Offbeat wedding calls for... Tackiness disclosure!?

biffsgirl

Hello Brides-to-be & The Knot gurus!<?xml:namespace prefix = "o" ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Invite road block.... Please help!

Our venue is 5 miles on a dirt road where our guest will have to park then be shuttled another 1/4 mile to the ceremony... This "shuttle" is a trailer with benches!?  This offbeat, untraditional ceremony has me questioning if I should have a disclosure of our venue to avoid annoyed guests! Not to mention the location is 1.5 - 3 hours for 40% of our guests (105 invited) and we are not having a reception (for all guests), pastries drinks and parasols and/or hand fans will be provided. Casual attire, AM wedding- can't change time or date. We are just one big inconvenience!  

Wow, it was just a simple invite question ...  Would you suggest a venue disclosure on invite or separate stationary included with the invite? Any suggestions or comments (other than the fact that we suck because we are not throwing a reception for everyone) is greatly appreciated. Thanks ladies!

(Pasted format is a bit funky)    Diana ..........&
Biff ....................invite you to share in their joy at their wedding
Saturday, November.................
at 10:45 in the morning   Font's Point Anza Borrego Desert State Park Borrego Springs, CA   weekend celebration immediately following at .............................................   * no reception to follow please arrive by 10 a.m or you will miss the shuttle to ceremony      

 

manateehugger

biffsgirl said:

Hello
Brides-to-be & The Knot gurus!<?xml:namespace prefix = "o" ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Invite
road block.... Please help!

Our
venue is 5 miles on a dirt road where our guest will have to
park then be shuttled another 1/4 mile to the ceremony... This
"shuttle" is a trailer with benches!? 
This offbeat, untraditional ceremony has me questioning if I should have
a disclosure of our venue to avoid annoyed guests! Not to mention the location
is 1.5 - 3 hours for 40% of our guests (105 invited) and we are not having a
reception (for all guests), pastries
drinks and parasols and/or hand fans will be provided. Casual attire, AM wedding-
can't change time or date. We are just one big inconvenience!  

Wow, it was just a
simple invite question ...  Would you suggest a venue disclosure on invite or separate stationary included with the invite? Any suggestions or comments (other than the
fact that we suck because we are not throwing a reception
for everyone) is greatly appreciated. Thanks ladies!

(Pasted format is a bit funky)   

Diana ..........&

Biff ....................invite you to share

in
their joy at their wedding

Saturday, November.................

at 10:45 in the morning

 

Font's
Point

Anza
Borrego Desert State Park

Borrego
Springs, CA

 

weekend
celebration immediately following at .............................................

 

* no
reception to follow

please arrive by 10 a.m or you will miss the shuttle
to ceremony

 
   

 

Umm you can avoid annoyed guests by not expecting them to drive for hours, get dirty and toss around in a trailer, and then no feeding them.

You MUST have some sort of reception for every single guest. Even if it is just cake and punch.

Peledreamsofrain

Are you, like, 3 people?

QueerFemme

"Wow, it was just a
simple invite question ... Would you suggest a venue disclosure on invite or separate stationary included with the invite? Any suggestions or comments (other than the
fact that we suck because we are not throwing a reception
for everyone) is greatly appreciated. Thanks ladies!

I would suggest you not proceed with this horrible plan.  You HAVE to throw a reception for ALL of your guests.  Do not tier your guests and only properly host some of them.  You either host a reception for ALL of them, or you don't invite them. 

AddieCake

Peledreamsofrain

keochan

Really?

biffsgirl

I find it completely rude when people can't put aside their "idea" of a wedding is or should be and try to find some inspiring or thoughtful way to help.. Thanks, I feel like shit now! I already know all the negative... Positive reinforcement would be appreciated.

The real importance is coming together for a marriage. I don't expect my guests to come if they wont feel comfortable in the desert.... That's why I thought I should be clear on my invites. Second 60% of those coming already have property out there as it is the first weekend of desert season. This is our lifestyle and who we are, our life is planned around the wedding... not the other way around.

 

biffsgirl

 

BostonGIrl4732

misshart00

Why are you choosing to not have a reception for all of your guests?

AddieCake

biffsgirl said:

I find it completely rude when people can't put aside their "idea" of a wedding is or should be and try to find some inspiring or thoughtful way to help.. Thanks, I feel like shit now! I already know all the negative... Positive reinforcement would be appreciated.

The real importance is coming together for a marriage. I don't expect my guests to come if they wont feel comfortable in the desert.... That's why I thought I should be clear on my invites. Second 60% of those coming already have property out there as it is the first weekend of desert season. This is our lifestyle and who we are, our life is planned around the wedding... not the other way around.

