was trying not to name names by generalizing.

    Oh I don't want you to think that I was calling you out! :) I'm just not in the mood to put up with BS today. It's raining out and I'm grouchy. And I don't own any dresses in OP's color scheme.
  • @mmdonnelly- have you sent your invitations yet?  If not why not include in the wording that so&so invite you to their "insert theme" wedding on date etc, etc. I've found that people sometimes really don't know what to wear to a wedding... including the theme might help them decide.
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