Asking bridesmaids to wear the same dress- Unreasonable or okay?

thkewedding

Would it be unreasonable to ask all my bridesmaids to wear the same dress? I know it's becoming a common thing, but I just don't like how it looks. It just seems so scattered and random. All my girls are pretty busty (Ranging from D-G cup), with the exception of one. I was thinking of finding a dress that looks flattering on the bustier ladies. But then would I run into a problem with the less busty girl? Is it unreasonable to ask that bridesmaid to wear a dress just because it looks good on the other girls?

cbrown828

It's not unreasonable. However, discuss with each bridesmaid in private what her budget is for the dress, and find a dress under the lowest budget. I have never minded wearing matching bridesmaid dresses, except for the time the bride chose a $198 dress without consulting any of us. As for flattering dresses, you may find something that flatters everyone, or you may come around to the idea of dresses in the same color, fabric, and length, but with a neckline that flatters each BM.

Teddy917

I would just let them find a dress in the right color and length. As someone that is on the flat side, dresses meant for bustier women would make me feel hideous.

thkewedding

I wouldn't say my other bridesmaid is on the flat side. She just isn't in the D-G cup range.

Also, one bridesmaid is only 4'11" and my tallest is 5'10". I was hoping for long dresses, but would height be a big factor on that?

manateehugger

It's fine (and still the norm in our circle). Just make sure the dress you pick fits every woman's budget and comfort.

MairePoppy

It's reasonable as long as you stay within their budgets. You should try to find a dress that looks good on all the bms. 

thkewedding

I definitely plan on privately asking everyone what their budget is. I'm a BM for a September wedding, and I know I didn't want to pay $300-$400 for a dress. I wouldn't expect that from my girls either.

Are there any styles/fabrics that look flattering on all body types? 

QueerFemme

sthorne91 said:

I definitely plan on privately asking everyone what their budget is. I'm a BM for a September wedding, and I know I didn't want to pay $300-$400 for a dress. I wouldn't expect that from my girls either.

Are there any styles/fabrics that look flattering on all body types? 

Some people's budget might not even accomodate a $150.00 dress.  $300-400 is beyond ridiculous. 

Personally, I really think it looks nicer to pick a color, length & fabric and let each person choose a dress that they love.  It is very rare that every person looks good in the same dress. Even if they are all busty. 

manateehugger

Anything with a defined waistline and an A line skirt tends to flatter most body types. Make sure the dress also has room for cleavage.

kiddodarling

I'm in a wedding where there is 4 girls different shapes and sizes and we're all wearing the same dress. You should just go to a Davids Bridal and try on the same dresses for all the BMs and see if any work for the girls and their budgets.

calliopeia2013

As a D-G cup lady myself, I will just say that while PPs are correct that it's totally not unreasonable to ask them all to wear the same dress, in my experience it results in a better-looking bridal party if you let them choose their own dresses, so that they're each in a dress that fits them very well, instead of all being in a dress that looks just "okay" on each of them.  I also always hate being the one to be like, "No, I can't wear that dress, it is literally impossible to make it fit me" and disappointing all the other BMs who love it.  And I can wear maybe one in every twenty bridesmaids dresses without substantial alterations, so I have to say that a LOT.

misssunshine17

I think you should get over it for the sake of your friends comfort. Different styles are so much easier and you want them to look and feel their best. 

clharrison2

All my bridesmaids are wearing the same color and length. It all depends on your personal tastes and wishes for your day. As previous posts said, consult them in private about budget. Also, the bridal salon where I bought my dress was great in helping select a dress that would look flattering on all body types, so maybe you can get some assistance that way. A good friend will wear the dress you select and be happy doing it.

emdotrock

Teddy917 said:

I would just let them find a dress in the right color and length. As someone that is on the flat side, dresses meant for bustier women would make me feel hideous.

I agree, im having a hard time finding a wedding dress that i feel at all pretty in. I still havent found anything that i think looks good. I am flat and literally have no curves, no back side no real waist going in a bit, nothing. If i had to wear a dress the same as all my friends, i would look like i was wearing a garbage bag since they are all lucky with very attractive curves and great features. Granted, they cant wear the kind of clothes i wear, its the same both ways. Keep that in mind, but it is your day so if you dont think it looks bad, then do it. Youre the one who is going to say this is my wedding not them.

ashleyep

kiddodarling said:

I'm in a wedding where there is 4 girls different shapes and sizes and we're all wearing the same dress. You should just go to a Davids Bridal and try on the same dresses for all the BMs and see if any work for the girls and their budgets.

Just be careful about this. I'm a BM and my friend chose DB because it was relatively inexpensive. Even though she gave us the choice of style (in a specific fabric and color), I ended up spending almost as much on alterations ($100!) as I did on the dress because the smallest size DB carries is a 2 and I'm smaller than that.

I was happy to do it, but I can't help but feel that I'll be a little bit upset if she gives me a hard time about budget when we decide on BM dresses for my wedding after I spent $250 on hers.

southernbelle0915

It's not unreasonable as long as it's in their budget. If they're all different sizes, I would try to go under budget so that they can afford alterations if they want/need them.