 

It's not about anyone's "idea" of a wedding. It's about properly hosting your guests. And not having a reception, even a simple one, is not properly hosting your guests. There's no argument you can make to change anyone's mind about that b/c manners are not negotiable. 

As for the rest of it, are you asking if you should tell people they will have to ride in a trailer to get to this event?  I could barely make sense of your post, honestly. You loaded it up with rambling, superfluous information. 

Peledreamsofrain

Post removed due to GBCK

biffsgirl

Thank you so much BostonGirl! The only reason the wedding is planned around our life is because we just bought a house and our budget is minimal.

Do you think it would still be rude/tacky if I just provided pastries, coffee, water, tea before the ceremony? Many people will not want to stay and can grab food on the way home. There is just no way we can feed all and my fiance' will NOT cut the list.

Can't please everyone... especially me!

misshart00

You can definitely have pastries and coffee, etc. for everyone. That's a reception. And that fixes your plans.

Edit: I'm still curious about your reasoning for not having everyone at the reception though. It doesn't have to be a big meal that breaks the bank. As long as everyone is fed and watered (and the time of day is appropriate), you can have just light snacks.

AddieCake

I'm confused as to why you're thanking Boston when she said the same thing everyone else did. 

misshart00

biffsgirl said:

Suck my ASS!

Really? People are giving you good advice and you act like that?

Apparently, bratty behavior isn't restricted to your wedding planning.

AddieCake

biffsgirl said:

Suck my ASS!

OK, but you're gonna have to buy me dinner first. 

daria24

biffsgirl said:

Suck my ASS!

Well that's lovely.

A reception is a way to thank your guests for attending your ceremony. A reception DOESN'T have to be a huge ' to do'-all that is required is that you provide refreshment for your guests, appropriate for the time of day. If you have your ceremony at 6pm, that is dinner time, and it would be rude not to feed your guests enough food to equal dinner.

For a morning ceremony, a continental breakfast-type spread would be fine and inexpensive. 

I hope you treat your guests with more grace than you have shown posters on this board. 

Peledreamsofrain

Post removed due to GBCK

libby2483

biffsgirl said:

I find it completely rude when people can't put aside their "idea" of a wedding is or should be and try to find some inspiring or thoughtful way to help.. Thanks, I feel like shit now! I already know all the negative... Positive reinforcement would be appreciated.

The real importance is coming together for a marriage. I don't expect my guests to come if they wont feel comfortable in the desert.... That's why I thought I should be clear on my invites. Second 60% of those coming already have property out there as it is the first weekend of desert season. This is our lifestyle and who we are, our life is planned around the wedding... not the other way around.

 

Nothing in your plan deserves positive reinforcement.  Not having a reception is BEYOND RUDE.  As in, I can't think of anything more rude in terms of wedding planning.  A reception is an absolute requirement.  It can just be cake and punch.  It doesn't need to cost a lot, but you do need to have one.

AddieCake

No worries, Pele. I think we've established she isn't buying anyone dinner, so I won't have to put out for her. I shall remain chaste and pure for you. 

Peledreamsofrain

Post removed due to GBCK

biffsgirl

Thank's Daria! Yeah, my husband didn't care for peledramsofrain's comment and I don't know how to delete!

misshart00

You can't delete others people's posts.

And, your husband? Are you already married?

AddieCake

biffsgirl said:

Thank's Daria! Yeah, my husband didn't care for peledramsofrain's comment and I don't know how to delete!

Yet you knew how to delete one of your earlier comments? Mmmmk. 

smalfrie19

just keep digging love im sure you will get to china in no time

biffsgirl

misshart00- I don't know how to delete my post (he posted)... new to discussion board. Common-law marriage, it's a habit.

harper0813

Do you mean "kiss my ass"? Because I haven't heard of ass-sucking.

Also, you are acting like a child. You sure don't seem mature enough to understand the profundity of marriage.

A desert for several hours? Really? Parasols and paper fans are not going to cut it. You are going to have a very sunburnt group on your hands - assuming that people decide that they want to spend a hungry afternoon in the desert, that is.

misshart00

biffsgirl said:

misshart00- I don't know how to delete my post (he posted)... new to discussion board. Common-law marriage, it's a habit.

I don't understand what any of this means.

LiLe422

biffsgirl said:

Suck my ASS!

Oh well hello there sunshine! 

You do realize these fine ladies are trying to save you from committing THE BIGGEST wedding faux pas possible, yes? 

Get a grip, then get over yourself and change your plans.  You MUST properly host your guests.  You have been given some very good suggestions on how to do that from pp above.