OliveOilsMom

I didn't care what dress my girls wore.  I did want them all in the same dress though, in a knee length.  So we found a weekend where we could all get together.  The girls just went crazy trying things on.  They narrowed it down to 3 and then they all made me pick which dress they wore.  Can you try that?

emdotrock

i like olive oils moms idea! Im going to let my 2 maids just pick theirs and consult with each other on what they want. If they dont feel pretty, they arent going to look pretty

southernbelle0915

emdotrock said:

i like olive oils moms idea! Im going to let my 2 maids just pick theirs and consult with each other on what they want. If they dont feel pretty, they arent going to look pretty

Good!! What I did with my BMs was picked a brand (Ann Taylor), a color (Navy), a fabric (silk georgette) and a length (knee), and let them pick whatever they wanted. There were about 4 dresses to choose from - strapless, tank, one-shoulder, and something else I don't remember. They all got something that fit their body and that they want to wear again.

emdotrock

That sounds perfect to me! No two girls ever want to go to a place matching perfectly head to toe, we like our individuality. I dont see anything wrong with what you chose to do. My 2 BMs have dressed them selves for years and i havent seen anything on them that i dont like, they know how to dress their size better than i would know how to dress them. Ones your standard party Puerto Rican and the other is like a fun librarian so itll be fun to see what they decide.

manateehugger

Just another thought: I originally wanted matching dresses and then thought again about it.

What I'm going to do is narrow it down to 10ish dresses with similar feels, different necklines but same designer, length, color, and fabric. Then I'll let my ladies pick from among those the one they like best.

They get more flexibility and comfort, but you still get a relatively uniform bridal party.

ETA: Whoops- I basically said the same thing as SouthernBelle! Sorry!

kiddodarling

ashleyep said:

kiddodarling said:

I'm in a wedding where there is 4 girls different shapes and sizes and we're all wearing the same dress. You should just go to a Davids Bridal and try on the same dresses for all the BMs and see if any work for the girls and their budgets.

Just be careful about this. I'm a BM and my friend chose DB because it was relatively inexpensive. Even though she gave us the choice of style (in a specific fabric and color), I ended up spending almost as much on alterations ($100!) as I did on the dress because the smallest size DB carries is a 2 and I'm smaller than that.

I was happy to do it, but I can't help but feel that I'll be a little bit upset if she gives me a hard time about budget when we decide on BM dresses for my wedding after I spent $250 on hers.

Did you go to DB for the alterations? I've learned never to go there. They told me they would need to alter my wedding dress and quoted me twice what a seamstress quoted me. Also, I hear their work isn't always that great, but maybe thats just the locations I'm near. 

PrimRoseMama

sthorne91 said:

Would it be unreasonable to ask all my bridesmaids to wear the same dress? I know it's becoming a common thing, but I just don't like how it looks. It just seems so scattered and random. All my girls are pretty busty (Ranging from D-G cup), with the exception of one. I was thinking of finding a dress that looks flattering on the bustier ladies. But then would I run into a problem with the less busty girl? Is it unreasonable to ask that bridesmaid to wear a dress just because it looks good on the other girls?

I did something similar with my bridesmaids. They all wore the same bottom part of the dress, but were able to pick the top of their choice. The only thing I required was the color and the skirt be the same. It ended up working out really well. Each bridesmaid (I had 8) looked put together but they got to pick a top that they were comfortable with. Is this an option for you? I know Alfred Angelo and David's Bridal all offer mix n' match styles. Consider it!

thkewedding

PrimRoseMama said:

I did something similar with my bridesmaids. They all wore the same bottom part of the dress, but were able to pick the top of their choice. The only thing I required was the color and the skirt be the same. It ended up working out really well. Each bridesmaid (I had 8) looked put together but they got to pick a top that they were comfortable with. Is this an option for you? I know Alfred Angelo and David's Bridal all offer mix n' match styles. Consider it!

I didn't know they offered mix and match styles! I'll definitely have to check that out. We probably won't look until it's closer to the end of the year. I'm just trying to brainstorm ideas and figure out what I want the girlies in so they feel comfortable. 

allispain

I originally thought I wanted all of my BMs to be in the same dress. Then I went shopping with 3 of them to try to find one - inevitably, one would love a dress but another would feel uncomfortable in it (too much cleavage, not long enough, etc.). This happened because they have different body types, just like OP's do - ranging from 5'3'' to 5'11'', flat-chested to DDs, etc. In the end, I just had them each pick their own (same designer, fabric, length, etc. like PPs have said) so that they could each choose something that made them feel both comfortable and pretty. To me, it was more important that my friends not be miserable or uncomfortable than to have pictures of everyone in matching dresses. Besides, the pictures turned out great anyways :-)

fre3doms

I was in two weddings last year and both times we all matched. I was one of 4 and one of 3. I was the most curvy of the girls both times. It was nice cause I went along with the bride both times to help pick out the dresses.

Definitely don't go to David's Bridal for the alterations. I was able to get a friend's mom do it for me for both dresses.

Another friend of mine picked her wedding colors and each girl got to wear whatever dress they wanted. The MOH was in one color and the other 4 girls in the second color. I thought it was a really nice way to do it. If I was going to have a wedding party I would do it that way.

lyndsay782

All my girls are wearing the same dress, and it looks good on 2 out of three.  It was only $80, and it's a David's Bridal dress.  The one it didn't look as good on just needs alterations, and i'm fairly confident that it will. All three girls are different body types too. One is all middle, one is all top and one is, well "evenly dispersed". 

I was actually surprised that they picked the dress they did, but it's something that can be worn again.  It's not overly dressy, and it's a short stretch satin with an empire waist, and its dark purple (aka Regency).  

doeydo

That is totally not unreasonable.  That is kind of standard...

PrimRoseMama

I think its fine... The only thing I did (when I got married) was insist on color and matching bottom piece. They got to pick their tops because they were all varying in their bust size and desires for modesty. If you have a dress that allows mix n' match then that might be a good option to consider.